Drop Dead Gorgeous Page #3

Iona's about to drop her tiara into a recycling bin.

IONA HILDERBRANTDT (cont'd)

Had to turn it in for scrap.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. MOLLY HOWARD'S LIVING ROOM

MOLLY HOWARD, a large white girl, sits between a JAPANESE

COUPLE, Mr. and Mrs. HOWARD.

SUPER:
CONTESTANT #5, MOLLY HOWARD

MR. HOWARD

(heavy accent)

... So we adopt Molly three year ago

when we come to America, to help

acclimate us to American.

MOLLY:

(smiling)

To America, Dad.

Mr. Howard laughs.

MRS. HOWARD

She all-American girl. She our

American Teen Princess girl.

MOLLY:

Oh, Mom...

The Howard's biological daughter (they renamed her

"TINA") ENTERS FRAME. Although she's the picture of

beauty, grace, talent and charm, she represents their old

life.

TINA:

(in Japanese)

Excuse me, Father, Mother, when are we

moving back to Tokyo? I can't stand

this place anymore. They put butter

on everything.

MR. HOWARD

(turning, suddenly angry)

English! English, you stupid little

retard! We America now, Tina!

TINA:

(perfect English)

I'm sorry, Dad, but with all due

respect, my name isn't "Tina," it's

Seiko.

MR. HOWARD

Tina! Tina!! TINA!!!

MRS. HOWARD

"Robert," settle down.

MR. HOWARD

(screaming)

AHHHHHH!

Mr. Howard suddenly grabs his chest.

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. MOLLY HOWARD'S LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Same scene. Mr. Howard is gone.

TINA:

Mom, I just finished the third

movement of that concerto I was

working on. I put, like, this techno

beat on this Japanese folk tune -

wanna hear it?

MR. HOWARD

(running down the hall)

No! We not like to hear it! Go to

your room and shut up!

TINA:

Oh, I almost forgot...

(removing envelope from

pocket)

I got my acceptance to Tokyo

University.

MR. HOWARD

What, you deaf? I say shut up-shut up-

SHUT UP!

(coming at camera)

Cut her outta this!

JUMP CUT TO:

INT. MOLLY HOWARD'S LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Same scene on couch.

MR. HOWARD

Now Molly, tell movie man what you

talent do.

MOLLY:

I'll be line dancin'.

MR. HOWARD

(giving thumbs up)

Country western!

MRS. HOWARD

Clint Black! Ruff!

MR. HOWARD

Hey, what he got I not got?

They all laugh.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - STAGE

CLOSE ON Michelle Johanson's face.

MICHELLE:

... Yah-I'll be performing a dramatic

monologue.

SUPER:
CONTESTANT #2, MICHELLE JOHANSON

MICHELLE (cont'd)

Right now, I'm thinkin' "Othello"

or...

"Soylent Green." Lots of girls make a

smooth transition from pageants into

actin', y'know.

SMASH CUT TO:

LOCAL TV COMMERCIAL (VIDEO)

CONNIE, mid-30's, Midwestern attractive, wearing a sash

and tiara, stands in front of a BLUE SCREEN of a FOREST.

CONNIE:

Competin' for the title of Minnesota's

American Teen Princess sure was

excitin'. But, I never coulda won

without my...

PULL BACK to reveal a table full of PORK PRODUCTS.

CONNIE (cont'd)

St. Paul Pork Products!

LOCAL TV COMMERCIAL (VIDEO)

SCREEN CHANGES to OUTSIDE FACTORY/STOCK YARDS. Connie

now wears a coat and hat and acts as if it's chilly.

CONNIE (cont'd)

I've been enjoyin' St. Paul Pork

Products for years. I grew up right

next to these stock yards.

SCREEN CHANGES to VIDEO of a SLAUGHTER LINE. PIG

CARCASSES move on hooks. Connie wears a hard hat and

blood stained butcher's apron.

CONNIE (cont'd)

It's still the same family-run

business that Walter and Vera Polarski

started in 1920 when they raised and

slaughtered their first pig.

Connie grabs a HOT DOG from O.C. and takes a bite.

CONNIE (cont'd)

Mmm-mmmm. I just love St. Paul Pork

Products. In fact, I love kem so much

LOCAL TV COMMERCIAL (VIDEO)

SLIDE CHANGES to VIDEO of the SAUSAGE LINE. Workers

stuff sausages. Connie wears a white jumpsuit and

hairnet.

CONNIE (cont'd)

I work here now!

INT. BETZ LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

MRS. BETZ, a large woman, holds a tray of bars. CREW

MEMBERS REACH IN THE SHOT and help themselves. JANELLE

BETZ sits on the couch, SIGNING EVERYTHING she says.

JANELLE:

(slow, due to signing)

...My talent will be an interpretive

dance while I sing, "Through the Eyes

of Love." I have a dream of spreadin'

sign language around the world... Mom?

Would you be so kind?

SUPER:
CONTESTANT #8, JANELLE BETZ

JANELLE (cont'd)

Yeah. Well, see, uh, I have a dream

of spreading sign language around the

world.

(to Mrs. Betz)

Mom, would you be so kind.

Mrs. Betz quickly puts down the bars and goes to the

piano where she starts "Through the Eyes of Love."

Janelle begins to gesticulate and sign words in an overly

dramatic performance that looks like a bizarre seizure.

SOUND occasionally DIPS OUT as the BOOM OPERATOR reaches

for bars.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - LATER

TAMMY CURRY - a cute, jock-type. She wears a LETTER

JACKET, covered with VARSITY SPORTS PATCHES.

TAMMY CURRY:

Tammy Curry. I'm signin' up for the

scholarship'n'all.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM

She POINTS to VARIOUS PATCHES on her LETTER JACKET.

TAMMY CURRY (cont'd)

...This one's for Varsity Soccer, uh,

I'm captain.

(pointing)

I run track, and, uh...

(points to small gun patch)

Right here, I'm the new President of

the Lutheran Sisterhood Gun Club...

ANGLE ON:

LSGC PRESIDENT logo patch.

TAMMY CURRY (cont'd) (O.S.)

I love that one.

EXT. FARM FIELD

Shot from crew van. Sun is setting behind a lovely field

of green. A John Deere Thresher travels across the

burning red horizon.

DOCUMENTARIAN (V.O.)

Would you say you have a good chance

to win this pageant?

SUPER:
CONTESTANT #9, TAMMY CURRY

TAMMY (V.O.)

Yeah, you bet I do. I mean, maybe

other people think I can't win a

beauty pageant. But other people

didn't think I could beat out Becky

Leeman for President of the gun club,

either. And I did. I-I-It's just

like Anthony Robbins says, "I'm a

winner. Nobody can stop me but me!"

KABLOOM! Tammy's John Deere thresher BLOWS UP!

INT. LUTHERAN CHURCH BASEMENT - KITCHEN AREA - NIGHT

CLOSE ON framed school photo of Tammy Curry. PULL BACK

to see her letter jacket - scorched and torn (Lutheran

Gun Club patch is MISSING) - and flowers. CONTINUE

PULLING BACK to reveal both are surrounded by buns, bars

and coffee on a long buffet table. A line of somber and

repressed Lutherans help themselves to the food.

Servettes stand at the ready. Gladys and Iris face the

camera.

GLADYS:

Well, you know, I think everyone's

doing really well considering the fact

that she was so young.

IRIS:

It's always hard to see the young ones

called home, especially on an

exploding thresher. It's just so odd

and gross.

GLADYS:

You know that sometimes it's hard to

understand God's great plan.

IRIS:

Yeah.

Iris pats Gladys on the shoulder.

FEMALE MOURNER #1

May I have a tissue?

GLADYS:

But the show must go on.

(she faces Iris)

I gotta get a hold of Ted and ask him

if we can use that barn light as a

spot again. So you watch the Jell-o

salad, okay?

IRIS:

All right. Okay.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GYM - LATER

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