East Side of Heaven Page #4

Hey!

You can laugh at sweethearts

Who sorrow and swoon

They are romantic

They trusted the man

in the moon

So hang your heart

on a hickory limb

Unless you feel like me

That love is worth

the trouble it can be

They're all right,

aren't they?

Thanks, pal,

that was a real tonic.

This is positively

my last bender.

And tomorrow I'm going

to some health farm

and get a lot

of good fresh air.

Now you're talking.

Hello, Mr. Barrett.

Well, I've been looking

for you all over town.

Is that so?

Well, you've found me.

So what?

Your little domestic squabble is

going to land you in the headlines.

I thought I might be able to

present your side of the story.

Don't be so good to me.

Oh, it isn't a question of

being good to you, my boy.

After all,

your father is my sponsor.

I'd like to do him a favor

if I could.

Now, what is to become

of your wife and baby?

Why don't you talk

to your sponsor?

He's arranging everything.

Well, I can see

we're not getting anywhere.

So I guess I'll just

have to do the best I can.

Good night.

Ah, my siren

of the switchboard.

Are you happy, honey?

Why don't you go play

with your microphone?

There speaks

the voice of love.

And a wiser man

than I once said,

"Love is intoxication,

marriage the headache,

"and divorce

the aspirin tablet."

I beg your pardon.

You fascinate me.

Would you mind telling me

what is your birthday?

Why, not at all.

According to the annals

of the DeWolfe family,

I entered this vale of tears

one bright April 25th.

Just as I thought.

Taurus, the bull.

So the only thing to do

is sing

A sunbeam song

How much, please?

Oh, no charge, madam.

Good old Sunbeam Service.

Oh, well then I have to give

you something for yourself.

Hey, Denny.

I thought you weren't allowed

to take tips.

Well, the customer's

always right, you know.

Taxi, please.

Will you wait

just a minute please?

There's someone else coming.

Certainly, ma'am.

Go to the Federal

Broadcasting Station, please.

Yes, ma'am.

This will come after

the first commercial.

Manhattan Heartthrobs, colon.

The hurrying homeward throngs on

Fifth Avenue yesterday afternoon...

Sing a song of sunbeams

What was that last?

"Fifth Avenue

yesterday afternoon."

Yes. Were not disturbed by the

somewhat ordinary spectacle...

In a light, fantastic way

Show the blues you're busy

That you just can't be annoyed

What did I just give you?

"Somewhat

ordinary spectacle."

Oh, yes. By the somewhat

ordinary spectacle...

People all are suckers

for a grin

Just a minute, please.

At the risk of being rude, could I

ask you to postpone your vocalizing?

I like singing, old boy,

but not while I'm dictating.

Listen, Mr. DeWolfe, this would be a

better world if there was more singing

and less dictating.

To the readers of the Daily

Press, a word of advice.

Do not be misled

by the garbled accounts

of the impending separation of the

socially prominent Cyrus Barrett, Jr.

Some of my

less accurate colleagues

have given unfounded reports

of this separation,

which, believe me,

is an amicable one.

This was confirmed

only last night

by none other than

Cyrus Barrett Jr. himself,

whom I interviewed

in a lesser known eatery,

despite the vocal interruption

of one Denny Martin.

Martin is my candidate for

public nuisance number one.

He is a Sunbeam cab driver, who

adds to the hazards of traffic

by singing to his passengers.

If they must pass laws,

why not pass one against

cruising troubadours like Martin?

And that, fair listeners, must satisfy

your news appetite for the not...

Denny, please don't be upset

by what he said.

Oh, I'm not upset.

Every knock's a boost,

you know.

Yeah, I know.

And it doesn't matter

what anybody says about you.

As long as they

spell your name right.

Yeah, that's right.

You pretty near finished,

honey?

I've got about two more hours of cruising.

And furthermore, when a man as big

as DeWolfe even mentions your name,

you never can tell

what'll happen.

Yeah, that's just

what I'm afraid of.

I'm sure, Mr. Barrett, everything

is going to be all right.

I hope so.

Mr. Loftus.

Good evening, Mr. Barrett.

Good evening, J.F.

Now, Loftus,

did you get that order?

Indeed I did.

Now this is a temporary order

placing your grandchild

in your custody

pending the court hearing.

And this is

another temporary order

restraining Mrs. Barrett

from removing the child

from the jurisdiction

of the court.

That means, of course, that she

can't take it out of the state.

That's fine. Give yourself

a brandy, Loftus.

Thank you.

Well, let me compliment you,

gentlemen,

on the way

you handled things.

Everything is working out

as I planned.

So far so good, eh?

Mr. Barrett!

Mr. Barrett!

What is it?

Oh, Mr. Barrett,

it's terrible.

I don't know how to tell you.

What's happened?

The baby. It's gone.

What?

I was only out of the nursery

for five minutes.

I went downstairs

to the linen room.

Where's Mrs. Barrett?

I don't know, sir.

Oh, I'm so upset.

If that child is gone,

somebody will pay for it.

Now, take it easy,

Mr. Barrett.

You don't seem to know

what this means to me.

I understand perfectly.

I'll soon find out what's

been going on around here.

It's really not my fault.

Shut up!

Maybe Mrs. Barrett took

the baby out for a walk.

Walk? The baby's

only 10 months old.

Go over the entire house.

Search everywhere.

Don't excite yourself,

Mr. Barrett.

I'll never forgive myself

for this.

Gone. The baby's gone.

Impossible.

We have a court order.

If that woman's responsible,

I'll have her put in prison.

Mona! Mona!

She's taken the baby.

She found out

what we were going to do.

I'm not going to let her

get away with that.

Pardon, Mr. Barrett,

might I make a suggestion?

No! You keep out of this.

Now listen, J.F., I'll call

my friend the Commissioner.

No, no. That's not

the proper procedure.

Oh, keep quiet,

all of you.

I give the orders here.

Now, here's what

we've got to do.

First, the police

mustn't be told a word.

There's to be no scandal.

Higgins, see that none of

the servants leave the house.

Very good, sir.

Get the best detective agency in town.

Tell them to spare no expense and

put on every available man they have.

I don't care what it costs

or how they do it.

But they've got to find

that woman.

Hello? Sunbeam Cab Company?

Could you tell me where I can

get in touch with Denny Martin?

Yes, your cruising troubadour.

That's pretty hard to say,

lady.

You might try

the Frying Pan restaurant.

Denny hasn't

been here tonight.

Why don't you try

the Hotel Raleigh?

If you come up here and wait, you'll

be all the more sure to catch him.

Denny.

Denny.

Well, hello there.

Hello, Denny.

Could I talk to you about

something? It's terribly important.

Oh, certainly.

Go right ahead.

Oh, but not here.

Can't we find someplace

that's quieter?

I guess so. Hop in.

Thanks.

Well, how is this?

It's about the quietest place

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