Downtime Page #4

Not if one hasn't got a downstairs.

Hey, what the f*** are you doing, eh?

I thought you were getting us out.

Yeah, don't worry.

Oh, Christ!

Rob. Rob!

Don't be hurt, Rob. Please

don't be hurt. Don't hurt. Rob!

Rob!

Oh, sh*t!

Rob, are you...

- Hey.

- Where are ya?

It's okay, I'm here.

It's okay.

No, it's not okay. It's not okay.

In fact, it's very not okay.

In fact... All right. Oh, jeez,

I'm panicking. Come on, Robert,

you are 'Pot-Hero'.

Just add water...

and say goodbye to

all those perilous situations.

Buy 2... get one...

Okay?

I'm nearly there.

Are you okay, Jake?

- Yes.

- That's a yes.

Chrissy.

Get to the doors of the lift.

There's room for you all

to get out to the roof.

- Why, why? What's going on?

- You'll have to hand Jake to me.

Right. Hello.

What you doing?

Well why do I have to hand

Jake up to you?

Because this lift is gonna go!

Come on!

Well, Pat... Pat's never gonna

make it up there!

Yes he will, Chrissy.

Please. Come on.

Come on.

Just hand Jake to me, Chrissy.

Then we'll get you out. Come on!

- Come on!

- No, not without me.

In a minute, Chrissy.

Please, just pass Jake to me.

Come on, Chrissy.

Good boy.

You just sit there.

Good boy.

Now, come on!

- Pat!

- Now, Chrissy!

Jake.

Go and sit between the lift shafts.

Pat, Pat. Patrick.

Is it patrick?

- Patrick, Patrick Mulcahy.

- Patrick Mulcahy. Pat!

He can't hear you.

You'll have to shake him.

I'm afraid of doing that.

Patrick, come on.

Rob!

Rob!

I'm shaking him, I'm doing that.

He's not responding.

No, no...not that.

What?

There's something happening.

Above us where all the wheels

and things are.

- Get out of there quick. Quickly.

- I'm not gonna go without Patrick.

- Get out now!

- No, I'm gonna try...

Come on!

Look, you're the one who wanted

the hero, okay? So just shut up!

Look, Pat!

- He's with us. He's back.

- Oh, thank you.

Come on! Come on, Pat!

Pat! Come on. Come on.

Are you okay?

- Look, I've got to get you up there.

- Hurry up with him.

I have to...

- Rob! Get out, now!

- It's all right, son.

I know what you're saying.

- Off you go.

- Thank Christ for that.

Come on, Pat, quickly.

Give me your hand. Quickly!

- I can't push with these legs, son.

- It's okay, Pat.

It's not okay!

Right, come on.

- Leave him.

- I can't do that.

Yes, you can. It's going to be

too far in a minute. Rob, please!

Pat, once more. Two, three...

Pat, push, you bastard.

You bastard. Push!

Rob, please!

Come on you, buck up your ideas.

Okay, Jason, well done.

Now we're gonna chat later

about what you're gonna do

with the money. Okay?

Where the f*** is everyone?

Didn't anyone hear that?

What d'you expect,

the f***ing cavalry?

The building's empty.

Jesus Christ.

- I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

Is Pat all right?

I'm sorry.

I know you are.

You did everything you could, Rob.

Rupert, my son...

he died in my arms.

Not metaphorically,

literally in my arms

of asthma. Not breathing.

And for 4 pretty f***ing wonderful

years that kid would look up at me

and think that there was,

there was nothing I couldn't do.

Until one day there was something...

one thing that I couldn't do

and that was save his life.

And I did everything I could but

it wasn't good enough then either.

And ever since the most

depressing thing has been that

I don't think

that he understood

how much that

I loved him.

- Well, did you tell him?

- Well, yeah... I told him.

Of course I told him but he,

he was 4, you know?

When I said "l love you", he, he just thought that's

dad being soppy.

That's what mummy says...

dad says...

"hey chum, come here".

Wrestled with him.

"hey chum, come here."

It's the words we use.

The words we use.

"You cloth eared cat"...

that's what me mam would say.

"Don't do that you cloth eared cat,

or you'll be f***ing severed"

she's say.

Ah, she was funny, me mam.

No, she wasn't funny.

She was a sad woman actually.

I remember I asked her once,

just once why she put up with

me dad and his ways you know?

And one day she had enough.

And she killed him!

I swear to God.

She killed him and the years

of terror ended in an instant.

- Just like that!

- Really?

No, he died of a heart attack at 45.

But it sounded good though, didn't it?

I make her sound gutsy.

She was never gutsy my mam.

- Did you wanna die, Chrissy?

- Don't know.

Don't think I cared really.

No, I don't think right then

after everything that had happened

that I really gave a damn.

I suppose my life was in your hands.

- Are we going shopping?

- Oh, aye, all right, pet.

But there's no hurry

so just let's finish this first.

And then by the time we get back

it'll be time to go to Pat's for tea.

- Why?

- Because it's Saturday, pet.

Your dad'll have made us

the usual meat and 2 veg.

- Oh, sh*t.

- What?

My reliever.

It must have fallen out of my pocket.

Oh God, what next?

- Is that all?

- "ls that all"? It's my reliever!

That thing can be a lifeline.

I'm, I'm not being dramatic on you

but l, l... I can die if I have

a bad attack without it.

A bad attack? Well, what's this?

Well, it's not good.

Well, if I'm wheezing that's okay.

- That's a good thing.

- Good thing?

Yeah, if I go quiet... that means

my pipes are closing up.

That's a not good thing.

Oh, okay. Well don't worry.

You'll be fine.

Oh, f***ing kids!

Do you see the pain they cause?

This fascination with fire and fear

and... and then you and Pat.

And we've got little f***ing

cos they think it makes them, men.

And grown-up f***ing men acting

like little kids.

- Fact... do you want a fact here?

- One!

In Madagascar...

do you know what they do

to turn boys into men?

Madawhat?

They have a rite of passage.

You know, like a wedding or a funeral.

A ceremony.

And at the, the age of 13 they, they circumcise them.

Over a pile of dung.

What, in a hospital?

No, no, no. No, no hospital, n

o anaesthetic.

Just a blade and

as much blood as possible.

And you, do you know what happens

to the prepuce after that?

The what?

- The foreskin, after that?

- No, what?

An elder has to eat it

between 2 pieces of banana.

- No!

- Yes, swear to God.

Oh, f*** off. Did you mate get this

from his book in the bog?

No. No.

I bet the kids wouldn't

mug women after that?

We'd just bash them on the cock.

You're dead clever you,

aren't you?

Hey, does that mean

I can take my shoes off?

What, here?

Yes. As a kind of... as a reward

for being dead clever.

No. F*** right off!

You're not taking your shoes off.

No. I'm not having

your smelly, manly feet.

All right, I'll tell you what.

I'll, I'll do a deal with you.

I'll suffer with my shoes on,

you stop telling me to f*** off.

- Why?

- Because. That's the deal.

- Right?

- Okay, okay.

I promise. No more. Anything.

Them bloody stairs.

Aye, but you wouldn't catch me

dead in one of those lifts!

So, why are you always

supporting our Kevin?

- Cos I'm his mam, Jim. Watch it!

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