Eagle vs Shark Page #4

- What are you doing?

- Nothing. I'm asleep.

- Why don't you go sleep in the tent?

- Ah, I'm alright.

You go in the tent.

I'll sleep out here.

No, you go.

You go. You're the lady.

I can handle it.

I've got my sleeping bag. I'm good.

You don't complain about anything,

do you?

Well, there's some people in the world

who don't even have sleeping bags.

There's a weird smell down there.

I don't like it.

Think it's probably

a dead hedgehog or something.

Disgusting.

If you get cold,

you can come sleep in my tent.

But please, don't wake me up.

It's the last thing I need.

You seem to be getting on

pretty well with my family.

I told you, I like them.

Yeah, well...

don't get too close.

They'll turn on you, that's for sure.

What was that joke

you told them?

Just my favorite.

One of Damon's.

Can you tell it to me?

No.

- Oh, what are you doing?

- Nothing.

You sucker, you better watch out.

You fool.

Yeah, hey fool. Hey fool.

Sucker.

You foolish, foolish sucker.

- Better wa...

- Hello.

- Hello, is Eric there, please?

- Speaking.

Hey sucker.

Who is this?

This is the piper.

And I want to be pied.

Paid. Paid.

Who's this?

- It's Jarrod.

- Who?

- Lough.

- Who?

Jarrod Lough.

We went to school together.

- Did we?

- Yes.

- I assume you got my letter.

- No. What letter?

Invitation.

- To a party?

- To a fight.

- What fight?

- Our fight.

Hold on. Hold on.

Alison!

Is there any mail for me?

Oh, yeah. There's something here.

It's a letter. Should I open it?

Yes. I'll call you back.

It's long.

- Hello.

- Hi, it's Jarrod.

- Oh, hey there, man.

- Did you read it?

- Yeah, look man. I'm sorry, you know...

- You will be sorry. You will be.

Meet me, 3 pm at the school playground.

We're gonna have a fight.

- Now look, I...

- No you look and listen.

You better be on that playground

on Saturday.

I'm gonna be there

ready to fight you.

And if you don't turn up,

everyone's gonna know you're a p*ssy.

- Because I'm gonna tell them, fool.

- Alright. I'll be there.

- Okay.

- Yep.

- Good.

- Alright.

That's all. See you later.

You're going too fast.

Jarrod!

Jarrod!

Are you alright?

Help me up.

Get this bike off me.

What happened?

I had an accident.

Some chick in a Trans Am.

Reckless b*tch.

- What are you guys up to?

- Nothing. Walking.

Oh, yeah.

Dad, do you want to come with me?

We could hang out and train.

Lily and I are doing something.

Okay, cool.

Well,

I'll see you guys later then.

Have a good day.

Who does he think he is?

You were right to break up

with him.

No, I didn't break up with him.

He broke up with me.

Oh well, you would've.

Given time.

- Take me away from here.

- Where?

Anywhere.

Help me escape.

Okay.

Where shall we go?

Where do you wanna go?

Home.

I wanna go home.

Oh, home's horrible.

You must wanna go somewhere else.

Dunno. Be Australia.

Na, not there.

My ex-wife lives there.

What? Is she alive?

Who cares about her?

She's a lesbian.

Okay, don't put the blade out.

Wow!

- Wow.

- Stop the press.

- We've got a fashion model in the house.

- Yeah.

- Is that the makeup you got from us?

- Yep.

- And your skin's alright?

- Yep.

Why?

- We were just wondering.

- Oh, nothing.

I was wondering if perhaps I could

potentially still come to that party?

Sure.

Thank you.

Is this sort of appropriate?

I just don't really have

any sort of party gears.

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

- Lily!

Did you have a nice time

f***ing my friend Mason Hutchinson?

What?

Did you have a nice time

f***ing my friend Mason Hutchinson?

Or did you do everyone

at the whole party?

I didn't do anyone.

Anyway what do you care?

You've got Tracy.

We're not even going out.

We haven't even kissed.

Could've if I wanted to,

but I've been too busy training.

Where did you sleep last night?

In the bushes.

Great. Meanwhile, I'm up all night

wondering where the hell you are.

I thought you were dead. You could've

left me a note or something.

It's easy, " Dear Jarrod,

don't wait up all night long.

I'll be sleeping in the bushes.

Thank you".

I didn't get any sleep last night

and you know it's my big day.

What am I going to tell

your brother?

"Oh, yeah. Hi, Damon,

your sister, Lily...

Na... Oh, she went to a party

and got killed.

Here's a bit of her leg,

that's all that's left.

You should be more careful

next time...

because I'm not gonna be there

to wait up for you.

Gotta go.

- Are you ready for your fight?

- Yes.

I'm gonna cut his damn head off.

Not that you'll be there.

You'll probably be off

having sex with heaps of people.

I'll think about it.

Can you remind my dad to come?

Because he might forget.

Hi, this is Michael Jackson.

- Damon, it's Lily.

- Lily.

I tried to call.

How's it going down there?

It's been pretty weird.

Do you want to come home?

I can come and get you if you like.

Oh, no, no. It's too far.

I'll just catch a bus.

You sure?

I can leave right now.

Yeah, no, no. It goes tomorrow.

I'll be home in time for tea.

I'll make your favorite...

Shepherd's Pie?

Oh, yum.

You gonna be okay?

Yeah. It's just really nice

to hear your voice.

Okay.

Well, I'm right here, okay?

- Yeah, I know.

- Well...

You have a shaggadelic day baby,

yeah!

- Do behave.

- Yeah. Bye.

Bye.

Gordon jumped off that.

Look at it, sticking up there

like a bloody tombstone.

It was so wonderful when he won.

I just wanted...

him to keep on doing better,

you know, to keep winning.

Maybe that's why he did it,

because of me.

I'll never know now.

My whole life

is a complete disaster.

You know...

life is...

full of hard bits, I think.

But...

in between the hard bits

are some...

really lovely bits.

I mean, Jarrod's a lovely bit.

Jarrod?

Yep.

Jarrod?

Yeah.

- I just don't think you know him.

- Yes, I do. I know my family.

Better than you do.

Oh, what's Jarrod's

favorite animal then?

- A giraffe.

- No.

- An octopus.

- No.

- Well, a cheetah then.

- No.

It's an eagle.

Okay.

Or a cobra.

- Good luck, Eagle.

- What?

Eagle.

I know.

There he is.

Kick his arse!

Is this a trick?

No, it's not a trick.

Mason?

Mason? Is it? Is he tricking?

- Can you move?

- Yeah.

- Your legs.

- No.

- Can you feel anything in them?

- No.

F*** off.

- You felt it.

- No, I didn't.

- Well, did you feel it or what?

- No.

- You screamed.

- Of course I screamed.

You hit me with f***in' nunchucks!

- You're a cripple.

- Yeah.

He's a cripple...

I don't f***in' believe it.

Mason. Why didn't you tell me?

- I did, kind of.

- No, you didn't.

Yeah, on the phone,

before I came here.

You said, "when I'm finished with him

he won't be able to walk".

And then I laughed.

- Is that what you meant?

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