Duck Soup Page #15

snarling wolves at the door.)

CUT TO - INTERIOR enemy headquarters. The booming of distant

guns comes over the scene. Trentino is there with a Sylvanian

general.

General

Something must be done immediately. The soldiers are getting

discouraged.

Trentino

There's only one thing to do... we must capture Firefly.

General

But how? It's a very dangerous undertaking.

Trentino

(Standing near widow)

Ask for volunteers. Some one must make the sacrifice --

someone --

(Stops to gaze out of window attracted by

off scene roar of motor)

Here comes Chicolini. Maybe he'll do it.

(Walks away from window)

Unless we can make Firefly our prisoner, we're lost.

(Chico enters. Trentino rushes over to him)

Trentino

Chicolini, you've come just in time. We need a man who's fear-

less, brave. A man who's willing to die, if necessary.

Chico

All right -- I'll go out and find one.

Trentino

Firefly must be captured at any cost.

Chico

That's easy, I'll get him for you wholesale.

Trentino

It must be done right away.

Chico

I can't do it right away.

General

Why not?

Chico

I got a date with a General's wife.

General

Isn't that a little dangerous?

Chico

(To General)

Not unless you find it out.

CUT TO:

Interior of Groucho's headquarters. Groucho is on his

feet addressing five or six generals, who are seated. Zeppo is

at the desk writing the minutes of the meeting.

Groucho

Boys, I hate to do this, but if you generals want this war to

continue you'll have to take a cut --

(Bursting of a shell is heard right outside of shack.

Groucho rushes to the window, opens it, fires a shot

from his revolver through the window, hurriedly shuts

it, then rushes back to Generals)

Groucho

We can't afford to pay the money we've been paying. Now I don't

want to lay anybody off. My motto in this war is: - "Live and

let live".

(The bursting of another shell is heard right outside

of shack. Groucho rushes to the window, opens it,

turns his back to window, takes out a pocket mirror,

holds it up in front of him and shoots over his shoul-

der out of window, taking his aim from the reflection

in the mirror, like a trick marksman. As Groucho

walks away from window, he hears another explosion out-

side. He rushes back to the window, takes a package

of small firecrackers out of his pocket, detaches one

of the firecrackers, lights it from his cigar and

throws it out of the window. A very small explosion

is heard. Groucho hurriedly shuts the window and

rushes back to the generals, as we - CUT TO:

THE OUTSIDE - A LONG SHOT of a dirigible (miniature) --

then we go to a CLOSE UP of the dirigible. On the

bag, in large letters, is printed --

SYLVANIA:

G-62

The CAMERA PANS DOWN to the cabin of the dirigible.

Chico and Harpo are standing at the open door looking

down.)

Chico

Look! That's-a Firefly's headquarters.

(Pointing down)

We catch him right now.

(Harpo reaches back into the cabin, picks up an enor-

mous hook and throws it out. The rope that is at-

tached to the hook starts playing out rapidly.

CUT TO --

LONG SHOT (miniature of dirigible and rope dangling

from it)...

Then CUT TO - SHOT of rope and hook as it approaches

Groucho's headquarters. It hooks onto the roof of

the shack and raises it off the ground. CUT TO -

LONG SCOT - (miniature of dirigible carrying the

shack through the air.)

CUT TO - inside of headquarters.

Groucho

(To generals)

Gentlemen, the overhead is killing us. Everything is going up.

If we don't watch ourselves, we'll come down with a crash.

Now -- all those in favor of taking a cut say "aye"...

One General

(Protesting)

But Your Excellency!

Groucho

Carried unanimously.

(CUT TO - SHOT of dirigible carrying the shack.

The shack just clears a steeple by a few inches.

CUT TO - INSIDE of headquarters.)

Groucho

Now go right out there and fight.

(To one general)

You go out there and relieve General Beauregard, and while

you're at it, see what General Motors is doing.

(The general, without saluting, exits out of door and

closes door behind him.)

Groucho

(To another general)

Call him back -- he didn't salute me.

(The second general exits out of door without saluting,

closing door behind him.)

Zeppo

Father, he didn't salute you either.

Groucho

(Angrily)

Attention!

(The remaining generals jump to their feet, stand at

attention and salute.)

Groucho

Go out there -- all of you -- and bring those generals back --

dead or alive.

(All of the generals exit through to door; the

last one closing door behind him.)

Groucho

Why don't those generals come back?

Zeppo

I'll call them.

Groucho

Never mind, I'll go after them myself.

(Groucho goes to door, pulls it open, starts out --

CUT TO -

EXTERIOR OF SHACK (against sky backing).

Groucho is seen in the open doorway. He comes out

and walks down the steps (there are three steps

attached to entrance of door, with railing on each

side. Groucho is about to step off into space. He grabs

the railing and hangs by his hands.)

Groucho

Hey, Junior!

(Zeppo rushes to door and pulls him up by the hands.

CUT TO -

Inside as Zeppo finishes pulling Groucho in. Groucho

scrambles to his feet, rushes to window, leans out of

window backwards and looks up.

CUT TO -- SHOT of dirigible as seen by Groucho.

CUT BACK inside of shack as Groucho pulls in his

head.)

Groucho

Get my rifle.

(Zeppo runs for rifle...)

Groucho

I'll get rid of them.

(Zeppo returns and hands rifle to Groucho. Groucho

leans out of the window backwards and shoots up into

the air... CUT TO - dirigible (miniature) as the bag

explodes. The smoke fills the screen. As the smoke

clears away we see Groucho and Zeppo descending side

by side in two parachutes (against sky background.)

Groucho

(To Zeppo)

Take a letter.

(Zeppo takes out pad and pencil)

Zeppo

To whom?

Groucho

To whom it may concern... Dear Gloria: The air has done me a

world of good. I am five thousand feet above sea level speeding

home to you. Can you arrange to meet me at twenty-five hundred

feet? -- which is only asking you to meet me half way. Don't

be surprised if I drop in on you any minute... Your fun-loving

Dictator.

(Groucho and Zeppo descend out of scene, as Harpo and

Chico come into scene from above, both suspended

from the ropes of their parachutes... They are in a

sitting position, with a board across their knees,

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