East Side of Heaven Page #5

in New York.

Thanks, Denny.

I know you're wondering

what this is all about.

Well, yes. To tell the

truth, I am a little curious.

I heard Claudius DeWolfe's

broadcast last night.

So did I.

He said you were

with my husband.

Denny, I've got to find him.

Have you any idea where he is?

Well, if he's drinking again, he

could be in any one of 50 nightspots.

But last I saw him, he said he was

going to a health farm to sober up.

A health farm?

Mmm-hmm.

Did he say which one?

No, no, he didn't say that.

But...

Why, is old man Barrett

kicking up a row again?

Oh, it's much worse than that.

He's getting a court order

to take the baby.

Well, your husband isn't going

to hold still for that, is he?

That's just the trouble.

He doesn't know

anything about it.

That's why I've simply

got to find him.

Well, I know what I'd do

if I were you.

Denny, I'm desperate.

I'll do anything.

The first thing you got

to do is hide the baby.

But where?

Well, you must have

a million friends.

That's the first place

they'd look.

Well, how about a nursery,

then, or a hospital or something?

I wouldn't dare.

I'd be recognized.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, then here's

your best bet.

You find somebody that old man

Barrett would never suspect, see,

and leave the baby with him

until the whole thing cools off.

In the meantime, you can canvas

every health farm in the state.

So, with the baby

safely tucked away,

they can serve papers on you

till they're blue in the face.

They can't take away

what you haven't got.

Oh, Denny. I don't know how to thank you.

Oh, that's all right.

Do you know somebody

you can leave the baby with?

Yes. Yes, I know someone.

Is there a telegraph office

around here any place?

Oh, yeah, the Hotel Graystone.

About two blocks down there.

Take me there,

will you please?

Sure.

Well, whatever happens,

I wish you luck.

Will you keep an eye

on the baby?

I'll only be a minute.

Go ahead.

Take your time.

Careful your passenger

doesn't fall off the seat.

Oh, that's one passenger

I know hasn't been drinking.

Cute little devil,

reminds me of me youngest.

Your youngest?

How many you got?

Five. Bless their hearts,

the little darlings.

I'd rather part with me right

arm than with any one of them.

You sound like my girl.

But mind you, I wouldn't give the

braid off me shoulder for another one.

Now you sound like me.

Will you call a taxi, please?

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, Denny, me lad.

What I went through

with the last baby,

I swore I'd never be

a father again.

You Denny Martin?

Yeah, that's me.

I have a telegram

for you, sir.

For me?

You must have the wrong

Martin. I don't think so, sir.

The lady said your cab would

be parked outside the hotel.

Hey, you.

Is that your cab?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Well, get it out of there.

You ought to know better.

Yes,

I'll get it out right away.

Well, now what happens?

I can't go driving around

town with you in the back seat.

One quick stop

and you'd be on the floor.

Isn't this awful?

The Cruising Troubadour

with a hot baby in his cab.

Look at you.

Do you care what a spot you've got me in?

I suppose if you found me in the back

seat of a cab and you were driving,

you'd take care of me.

Yes, you would. Fat chance.

And if you think that grin

is going to get you anything,

you're just wasting your time.

Gee, I'd like to help you,

but what can I do?

You know, you could get me

into a lot of trouble.

You know as well as I do

what the rule book says.

Any valuable property

found in the cab

must be turned over

to the police.

And, baby,

you're valuable property.

Oh, sure.

Very funny to you,

but not to me.

Now look, I'm going to do

the sensible thing here.

I don't want to do it, 'cause

I'd like to help you out.

But it's too dangerous.

I'm going to take you down to

the 47th Street police station.

You'll like

the boys down there,

they're a nice bunch

of coppers

and they'll treat you swell.

They'll get you a great big

police car, your own private siren.

No stops for traffic lights.

Zoom, they'll take you home.

Oh, that's just the trouble, they

will take you home, won't they?

You know, you're probably

looking at the biggest chump

in the entire city

of New York.

I'm a fool, and I know it.

Here I go stepping into

something that figures to get me

into nothing but trouble.

But I'll tell you

what we'll do.

Let's go up to my place

and talk this thing over, huh?

Okay.

Hiya, Nicky.

Hi, Denny.

Any messages?

No. Mary didn't call.

Nicky, I've got

a little surprise for you.

Since I've taken up astrology

nothing surprises me anymore.

I know everything

that's going to happen.

The future is always written

plainly in the stars.

Why, only this morning...

Denny! Denny! Denny, look!

Here now.

Take it easy,

it isn't gonna bite you.

I know, but why?

But who? But where?

Wait a minute.

It's no mystery.

I found the baby in my cab

and brought it home.

You brought it home.

And you're the one

who complained

when I brought home

a little goat.

That's right.

Well, what are you

gonna do with it?

That's what we're gonna decide now. We?

Mmm-hmm.

Include me out of this.

Oh, no. Listen, we're pals, aren't we?

But certainly.

We live together, don't we?

Well, in a way, yes.

If you're in trouble, I'm

in trouble, is that right?

That's right. And if I'm in

trouble, you're in trouble, huh?

Absolutely.

Well...

I'm in trouble.

There you are.

Up we go.

Who'd think that

such a big headache

could come

in such a small package?

It's a funny thing,

now I'm convinced.

Just this morning I was casting

your horoscope for the day.

Yeah? And the stars said that tonight,

something embarrassing

was going to happen.

Hey, Nicky, be careful

how you handle that baby now.

Don't worry.

In my family

there were so many children

my father didn't even

know them all.

Oh, I see.

You've had experience, huh?

Certainly. I raised three of

my brothers from the cradle.

Where are they now?

I don't know, they're dead.

What are you doing in there?

Can't you stop that crying?

I'm not crying.

It's the baby.

You're crying.

I'm in trouble

and you're crying.

Hey, what's that

you're singing?

It's a beautiful

Russian lullaby.

It's about a girl whose sweetheart

leaves her, joins the army

and gets killed.

So she jumps off a cliff.

Give me that baby.

You want the poor kid

to have nightmares all night?

Turn out the lights.

Now listen here,

young fellow.

It's getting pretty late.

I think it's time that

you turned off those tears.

Perhaps you think

you're different.

I don't know,

perhaps you think you rate.

Or do you think you're

grown up for your years?

You better go to sleep,

my fine young man.

But if I can't

convince you...

Someone can

That sly old gentleman

From Featherbed Lane

Is watching you

He's peeking through

Your windowpane

He's gathered sand

From the skies

That glitters and gleams

He'll sprinkle your eyes

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