Dreams of a Life Page #7

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just doesn't sound like Joyce.

'As far as her sisters are concerned,

'if she'd fallen out with them

and ended her relationship with them,

'there was nothing they could do.'

'She didn't strike me

as being maternal.

'She was never broody that way

towards her nieces and nephews.'

'Although everything about Joyce

was all very superficial,

'in that she never really liked

to let people in.

'You never ever knew

that she had a problem in her life.

'The moment

something wasn't right

'she'd just up sticks and move.

'The times she moved in London,

and I was always helping her move.

'The familiar black bin liners

with all her stuff in.'

'Her life was virtually one suitcase.

'No pictures,

very few memories, no music.

'She seemed

to lead this nomadic existence.'

'I was aware later on

that she'd walked out of several jobs.

'And you'd ask why

and she'd never really give a reason

other than she got a bit of hassle

from someone at work.

We kind of rescued her

from the clutches of a colleague.

'He was quite determined

that he was going go home with her.

'I think because Joyce had had a few,

'her resistance may have been

a little bit lower than normal.'

She made it quite clear that

she wanted to go home on her own,

so me and Kim made it our duty

to make sure that she got in a cab.

She said,

"Oh, someone was pestering me".

'I said, "What, in a sexual sort of way?"

And she said, "Yes."

'And then,

rather than confront the problem,

'she would just walk out of the job.'

That's a strange way

of dealing with things,

to not really confront them.

Hi, John.

'She had some trauma

with the relationship she was in

'and turned up at my house.

'I don't remember if she came

with a bag, a bin liner or what.

'It was like I wanted to help her

and I wanted to find out a bit more.

I don't know if I wanted to know more

because I wanted a relationship with her.

That's partly true.

'I don't know the arrangement

'but she was staying

up at John's place.'

There were things

that used to make her uncomfortable.

Talking about sex

made her feel uncomfortable.

I think he probably thought

she fancied him as well,

knowing him.

After a while she started

to feel comfortable around me,

and she'd be walking around

in her underwear, which was just...

I mean, she was gorgeous

and you don't want some girl you fancy

walking around your house in underwear.

'Over the few weeks before she left,

there was a tension developing.

'Maybe men and women

see things differently.'

But I saw it

as some sort of sexual tension.

There were times when I thought,

"Shall I, shan't I?"

I'm sure there were occasions when

I may have been able to take advantage.

I think I may have been able

to take advantage.

She gave that impression.

Although I never did

and it never happened.

And then it got to the point where...

There was one day when it was

just becoming very uncomfortable.

I came home and she was gone

and it was a relief to find she'd gone.

'Part of me wonders

whether there was sadness in her life.

'Obviously something wasn't right.'

'It did cross my mind that

something happened in her childhood

'that affected her.'

One of the things I thought,

initially, and it came back to mind,

was that maybe she was abused.

'She was almost the perfect example

'of someone

that was interfered with as a child.

'You think stuff like that

because of the way she was.'

I often wondered if that was contributing

to her character of secrecy.

Or maybe she...

I was going to say she didn't trust people,

but then, she did trust people.

That was one thing.

She did trust people.

Maybe she was over-trusting.

Maybe she got...

Later on, maybe she was not so trusting.

It's a funny contradiction.

Does she trust people

and then she doesn't tell people?

She kind of made relationships

but to a certain point.

Because of maybe a trust issue.

She didn't trust.

She had a problem trusting people.

'It was said at the inquest

'that she had been linked

into a battered woman's organisation.'

It was never settled satisfactorily

'whether or not

she had been an abused woman.

'I think it's fair to say

she'd been in an abusive relationship.

'I thought someone might have been

looking out for her because of that.

'But she'd sort of moved

out of that system.'

'I think that when

Joyce was in the women's refuge

'she was probably ashamed.

The domestic violence

doesn't surprise me.

'Guys were just so focussed

and so possessive with her.

'That bit just didn't surprise me at all.'

There was no evidence of it

when we lived together.

There was nothing to say...

She never said anything

about any other boyfriends

being physical with her.

It was just the emotional intensity.

She seemed to make

all the wrong choices with men,

which is sad really, very sad.

It's sad that men could treat her badly

because she didn't deserve it.

She wasn't that type of person.

I feel quite sad

that maybe she didn't feel

that she could share that with people

that did really care about her

and I think genuinely

would have helped her.

'She was always reticent

and reluctant to talk about her past.'

'You get to know people

that tend to keep going back

'to people that are violent.

'They often had violent backgrounds

so they see that as normal.'

And if you're nice to them,

they can't handle it. They don't like it.

My only theory is that if she was

with a guy who used to beat her,

perhaps he isolated her

from the family.

Because that's a classic thing to do

for anyone who is a bully,

get them away

from their nearest and dearest.

And then they've got total control.

'I felt very upset

that anyone could be horrible

'to someone who's so gentle,

'someone who, as I said, hasn't got

a shred of nastiness about them.

And then...

for some guy to...

...well, take advantage

of her niceness, if you like,

and just be horrible to her...

She was the least deserving person

of that sort of treatment.

We've all made

stupid choices in our lives,

'but hers were tragic.

Why did she gravitate to bad people?

Because she was a very bright girl.

She was a very bright girl.

'I'd like to know

what her problem was.'

And I'd like to think that the people

that caused her that problem

will get their comeuppance as well.

This is BBC1.

And now the ten o'clock news.

'She was obviously

in a difficult relationship.

'They had come to a point

where they couldn't live together

'but they couldn't move out.'

They almost divided the house up.

- Yeah.

'I didn't know much about them

other than she had to escape from them.

'I don't know if it was the same person

or a load of different people.'

Although two of them

were probably serious enough

for her to need to disappear.

'And the last one certainly was,

whoever he was.

'I think he should be...

'absolutely ashamed of himself

if he's still around

'to make a girl disappear.'

'The last time I saw her

was up the West End somewhere.'

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