Due West: Our Sex Journey Page #4

my good friend Wong Jing.

Actually, we kept in touch

through the years.

He'd been up to Shenzhen

a lot for work since graduating

I don't know what weird

things he'd been eating,

but it's like he hit

another cycle, filling out

into someone tall and handsome.

Pick up girls on the mainland?

Don't think about how far it is.

What we need is to establish

a one-hour swingers club.

One-hour swingers club?!

Simple words that started filling me

with hope and vision.

Such a club would not only

be good for the economy,

but also for the exchange of resources

and cultures between the

North and the South.

Being single

with nothing holding me back,

I decided this was a journey worth taking!

This way.

Sir? Over here.

We already booked a sofa.

So why are we standing over here?

Since you got here a bit late,

we had to give it to our

frequent customers.

That sofa over there is clearly available.

Same as you, late.

Look, if you can scratch my back,

I can scratch your back.

- And what's that mean?

- See what you can do.

If you would...

Right this way.

Here you are.

Beer.

Good. Two dozen to start, then.

Are you kidding me?

How can he do that!

It's just not right.

You can't pinch pennies

when you're out to have fun.

Especially here.

They're coming.

Introduce yourselves.

Hi, I'm Frankie.

Hi, uh, Funky? I'm Dorothy.

What? Dolphin?

I'm Jeekalin.

- Jeekalin...

- Yamade.

"Yamade" is a name?

Why not "Kimochi"?

How about a drink? Beer?

These were girls Jing picked up before.

Frankly, they're not much to look at,

with hair and makeup all about the same.

And by the time I hit the toilet.

I couldn't tell one from the other.

But those racks.

They definitely left an impression.

Is it the artificial bread,

the weight-loss pills,

or the contaminated fish they eat

that messes with their DNA?

Most HK girls have tits

you can barely pinch.

But these b*obs?

I just want to grab them!

We're separated by just one river,

but what a difference!

All I can say is,

"Different regions, different grapes."

We're out of drinks. Waiter!

Two bottles of Matisse

and a dozen green teas!

One Long Island Iced Tea, Martini.

They can hardly say their

own English names,

but when it comes to

drinks, they might even

be more accurate than native speakers.

If they just used cocktails

as their names

they'd be much better off.

It's my turn, ten!

Let me play, come on...

You asked for it!

Ready... ten!

Fifteen.

My turn, ready?... ten!

Fifteen.

Ready... all open! Drink up!

Why play with her when she always loses?

Let's play in a group.

Drink up! You lost again!

So arrogant.

Yeah. What of it?

Keep drinking.

Hey, Jeekalin,

I think you should change your name

to Black Russian.

Then it would actually sound

right when you say it.

What? Don't be stupid.

Let's go "dang-sing."

Yeah, he's crazy.

Seriously,

I'm fine if your chicks want to

fill up the table with drinks.

But do they think we're fools?

That this is some kind of open bar

for wine-tasting?

Remember:
When you're out to play,

you're only out to play.

What's that supposed to mean?

I never ask the girl's number

when I get a happy ending massage.

When downloading porn,

I delete it as soon as I've watched it.

Think about what I'm telling you.

Jing is really quite reckless.

He treats emotions as carelessly

as he spends money.

Could it be that I have

something to learn from him?

Zeta:
Be strong (: P)

You can't worry so much when you're out.

How else can you forget the past.

I had no response for that.

A seasoned veteran with

years of experience,

Jing knew me better than ever before.

Who would bring a Polaroid to a disco?

They had me thinking that the photographer

Yasumasa Yonehara was here.

But a closer look revealed Hong Kong guys

with less than discerning taste.

The way they were holding those dogs

reminded me of economist

Paul Samuelson's theory of Happiness

equaling Utility divided by Desire.

Did I just have my sights set too high?

Or must I lower my standards when I'm out

in order to be happy?

I believe in you.

Have patience and you'll get there.

This snide remark

was the second time I wanted to hit Jing.

The first time was after going camping.

But as a long time Arsenal fan,

I'd long learned to have patience.

After that time, we went up to Shenzhen

nearly every week to have fun.

But in all actuality,

we were going up for nothing.

That Saturday, Jing and I went up again.

It was raining cats and dogs that night,

a night I'll never forget.

During those months, I realized that

the disco was a very straightforward place.

No matter if you were looking

for a one night stand,

if you're giving or getting, it's the same.

There's no beating about the bush.

Unlike trying to get a normal girl.

Ever heard of the five-second rule?

It means that if two strangers

exchange a look for more than five seconds,

something important is going to happen.

Of course, you have to be smart

about the other person,

or else you could be in for a beating.

The magic of her gaze

could have pulled me in,

regardless of a beat-down.

And just when I couldn't come up

with a good ice-breaker...

Can I come to your table?

Absolutely...

I mean, sure you can.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Am I... intruding here?

No.

Go on, don't worry about us.

I don't usually come here,

so I'm a little out of place.

My friend had me come out

to keep her company,

but she's not here, yet.

Oh, I see.

If you told me you were a virgin,

I'd still believe you!

Oh, I still haven't introduced myself.

My name is Frankie.

My name is Fish, you know,

the swimming kind...

Fish, such a cute name. It suits you.

Who uses a name like Fish these days?

Idiotic, really.

Cheers!

Actually, my friend had a breakup today.

She called me over to keep her company.

So here I am.

But it's no fun here.

Some friend, leaving you hanging this way.

But don't worry. I can take her place.

What kind of work do you do?

I'm in sales.

After drinking and talking,

Turns out she's from the countryside, but

has been in Shenzhen for a few years.

She opened up a boutique with a friend

and came here after work to meet her.

I really should thank her friend

for her breakup and being late.

You're out on a Saturday night.

Doesn't your boyfriend mind?

Actually...

There's no friend with a breakup.

I'm the one who got dumped.

I'm really, really, really upset. So...

Could you keep me company tonight?

At first, I had doubts if the four words

"keep me company tonight" meant

what I thought she was hinting at.

Actually, I don't really like it here.

But her body language...

How about we go back to my place?

Reassured me.

Won't it be inconvenient

or a bother to your family?

I live alone.

You can stay with me tonight.

Sometimes it's hard to believe

when Luck knocks on your door.

I could still hardly believe it myself.

In that situation,

how could I refuse?

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