Drillbit Taylor Page #5

Okay.

Now it isn't all oriental martial arts.

Sometimes you give

a little Mexican judo as in

"Ju don't know who

you're messing with, homes."

Come on, Ryan, one more. Last one!

Show me your mettle. Come on! Ol!

Wow!

Ryan!

Man down!

Ryan!

Was that my fault?

Hey! Check this out.

Dude! You fell like 60 feet.

Jeez, that was crazy.

What is this?

This is a strategic outpost.

I got these posted all over the city.

Don't even look at it, okay?

Now let's get back up there

and get to work.

What's this for?

To wash your balls in the morning?

No. Look like a squeegee to you?

Or does it look like a weapon

with a straight edge

and a little mop to clean up the blood?

T-Dog, Emmit, this way.

- Where's Drillbit?

- I don't know.

- Wait up.

- Should be right up here.

Man down!

Take this.

- Take a swing at my head.

- Oh, no.

Wade, come on. Just hit me.

- But it'll hurt.

- Wade hit me.

- I'll do it.

- Shut up.

I feel no pain,

'cause I have a trained mind.

- Go!

- Come on.

- Let's beat it.

- Come on, come on, come on, let's go.

- Hey, Drillbit. We could make s'mores!

- No.

- How much does a Hug Me Bear cost?

- No.

- Where'd you get the kids, Drillbit?

- I won them in a poker game.

Order up!

- How's this part of the training?

- It's called bulking up.

- I'm already fat.

- Hey. You're not fat.

I don't want to hear you say you're fat.

Words like lard ass, fat pig, butterball,

landslide, mudslide.

I don't want to hear that.

What are you tipping the scales at?

What?

Whenever you're ready, boys.

Okay, one of you guys

got to pick this up,

'cause I'm still on the clock.

Filkins. Filkins.

Avoidance technique!

Avoidance technique!

Come out here, Capone!

You want to fight?

You want to fight,

you and me, right here?

This is very important. See that?

What's the matter? Afraid to

come out from behind your men?

- He has a holdback guy.

- Afraid to stand up for yourself?

Now that allows people to think

that you want to fight

when really he doesn't want to fight.

You got nothing in court.

You don't got the bookkeeper.

When I'm here I'm your holdback guy.

So now you can act crazy.

No, hey, hey, calm down.

I'm gonna kill you!

Hey, stop! Stop!

Calm down.

- Hoo-rah.

- Hoo-rah.

Get under the wing.

Put all the bills facing

the same direction.

Yeah, don't worry about it, Don.

I thought these kids were loaded.

It's like all you read about are how

and look at this.

Hardly got anything. You think this is

gonna get me to the Great White North?

Allow me to make a point real quick.

Hello, delicious.

Drillbit? Do you know

why we come here every day?

It's because these businessmen

can't eat all their food.

They have more than they need.

These kids are a lot like

these businessmen, okay?

They have way more than they need.

It's our job to go into their houses

and take all their excess.

I get a kick out of these kids.

I told you that little fat one

says some funny sh*t.

I like these kids, too, man.

I mean, from what I gather,

they're some pretty cool dudes.

But if you like them,

you should think about helping them.

- lf you care about them.

- What do you mean?

Steal their TV.

Maybe they'll read a book.

Steal their iPod. Heck, I don't know.

Maybe they'll learn to play the piano.

They don't need all this crap.

You think Mozart had a Game Boy?

I didn't have it. Didn't hurt me.

I was outside playing, climbing trees.

Yeah, man, me, too.

I'm still outside hanging around in trees.

And the parents are never around.

There's no one there in the daytime.

One big hit. It's all we need.

Boobies.

Penis!

All right. Open your eyes, let your body

drift back into consciousness.

Namaste. Thank you for your practice.

That concludes the meditation time.

- Okay. How do you feel?

- I feel good.

- Doing all right?

- Yeah. I think my biceps are coming in.

Guns are coming in.

Now, listen.

We're about 10% done with the training.

- Next...

- 10%?

Are you high?

We can't sit in the woods anymore.

- We got to go back to school.

- Yeah, and I can't forge any more notes.

How many diseases can a kid have?

You guys think you're ready?

You know,

I am really scared to go back.

Look. If you're not ready to fight,

there is another alternative.

But I got to be honest with you,

only the strongest of warriors

can pull this one off.

It's so difficult that most men

tremble at its mere thought.

What is it?

What the hell is it?

Love him.

- What?

- Love him.

You know, I don't know

what's going through your head, Drillbit,

but I'm not gonna bang him.

When I'm talking about love,

I mean compassion.

- I'm not going to...

- Shut up. And understanding.

Find your commonality.

Let him know you're more alike

than different.

Maybe that'll put out his fuse.

And remember, guys,

just because you don't see me

doesn't mean I'm not there.

I'll be there like a silent,

deadly poltergeist.

- Thanks.

- Okay.

All right, see you later, Drillbit.

Remember, you're under my wing.

Oh, no.

There he is. Should we hide?

No. We've been running

and hiding all week.

This is what Drillbit's been

talking about, finding commonalities.

He's rapping. You love to rap!

You can do this!

No, I can't.

Yes, you can. It's just like in 8 Mile.

He'll respect you.

No, man, I'm afraid of him. I can't!

- You're crazy! Don't do it.

- You can do it, Ryan.

- I believe in you.

- Don't.

All right. I can do it. I can do it.

- Whassup, whassup?

- Whassup?

I wanna rap with you.

Hey, flip the script, Ronnie.

Hit that beat.

- Yo, this cool, Fil?

- Sure, whatever.

Yo, call me whatever you want

but you know I gets busy I'm so badass

I'm the king of Vice City

Like the Buddha, I'm Zen

Like Beckham, I bend, I tell suckers

"Say hello to my little friend"

Snap! This guy!

Hey, meatball, where's your spaghetti?

Your rapping's like a nightmare

But I don't see Freddy

You best

not even try to spit rhymes, dude

'Cause when you spit

all I ever see is chewed-up food

Yeah, that's how we roll!

That's how we do!

Hold on!

I know you didn't just go there

I got more skills than you

in my one and only nut hair

Nice, man, nice.

So you better step off

before you insult me and mine

'Cause if you decide to step on, see

I'm like a land mine

Boom!

Oh, my God, look

it's a punkass rapping

He say one more word

I'm gonna have to b*tch-slap him

So surprised you're moving

ass is so damn fat

You're lucky I don't hit you

with my Wiffle, Wiffle Ball bat

Can't hurt my head with a bat

I'm the Incredible Hulk

I'm like Costco

I'm serving ass kickings in bulk

You don't like my words

Mister King of the School?

Well, guess what?

You can suck on my family's jewels

B*tch!

That was awesome.

What have I just done?

Hey, that was amazing. I mean,

telling him to suck on

your two family jewels

was in questionable taste, but still...

I know, I got caught up

in the moment, okay?

Keep walking.

I don't want to get shot like Tupac.

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