Dunston Checks In Page #5

Dunston's in this room right now!

Oh, great move! You were supposed

to keep him upstairs.

You won't believe what just happened.

Rutledge got me,

and I found this in his room.

Look at it.

All right.

Let's find Dad.

(dog barks)

I saw a turtle one time,

looked like a Volkswagen with a tail.

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Could you do something about the dog?!

- What are you "both" doing here?

- Dad, you better take a look at this.

It's a picture of Lord Rutledge

and two monkeys.

I was just telling Lord Rutledge

he should visit one of our other fine hotels.

- How are the mints?

- I beg your pardon?

On your pillow at night. You like the mints?

- Bloody thing!

- We need new mints.

My God... He is thorough.

Hello, Dunston.

Will you please...

Lord Rutledge.

Ah... Mrs. Dellacroce.

Looking for something?

Lost youth.

I'm in room 812.

Bye, darling.

He tied you up?!

Yes. And he'll hurt Dunston if he finds him.

Please, Dad. You've gotta help him.

OK. OK.

You guys, you split up, you find the monkey,

and you take him upstairs to the apartment.

I'm gonna take care of Lord Rutledge.

- "(barks)"

- He's in there, Fang?

- "(barks)"

- All right. As you were.

How can these women wear fur?

I think everyone should know how they

bludgeoned and tortured the poor animals.

That is why I always carry pictures

of the process.

That is how they do it

to poor little bunny rabbits.

Oh, this is horrifying.

Why can't we treat all creatures

with kindness and respect?

Pig!

Can I help you with something, son?

I'm looking for a "Pongo pygmaeus".

If I catch you looking

at my wife's "Pongo pygmaeus" once more,

I'm gonna break you in half.

Right.

- "(woman gasps)"

- Hi. How you doin'?

Ah...

Oh, the baby quiche. I love these.

Lovely. My mother used to make these.

She did. They're incredible.

Ah...

Shrimp boat!

Thank you.

There's a monkey head in my lap!

A big, hairy monkey!

Monkey head! Monkey head!

What are all you people staring at me for?

You think I'm crazy, don't you?

Well, I swear it was a monkey head.

I know a monkey head when I see one!

There's a monkey head in there.

God, it's happening again!

Ole.

Monkey head! Monkey head!

Why is everyone in this hotel

always slapping me?!

"(sobbing)" It wasn't my fault

the sea monkeys died!

The party's over, Dunston.

(Mr. Spalding sobs on)

- Do something.

- Do it yourself!

Sorry.

I'm going to give you a sporting chance.

I'm going to count to three.

I think you are slightly outnumbered.

One!

Two...

Three.

Dunston, run!

Dunston! Let's get outta here.

Come on, let's go, go, go, go, go!

Dunston?

(ninja shouts)

No, no, no!

- That's the Chateau Lafitte.

- Oh.

Good year.

Arh!

No, no, let me assure you,

everything is just fine.

(loud crash)

- "(yelling)"

- Just fine.

We take great pride

in our beverage selection,

and it seems one of our guests

selected one too many beverages.

Aarhhhh!

Aarh!

(chuckles)

Let's not let, you know,

such a tiny little incident

spoil such a wonderful evening.

And let me assure you

there is no monkey in this hotel.

A monkey!

Shoot him.

No! Don't shoot him!

That's coming out of your check.

Now, come on, do what you do.

I want him dead.

No, stuffed!

Teach him to come into my hotel!

Come on! Shoot him!

Hyah!

Arh!

Whoa.

(chuckles)

You!

Aarh!

- Good show.

- Thank you.

Watch the birdie.

- So, am I still grounded?

- "(strained voice)" That's my boy.

And "this" is for tying up my kid.

Aarrh!

All right, Dad!

Oh, well.

You did this!

You brought that monkey into my hotel.

You've been nothing but trouble

since your daddy started working here!

You little spoiled brat!

Argh!

Aah!

Ooh!

Ah!

This is your fault!

You and those children!

- Mrs. Dubrow.

- What?

Have you tried the cake?

You're...

fired!

Go home and burn your resumes,

because you'll never work

in the hotel business again!

Don't you walk away from me!

I'm still firing you!

Mrs. Dubrow, I'm Lionel Spalding

from the "Le Monde" Travel Organization.

Congratulations.

You've managed to go

from a five-star hotel...

to a one-star hotel.

Good night.

Aarh!

Get your hands off me!

Terrible misunderstanding.

I'm utterly innocent,

as will be revealed by my lawyers

as soon as I get to a pay phone.

Dunston! How could you?!

(blows raspberry)

Dunston! Really!

May I call you Dunston?

I'm really, really sorry.

I was just trying to do my job.

It was nothing personal.

Do you believe me?

I deserved that.

(snores)

You know, I've never attacked

another human being in my entire life.

Now I've dropped two in the same day.

- So how did it feel?

- Great.

You do realize we'll probably

end up living in a Motel 6.

Yep.

Sounds pretty good to me.

Hello, Dunston.

Nice to officially meet you.

Dad, can we?

No, we can't.

- We can't.

- Please? He can stay in my room.

I'll take good care of him.

Kyle, listen to me.

Dunston can stay with us tonight,

but tomorrow we've got to find

another place for him.

(whimpers)

It's a really nice zoo.

No one will be mean to you or anything.

And you'll have friends.

No. Monkey friends.

I'm not sure where I'll be, but I'll try

to come and visit you whenever I can.

(knock on door)

It's them.

Mr. Dubrow?

Morning, Kyle.

Where's Mrs. Dubrow?

Scouting hotel sites in Alaska.

We've come to see your father.

So, what do you think?

I want you to stay.

This is the finest hotel in the

entire chain.

Yes, it is.

This is everything I've ever dreamed of

doing. And now I've done it.

I think I'd like a position...

that's a little less demandingon my time.

Let me see what I can do.

Mr. Dubrow, you know lots of people, right?

Why do you ask?

I have this friend

who's sort of in need of a favor.

Lionel Spalding...

and Neil.

Welcome to the Bali Majestic, Mr. Spalding.

The manager has been expecting you.

Mr. Spalding, I can't tell you how pleased

I am that you accepted our invitation.

Particularly after those rather unfortunate

circumstances back in New York.

But, as you can see,

we are far, far away from there right now.

And my family and I are dedicated

to making your stay here at the

Bali Majestic

as uneventful and trouble-free

as is humanly possible.

Your room and meals are complimentary,

and if you'd like me to arrange a line of

credit in the casino, I'd be happy to.

You may hear some of our native islanders

out and around the bushes.

There's nothing to worry about.

I guarantee there will be no further

incidents to deal with.

- Uh, Dad...

- If you need anything, pick up the phone...

- Dad...

- Just a moment, Kyle.

One of the things I want to tell you about

is the Bali Hai buffet,

which we offer every day

at breakfast and lunch.

No!

THE END:

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