Easy Money Page #4

---

- Forget about it. I'm not doin' it.

- You're right, forget it.

Daddy, come on, you can do it!

It's $10 million!

Oh, and Mr. Capalooti,

should you decide to accept these terms,

remember we'll be watching you.

I need a drink and a cigarette

so I can think this over, ya know.

Twelve months? Forget about it.

You can do that standing on your head.

It's easy money.

Hey, that's a lot of money, Monty.

That could parlay

into a fortune for you.

I couldn't care less,

Monty, but think of the kids.

- Think about mommy.

- Think of your wife, and your kids.

Think of me, ya bum!

Monty, breakfast is ready.

Oh, breakfast. Beautiful.

I stopped smoking. I'm starvin'.

- Dad, pass the syrup.

- Here, here.

Rose, you gave me the wrong plate.

Where's the rest of my eggs

and my home fries?

These are the rest of your eggs,

these are your home fries,

and this is applesauce.

Belinda, I can't eat all my home fries.

Want some home fries?

No, thanks.

Here, Monty.

Oohhh, pass them to Belinda.

If you wanna lose weight,

you should start now.

Ooh, food.

- It's a tough give-up.

- Allison, eat.

Allison, you gotta eat.

I know marriage is rough.

It's not all moonlight and canoes.

That's in the movies.

- I don't wanna talk about it.

- What's the matter with you?

You don't eat. You don't talk to no one.

You lock yourself in

your room all night.

The way you're carrying on,

you'll never meet another guy.

What'd I say?

"You'll never meet another guy."

Take out the garbage.

Take out the garbage.

I didn't even eat,

I gotta take out the garbage.

Hi.

She ain't worth $10 million.

$5 million, maybe.

Hey, not here! Not here!

I'm your new neighbor, Bill Jones.

You can call me Bill.

Not here! Why don't you take

him on your property, huh?

Take it easy, you interrupt

King's business he gets very upset.

What makes you think I wanna

inherit his business?

If you feel so bad, I'll clean it up.

Sure.

So you're Monty Capuletti.

Congratulations on your daughter's wedding.

Some party, I heard about.

What am I telling you for, you were there.

Look, I'm your next door neighbor now,

so we gotta get to be good buddies.

I wanna have a relationship. Most important

thing for us, we gotta have a good rapport.

Wait till you meet Ginger.

She's my better half.

I already saw your better half.

In fact, I saw more than half.

She's a dynamite girl. I met her

in Vegas a couple of years ago.

Oh, man, she's a loving,

caring, sharing person.

Someone maybe one day you

can become friendly with.

I needed you two to move in next door.

I'm nervous enough this morning.

Are you kiddin'?

Nervous, maybe you need a little smoke.

Little ups, little downs, little something.

I got anything you need.

What are you talkin' to

me about drugs for?

I got my daughter here.

She's 12 years old.

Look, you got a connection in

the family already, stick with it.

But just this once, I'll tell you what,

my friend. Let me be Santa Claus.

There's one, two, from me to you.

We'll take a hike. Come on pouchy.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Two, four, six, eight, ten.

Two, four, six, eight, ten.

This is ridiculous.

But daddy, jogging's good for you.

Thanks to jogging, more people than

ever are dropping dead in perfect health.

Five more.

- Celebrity Pizza.

- Send over the usual. Eight pies.

Two Lollo Brigidas, two

Jerry Vales, two Pavarottis,

one Caruso and a Frank Nitti.

- Monty, is that you?

- Yeah. I got a cold.

Stay right there. I'll get some money.

C'mon, what am I asking for?

One slice.

You can stay up late, all right?

The top one had anchovies.

All right, who's in?

Come on, pick the date he blows it.

Great guy you are, you know that?

Can't wait till he blows it, huh?

Bettin' on it and everything.

Listen to you.

What, are you some kind of altar boy?

Huh? You're some influence.

You gamble in front of him,

you drink in front of him.

Hey, Monty see, Monty do, you know.

Hector, Hector. Don't push me.

Listen to me. It's gonna work.

See these pennies?

You take these pennies, you throw 'em

at the window, and I'll be in the bush.

I saw it in a movie once.

It's gonna work perfect.

If you need any help, just listen

to what I'm gonna tell you to say.

Go on. Go get 'em.

- Where you going?

- I'll be in the bush.

Throw the pennies.

- You're gonna be behind the bush?

- I'll be right here.

Who's there?

Hey. How are you?

I was just, uh...

I was in the neighborhood,

and thought I'd stop by,

see what's cooking.

- That Julio?

- Yeah.

- What do I say?

- Tell her to come down.

Prove to her you're the man.

Come down. I'm the man.

Get tough. Tell her you're bad.

- I'm bad.

- Like you mean it.

Allison! I'm bad.

No, no, no!

Jump up and down.

- I am so bad! I am so bad!

- Be angry.

- Who are you talking to?

- Julio and the hedge.

I'm so bad, I should be in detention.

No, no. Be mean.

Wave your arms.

Make believe you're angry.

Listen to me.

I'm not that kind of guy

that's gonna start playing around

in the driveway of a tract house!

I'm not gonna lose my temper

in front of the woman that I love!

Get on your knees. Beg her.

Tell her you're thinking

of killing yourself.

No. I don't talk like that.

Do you hear me? I don't talk like that.

If you know so much about women,

you talk to her.

The hedge, Allison Capuletti.

Allison, the hedge has

a few words to say to you.

- I don't know what to say.

- Oh, now you don't know what to say!

Allison, Julio's very unhappy.

- You made a fool out of me!

- Get off of my ear! Let go of my leg!

Saturday lunch.

I can have a piece of fruit, citrus,

or four ounces of fish.

I think I'll have the fruit.

Sometimes with the fish,

these guys go over.

What'll you have, buddy?

- Two with sauerkraut and a Yoo-Hoo.

- Got it.

Two with sauerkraut. Yoo-Hoo.

- What do you want, buddy?

- Nothin'. I'll just smell his.

You know why I'm going

through this whole thing, Nicky?

For my kids, that's why.

That's the greatest love in the world,

your kids. You can't beat it.

That's why you do things.

That's love, for your kids.

See what I mean, see that man

over there with his kid?

That's love. Look at the way he loves

the kid, bouncing him on his knee.

That's love, baby, I'll tell you that.

There he is!

Thank goodness he's all right!

What's going on? I'm sitting here minding

my business, he jumped on my lap.

- Get away from my kid!

- Everybody calm down.

- Do you have some identification, sir?

- It's in my other raincoat.

Didn't I tell you to never wander

away from mommy again?

Spit that out right now!

Come on.

It's all ready. Come on, give it a shot.

You gotta go 30 miles an hour

for 15 minutes for it to do anything.

Come on, faster, faster. Come on.

Faster. You gotta get it up to speed.

Faster, faster, faster!

Faster. 30 miles. Faster. Faster.

- Oh, my!

- Oh, no! Oh.

Come on. Keep quiet.

Keep your head down.

- Is my hair too flat?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes