Drinksgiving Page #7

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Yep, yep, yep.

Okay so here's the master plan,

what time does dinner end at your house?

Like three-ish, three-ish.

Okay so three o'clock.

Jake, Jake,

what time does dinner usually start at your house?

Well late, there's a lot of divorces in my family,

there's crazy schedules.

Well then why don't you just come over for cocktail hour?

Like you don't have to do the whole dinner,

just go in between.

Are you sure, you don't need me like at dinner?

Oh god, no it's totally fine.

So if I left your place at like six

I can come to your place at like 6:30, yeah?

Dudes we can totally do that.

There you go.

- Hooray.

- Yay.

Good job team.

Jake do you, okay, do you want to come to cocktail?

I don't know if I want to ask you that.

Why?

Do you want to come to cocktail hour?

Oh, my god. Yes!

Oh, do I want to get away from my house for a little bit?

- Yeah please, thank you.

- You're welcome.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you, you can just follow me around

and be like schedule secretary.

No, no listen both of you keep your mitts off my man.

I saw him first.

What, don't bring him around if we can't...

- get your own.

- I'm gonna us shots.

- No that's not a good idea.

- Here we go shots.

No one here needs shots.

I think he does.

No, oh and speaking of no one

needing anything but perhaps some water.

Hi, oh good morning. Sunshine.

Oh, so, so pretty, this is not, no that's not happening, no.

Yep, hey let's go for a walk into the kitchen.

- Can you take pictures?

- It'll be so,

actually yes I will, come on it will be fun.

- Happy Drinksgiving.

- Happy Drinksgiving.

Oh, of course.

You're the prank caller, huh?

I should've f***ing known.

You are a jerk.

The call is coming from inside the house.

You think you're really funny huh, immature turd.

Oh yeah well let's see.

Have fun with this.

I will have plenty of fun with this.

Oh wait, wait, Sarah.

Sarah seriously.

Thank you for not putting this in your cooch.

- Lucas.

- Hey fellas.

- Man good to meet you.

- I as well.

- I as well.

- Hey.

Hey I heard you were in the movies.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, that's what I heard.

He's gonna be a big star.

That's my lady friend you're messing with there good sir.

No, no, no she's going home with me

so I can get my deposit back.

Okay, okay buddy no worries.

You think you're so cool

just because you've had simulated sex

with Shannon tweed.

Hell I've had simulated sex with Shannon tweed.

That doesn't make you cool at all.

I think I'm gonna have to take you down a notch or two.

Take it easy.

Hey!

Hey man, I think you need to sit down and relax okay?

Hey you, you don't get to tell me what to do.

Man I would love to beat your ass right now

but I'm not sure that Medicaid

would even cover the cost of your injuries.

Young man I don't think you really want to do this.

I know I seem like a pacifist but I have a dark side

that you do not want to tap into.

Buddy you don't even want to get into this right now.

Oh, you've just crossed the line now.

Hey.

Dude, you're old.

It's late, you're creeping people out

and that is coming from me.

I think the bus to Margaritaville does leave

and all right old guy?

But I want you to say goodbye and apologize to my friend.

I...

I'm good.

I apologize...

for my behavior

in this most recent interaction.

I hope we're good.

Yeah we're good.

I loved you in anal antiquity it was very nice.

All right.

Sarah, it was a hell of a party.

Thanks for not throwing me out.

Well technically that's what we're doing right now, it is.

Stop.

Mandy, Mandy wait up.

Wait up Mandy, you promised me a handy.

Mandy.

I didn't hit him.

That's actually impressive.

- I'm Buddhist now so.

- You've come a long way.

Happy Drinksgiving.

Happy Drinksgiving.

Your fault.

He's gonna first.

Oh Christ.

Hello?

Anybody here?

- Oh.

- Oh, my god.

- Oh, my god, you scared me.

- Sorry.

- I was just...

- That's embarrassing.

That's okay, you were dancing and then I was kind of watching

but I didn't want to interrupt the dancing.

Yeah uh-huh.

I didn't know you sang, it was good.

- I don't.

- No?

No.

It was good, you should sing.

Well I'm just here to get Jake.

Oh, he's still here?

I mean yeah he should be right?

Do you have water?

I'm gonna, sorry, excuse me.

Do you have water?

Oh.

Oh.

I'm the power man.

I really wanted to get here earlier but I went to work

and then you know went home to change

and I don't know time kinda got away from me.

It's all good, you're here now.

Thank you for helping me clean by the way.

Oh, yeah of course.

Nobody likes to wake up to a big mess right?

No.

So the party was a success?

Success would be a strong word.

I wouldn't really call it that.

I didn't really come up with

like a success measurement rubric though so.

Oh, I have one if you need it.

- Do you?

- Yeah.

Just when I have parties I hand out like

a questionnaire afterwards.

- Oh yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.

Just like, did you enjoy the party, you know?

On like a scale of one to ten

how would you rate your party experience?

Yes, what could we have done

to enhance your party experience?

Oh that one's good, mm-hm.

Oh, here's a good one, did you get food poisoning

at our party because someone probably did.

- Oh.

- Don't smell it.

- I smelled it.

- Oh.

Soak that.

I don't know I just thought I'd have

you know like an adult party this year,

not like stodgy or buttoned up but mature.

You know avoid the sh*t show that you see

at the bar most of the time.

Yeah, well, you can take the people out of the bar.

Speaking of are you going to be joining us tomorrow?

Oh probably.

I'm gonna have to go to two places tomorrow

so I think I'm gonna come

to you guy's house like tomorrow night.

- Cool.

- Yeah.

All right.

Well I hope so just for my sake you know.

Wouldn't feel like Thanksgiving without you so.

So, what is this?

That, so that's chili or actually chili ingredients.

This a**hole that I don't actually know

brought me stuff to make chili

and brought me a possibly working crock pot so.

Wow, okay...

Well I know what we need to do.

- With that?

- Mm-hm.

Oh, my god, that'll take all night.

No, stick it in the crock,

it'll be good by morning.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Bold plan.

I'm a bold man.

Oh, honey.

Sarah, I just wanted to,

oh, chili.

In the morning.

I just wanted to say that...

shh, we're good, we're good yeah.

Go to bed.

Woo, that was amazing.

Can we go to sleep yet?

You know you could join in.

Typical.

Hang on a second, he only lasts about two minutes.

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