Drillbit Taylor Page #7

I'm not scared of this.

... looks like this.

- I really like your suit.

- Yeah. I really like your everything.

Now what do we do?

Not many teachers

can afford a suit like that.

- Yeah?

- lf he wants to eat.

Well, I mainly eat out of a dumpster.

I should try that.

I need some new dresses.

Don't. Or if you do, stay away from

the one at Ocean and Wilshire.

That's mine. Seriously, stay out of it.

- What are we doing? Let's go.

- I don't know.

You're a bad boy.

- Maybe I need a detention.

- You're funny.

- I'm not joking.

- Me, either.

Look, I want nothing more

than to spend the rest of the day

sitting on this couch with you,

but I got to get to class because

my students need me. Okay?

No. You still have five minutes

before the next class.

We do?

And you seem like someone who could

accomplish a lot in five minutes.

I hope so.

Although five minutes

might be four too many.

Let's go, let's go!

We really like Life Skills.

Can we just stay in the room, maybe?

Why don't you practice

some life skills out here in the hallway?

It's just as important.

Okay, where is he?

This is bull. Maybe I should

just beat the crap out of you two.

There's Brooke!

Oh, no. There he is.

I think I'd better get...

When are you free? I want to see you.

- I have sixth period free.

- Sixth period? Okay.

I think I have that period free, also.

Why don't we meet back here? Okay?

- Okay.

- Meet me right here?

I'll keep the couch warm.

We better check the tags to make sure

this couch is flame retardant.

- I will.

- You know?

You know what I mean?

Flame retardant?

- Yes.

- 'Cause you're hot.

Where is Life Skills?

Drillbit, come in, please!

Where are you?

Drillbit, come in!

I don't know!

I can't understand Emmit's map!

- Go, go, go!

- Come on, Emmit. Come on.

- Crap!

- I knew Drillbit was a fraud.

- I told you!

- He's gonna be here!

Life Skills!

I need Life Skills!

Out of my way!

Open the door!

How is that up to code?

Excuse me!

Mordor Castle coming through!

Excuse me!

Mordor Castle coming through!

This is real! This is not a drill.

Everybody, clear the hall!

That means you! Let's go!

Clear the hall!

The freak actually came through, huh?

Awesome!

- Hoo-rah.

- Hoo-rah.

All right.

Mister Filkins!

Why don't you just come up

to the front of the class and read from

The Collected Works

of the Romantic Poets?

"I like kissing this and that of you

"I like slowly stroking the shocking fuzz"

Hey, aren't you the guy that

kicked Filkins' butt freestyling?

You better believe it.

They call me T-Dog.

- Wow, that's cool.

- He is so cute!

Wow.

Wade, this is Drillbit. Come in. Wade?

- Yeah?

- Filkins is heading east down the stairs.

The first stairwell. He's coming

down now. Watch your ass.

Read you. Copy. Roger.

F.Y. I., I just heard this pack of girls

yapping, and your girl, Brooke,

just got cast in Romeo and Juliet.

You might want to check that out.

Madam, madam, your lady mother

is coming to your chamber!

The day is broke, be wary, look about.

Come on! You're dogging it!

Faster! Faster!

Go! I want to see some more!

Go! Come on!

Let's go! Let's go! One more!

And you guys!

I don't want you just watching!

Do some bass fishing! Then reel it in!

Come on!

Let's go, keep going!

Work some thumbs!

For texting!

Look out, huh?

- How was school, Professor?

- It is great.

And as long as you got a coffee cup

in your hand, nobody says anything.

I was thinking

about writing a paper on...

- Hey!

- What the...

Coffee cup.

Now, Castro,

he knew that he was not gonna get

any action with Marilyn Monroe.

And that is why John F. Kennedy

was shot.

- Don!

- Hello, fellow teacher.

Come on, guys, hit the showers!

Look, my rope's too short.

I can't get down.

Where you going? Get back here!

- Yo, hold on!

- What is this?

Ronnie, let yourself down.

Happy birthday, Dr. Illbit

Happy birthday to you

Hey, T-Dog. You've got to admit

hiring Drillbit was a good idea.

- Okay, you're right.

- See?

The freak's actually worth all the money

we're spending on him, I guess.

Good morning.

- Great coffee this morning, Dr. Illbit.

- Enjoy it.

- You know, I really like it here.

- You're doing a great job, Drillbit.

I know I am.

Come here, come here, come here.

Okay, quick. Pop quiz. You like a girl.

You're completely shocked

that she likes you.

Things are already just crazy hot,

just loco.

But now you'd like to ask her out.

And you're not sure if

she's just in it for the sex.

And you haven't been

on a date in forever.

And you're a little bit afraid,

and you don't know

what the hell you're doing, anyway.

Well, I can't really relate to that,

but what I would do is just

join every club she's in

and eventually work up

the nerve to talk to her.

- And how's that working for you?

- Not at all.

Okay, look. One should do the opposite.

- Yeah, probably.

- Okay.

Congratulations, you just passed.

Hey, scram. Scram. Crotch blocker.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Look, you look pretty.

- Thank you.

You know,

I haven't been on a lot of dates,

and I really don't know the way

this is supposed to work,

because we kind of skipped that part.

But would you ever want to get together

after school and maybe hang out?

I'm sorry.

Rule 35A in the teacher's manual states

that you cannot date other teachers.

Oh, really. Yeah.

Probably a good policy.

Yeah.

So it's a good thing you're a doctor.

So, yes.

- I'll see you tonight?

- Okay.

The Battle of Sekigahara

when Kanetsugu mocked

Tokunaga's abuses,

which only infuriated Tokunaga

who then summoned Toyotomi

and united Japan.

And kept the local feudal lords

from warring.

Hey. What are you doing in this club?

I'm Asian.

He died. Then...

- No, you aren't.

- Yeah. A little bit.

Really?

- You don't even look a little Asian.

- Yeah, I know.

The West attacked first.

So how come I see you in, like,

so many activities I'm in?

Just... I joined some of the clubs

you were in because

I wanted to have a chance to talk to you.

Wakisaka, 990 men.

Ankokuji, 1,800 men.

So you're not Asian.

No.

Well, maybe somewhere way back.

Chosokabe, 6,600 men.

This is exciting, don't you think?

All these men.

Well, you can't quit now.

I'm gonna make you come

to all our meetings.

Membership is way down this year.

Okay. I can do that.

- Is everything okay at school?

- Yeah. Everything's fine. I'm busy.

Honey, I know there's a lot of pressure

on kids once they get to high school.

And there are kids who are gonna

want to be your friend,

but they'll also want you

to take their drugs.

I just noticed that you seem

to be out of money a lot lately,

and I want to make sure

you're not spending your money on that.

No! I'm not doing drugs, Mom.

I promise.

Coach says drugs are for losers.

You sure you're not high?

No!

Well, I notice you're really going

at your food.

- Got the munchies?

- Anyways, we just worry about you.

I understand that.

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