Dorm Daze 2 Page #5

- Yeah.

This'll break the ice, huh?

One romantic movie coming right up.

OK.

OK.

- Ready?

- Mm-hmm.

Honey, come on.

Everyone's gettin' really hungry.

Ahoy there, matey.

I'm Captain Bluebush,

Slut of the Seven Seas.

I've come for your jewels...

family jewels.

Ooh.

Ohh! That's it now.

Ohh!

This isn't romantic. Oh, my God.

What are... eww. Uh...

This is disgusting, Newmar.

What kind of girl do you think I am?

No, no, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

What the... what button is this?

God, he can be such an a**hole.

I can't believe you did it with Stukas.

I thought you hated him.

Lynne, Gerri loses all self-control...

when she's got alcohol in her system.

It's like she's a maniac.

I feel like sh*t.

Ohh.

Don't tell anyone about this, you guys.

- Promise.

- Promise.

Hey, Gerri, ohh.

You poor thing. You look like crap.

Here. I thought you could use

a little hair of the dog.

There's booze in that?

Well...

uh, not so much.

I call it the Rusty remedy.

It's a morning drink.

Nice try.

Ohh!

Ohh!

There was Everclear in there!

Oh, my God! My eyes!

I'm sorry, OK?

Um, look. I know what we need to do.

We need to get you back in the mood, OK?

- OK.

- So lie back down...

and I work a little magic.

Where are you taking me, Booker?

The gym. It's the closest shower.

You need to wash out your eye.

Oh, thank you. You're so good to me.

Oh, my God, this hurt... what if I'm blind?

- What if I'm blind?!

- You're n...

The rest of my life as a blind man?!

You know what? You know what?

I'll... I'll catch up with you in a sec, bud.

Uh... uh...

I...

All right, people, I know you all want...

to stare at my impressive meat...

but try to show a little restraint, shall we?

Ah, ah, come on.

Hey!

How's it going?

Hey, a**hole, remember me?

Aw, nah.

Aw, not you again.

Move it, b*tch!

Don't do that!

Get outta here!

Move it!

Get him! Go!

Don't f*** with Olga.

Whoa, now. Down, girl.

Come to mama, you little dickless wonder.

Come on! Bring it on!

Stay out of here, you little prick!

Oh, my God. What was that?

No! Don't look!

That came from Violet's room.

Aah! Help, Booker!

What is going on in here?

Haven't you ever heard of knocking?

- We'll save you.

- Rape!

What are you guys doing?

What are you guys doing?

- Booker!

- Hold on.

Dude, pull me up. Help! Ohh.

- Eww.

- What is that?

Somebody help me!

Aah!

Would everyone just leave?

You two had better not be doing

what it is most obvious you were doing.

Did you guys hear a horn?

Oh, crap. Is that Rusty?

Don't let go. Is he naked?

What is all this screaming about?

- Hey, a butt.

- Ooh.

I'm getting the camera.

I can't get leverage.

We need more people!

No, don't call over more people!

What's going on here?

That looks dangerous.

Pull me up!

Who gave you permission?

Is that Rusty?

Would you just get out?

Oh! Oh, yeah!

What channel's this?

Newmar, tell them to leave.

What?! I can't hear anything!

Po-mo girls are comin' over.

We'll have you up in no time.

No! Not the po-mo girls!

What's with the candles and flowers?

Hey, wait a minute.

Were you and Newmar gonna do it?

- What?!

- Nice.

Just let me die. Let me die.

Pull! And pull!

And pull! And pull!

And pull!

And pull!

And pull! And pull!

And pull! And pull!

And pull! And pull!

And pull! And pull!

And pull! And pull!

Professor Cavendish?

It's Robin.

I know you're in there, Rex.

Open up...

Ohh!

Looks like your boyfriend left the boat.

Dante, what are you doing here?

And wh-what do you mean,

"my boyfriend"?

I know about you and Cavendish...

and it's gross. He's old...

and he's such a pompous jackass.

What makes you think he left the boat?

Well, the door was unlocked,

but he wasn't here.

Looks like he packed and left in a hurry.

Forget about him, Robin.

You know I'm the one who really loves you.

I need to go. Yeah.

I love you, and with Cavendish

out of the way...

we can finally be together.

Kiss me, Robin.

Get off of me, Dante!

Why?! Why not me?!

I'll see you at rehearsal, OK?

We should, uh, concentrate on the play.

Whoo!

I'll concentrate on the play.

Missing, you say?

Yeah. I, uh, went to go look for him in his...

during his office hours...

and, um, he's never been late before.

Well, he said nothing to me.

But knowing him, it wouldn't surprise me...

if he didn't stay onshore.

I'll place some calls.

That's Rusty's hat. He likes leaving it there.

Hey, Wang,

your monkey's f***ing with my sh*t.

Are you even allowed

to have that on the ship?

I mean, what if he starts...

shitting everywhere?

What if I start shitting everywhere?

Ah. Now he's got one of the diamonds.

Come here, buddy.

Now, Choo Choo,

please give me the diamond. Thank you.

See?

Robin, Robin, I am sorry...

but I just... I have to drop out the play.

Drop out? The play starts in a few hours.

Th-there are no understudies.

I'll help out any way I can...

but I'm just too embarrassed

to go onstage.

Violet, wait!

OK, this isn't happening. OK?

I'm gonna have to play her part.

No one else knows her lines.

I do.

I have the whole play memorized.

Ha ha ha ha!

Look, I'll buy the photos from you.

It's too late, Rusty.

They're already on my blog.

Come on, you guys!

This really isn't necessary.

Newmar, yes, it is.

How am I supposed to walk in these?

Well, that's what you get

for having such big feet.

It's all I could find in a size fourteen.

I look like a stripper.

Well, strip.

Hey... oh, I need you.

Mmm!

So Rachel is playing Violet's role?

Don't you have to kiss that character?

That'll be weird.

Hey...

this DVD is totally disgusting.

If Violet didn't find this romantic, Newmar...

it wasn't meant to be.

I'm gonna have to alter the entire costume.

Make it happen, foosball.

Violet, psst, we really need to talk.

No, Newmar.

What?!

Uhh!

Has Stukas showed up yet?

Uh, not yet, but I'll go check backstage.

A**hole.

After this drink...

what do you say we go back to my room?

Houselights down!

Mike, bring the house down.

Did you find a way to secure those lights?

Yeah, I did it this morning, chief.

Got it locked in there but good.

Let's complete the run-through.

Let's take it from the top without Stukas.

I am so frightened.

The murderer could still be amongst us.

Dios mo.

Oh, Colonel, I shall never feel safe again.

Fear not, miss. For I, Colonel Kroog...

will make sure that you are safe.

Oh, Colonel, you're so brave.

Come on, guys.

Whatever the two of you

are going through personally...

I don't care.

In less than an hour,

these seats will be filled.

So kiss already.

Go!

You must be enjoying this.

Can we just get this over with?

Rusty, the kiss is your cue.

Uh...

what's everyone just standin' around for...

when there's a mystery to solve?

Now, uh...

Constance, you were...

standin' by the fireplace with the fire poker.

No, Rusty. It's, "Constance...

"you were standing by the bay window...

"holding a candlestick."

Rusty, remember

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes