Duets Page #7

Smokey Robinson.

- You know it.

- Sure.

It was one

of our favorites.

Music is

played for love

Cruisin' is

made for love

Hey, why'd you come

to Donna's funeral?

Look, um, you know,

I don't wanna get into it.

I mean, I just feel like

we're circling the inevitable.

What does that mean?

Well, you have this childlike dream

that we're always gonna be together.

It's an unrealistic

fantasy.

I mean, it's just not

who I am. I'm sorry.

You know, you are so busy

pushing people away and trying

to be something that you're not,

that when something real fnally comes

into your life, you can't deal with it.

Well, I am here. I am alive.

I am your daughter.

Whether you want to take responsibility

for it or not, it's a fact.

I mean, what kind of person doesn't

acknowledge his own child?

I'm not asking you

for the moon.

I am asking you

for a hand,

to reach out,

and you can't even do that.

And you feel sorry for me?

I feel sorry for you.

- [Water Running]

- [Knocking]

[Faucet Squeaks,

Water Stops]

[Knocking]

Todd?

Jesus.

What are you doing?

- Talk to your wife, man, not to me.

- No.

I wanna talk to you. What the hell

do you think you're doing?

Trying to save

your life.

I love you, man.

Are you gay, Todd?

- Is that what's happening?

- No, Mrs. Woods, we're not gay.

- [Chuckles]

- Your husband has been kind to me.

He's been a friend.

- But now he's headed down this path.

- Oh, that's right.

That's right. A path.

For once in my life, it's a real path.

It's not some cheap, plastic

corporate illusion of a path.

It's a real path to the real meaning

of the real truth.

You know, I have actually

computed in my head...

the odds of getting

the same rental car twice...

in a lifetime

of business travel,

and do you know what they are?

Do you know

how many actual...

sense memories I have of being

in the same off-white...

Chevy Caprice

from the Alamo people...

in the Dallas-Fort Worth area

alone?

No.

It would blow your mind.

[Sniffling]

It's nothing either one of you people

can obviously ever comprehend.

I don't know

what's going on, Todd,

but I'm frightened.

Don't be frightened,

Mrs. Woods.

Nothing's happened that can

come back to haunt you,

- if he stops now.

- Stops what?

Huh? Who are you?

I'm a friend.

Oh.

Your husband has made

an error in judgment.

I would be pleased

to take all the blame.

For what?

Todd, what is going on?

I'm getting really confused here,

and I don't get it.

- Because I ask you...

- I say we take the country back

from the McDonalds...

and the Pizza Huts

and the Wendys.

I say we tear down all those strip malls

and we get back in touch...

with the inner core.

Oh, my God, Todd!

Would you be cool?

- Wha...

- Be cool.

[Sniffling]

I gotta go.

Why?

You just got here.

Did I say something

that offended you?

You're just

plain insane.

I'm just a little tired

of the American Dream.

Hello, everybody. Are you

ready to rock the house?

[People Cheering, Shouting,

Whistling, Applauding]

Okay, welcome to

Omaha, Nebraska.

You've all qualifed to sing

here tonight from just about

every state in the Union,

and the winner

gets to take home $5,000.

- [Cheering, Applause]

- Are you excited? I am... I am excited.

It should be an amazing night.

So let the games begin.

- [Loud Cheering, Whistling]

- Whoo!

[Scatting]

For the frst time

in history

It's gonna start

rainin' men

- Start rainin'men

- It's rainin' men

At break of day

when that man drove away

I was waiting

I crossed the street

to her house

And she opened

the door

She stood there laughing

- Hi. You a contestant?

- Yeah, Ricky Dean.

- My daughter set me up earlier.

- Yep. I got you down.

You go on in about

20 minutes, okay?

- Will you be using your own CD?

- Not tonight.

- Can I see your menu?

- Sure.

- My Delilah

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

- Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. Sorry about that.

- Oh!

It's okay.

["Strangers In The Night"

Playing]

Up to the moment

when we said our first hello

Little did we know

Love was just

a glance away

A warm embracing

dance away

And ever since

that night

- We've been together

- Hey.

- Lovers at first sight

- Hi.

- Hi.

- In love forever

- Uh, we bumped into

each other in the lobby.

- I know.

- It turned out so right

For strangers

in the night

Doo-bee doo-bee doo

Doo doo doo dee doo

Da dee da dee da

da dee da da dee da

- An angel just passed.

- What's that?

My mom used to say that when

nobody talked for a minute...

that an angel just passed.

Oh.

- Are you gonna sing?

- Me? No. No, no, no.

I don't know how

to sing. I mean...

Everybody knows how to sing,

it's just I'm not good at it.

Oh, come on.

I bet you're just being modest.

[Hostess]

Let's bring out our next singer.

All right. Are you guys

ready for the song stylings...

of Miss Suzi Loomis?

[Cheering, Whooping,

Whistling]

Suzi Loomis? No?

Suzi Loomis.

[Hostess]

Going once. Suzi Loomis going twice.

- Nope?

- Would you excuse me?

- We'll give you a chance

to come up here.

- Yeah.

- In the meantime,

let's just move down the list.

- Okay.

You kids ready?

Yeah? Okay.

Let's bring out

Tonia and Hobie Kasper.

Bom bom bom bom

bom bom bom bom bom

Bom bom bom bom bom bom

Ba ding-a-ding ding

- Blue moon

- Blue, blue, blue, blue moon

[Coughing]

[Coughing]

[Exhaling]

- [Sniffling]

- They called your name.

Are you all right?

[Chuckles]

Can't you tell?

[Gasping]

You're sick?

[Sniffling]

Scared shitless.

Ugh.

You were right, you know?

I'm the loser.

[Sniffling]

I was just too dumb to notice.

You happy?

Now, go away and let me

die in peace, please.

You know, I was

gonna be a priest.

[Laughing]

Really, I was. Black robe

and the collar, the whole deal.

I was, uh... I was about

to graduate the seminary.

Yeah... I don't know

what happened. I don't.

Ever since I was a kid,

I believed that there was some

greater purpose for my life.

You know? I-I thought it was

my calling to help people.

- It's such a crock. It's a crock.

- No.

My third-grade teacher said the world's

a sewer and we're all living in hell.

Wow. Tough class.

Listen.

I-I'm always gonna believe

the world's beautiful...

and people are

basically decent.

And if that's gonna keep me

from ftting in,

then I'd rather go through this whole

life like a complete and utter retard,

rather than have to accept

somebody else's miserable reality.

Do you know

what I mean?

Do you wanna

help me up?

Yeah.

[Grunting]

Where do you think they think

we're gonna put the TVs...

if they weren't bolted

to the furniture?

- You got me.

- Yeah.

[Chuckling]

You look great.

Good. 'Cause I

wanna win tonight.

- I want the fve thou.

- Me too.

- Ah, I don't think you're up to it.

- What are you talkin' about?

No, it would be funny,

us not doing a duet.

Pretty night tonight.

I'm really sorry

about what happened.

He shouldn't have shot at us.

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