Easy Money Page #7

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Look, I'm in no mood for you.

In fact, there is no mood for you.

Nurse! Where is she?

They're never here when you need 'em.

Boy, oh, boy.

Oh, nurse, you're here.

Where were you, huh?

Three hundred and fifty

bucks a day, where are ya?

Where are ya?

Look at this. I'm dying of thirst here.

Hey, how ya doin'?

I heard about your unfortunate incident.

Where were you when I needed you?

I came to make up. I'm sorry.

All right, Nicky, we're friends.

We're friends, all right?

It must be tough eatin', huh?

Eatin'. You should see me

go to the bathroom.

- Monty! Hi, Nicky. We're back.

- Rose, you're here.

How's our patient today?

Oh, he looks much better.

How did you sleep?

Are you kiddin'? I was up all night.

Well, let's look at the chart.

He was hit in the fleshy

area of the gluteus maximus.

Ah, you're wrong. He got me in the ass.

No vital areas were damaged.

- No doubt he'll recover.

- How long do I have to be here?

Let me see now. Perhaps we

might have to keep you here

for four, maybe five weeks.

Rose, I'm not hangin'

here for five weeks.

At least I know you're

gonna be all right.

I gotta pick up my mother

at the beauty parlor, all right.

So long, Nicky.

How are you feeling today?

You're looking good.

Oh, daddy!

I never realized how

much Julio loved me.

It was the most romantic

moment of my life

when he almost killed you.

Can I call you "dad" now?

Take it easy!

These are new stitches, you know.

Why can't you forgive and forget?

How could I forget?

Every time I sit down, I'll think of him.

Monty, how are you?

What an insensitive question.

You've been shot.

Well, this'll cheer you up. We're a hit.

What are you talking about?

They all laughed at me.

But we're laughing now,

all the way to my bank.

Look at this. What?

We put the clothes in the window,

and the kids went crazy for it.

I don't understand it,

but, well, who cares?

The regular guy look is a big success.

You did the regular guy look?

I just bought two of your

short-sleeve pajama tops.

- Rose, I gotta get out of here.

- Daddy, this is great!

By the time you get out of the hospital,

we'll have the money.

And you'll lose weight too.

I saw the food. Monty, she's right.

Your ship's come in.

But my pier collapsed.

All right, everyone out.

Visiting hours are over. Please!

We have sick men in here.

You too, doctor. Please.

Excuse me, the two of you.

This is a hospital.

Hey, come on, let's go.

My good... Excuse me.

Will you get out? Let's go, let's go!

Daddy!

- How are you, Mr. Manucci?

- Bye, Monty.

Martha's gonna take

good care of you today.

How was your lunch?

I see you haven't eaten much of it.

I don't blame you, honey.

They're trying to make

everybody up here sicker...

While I'm up here, check my oil.

Jesus.

We trust you had a pleasant swim, sir.

Your shirt.

I don't want that shirt.

Are you kiddin'?

But sir, you should be

dressed to your station.

I don't want to wear

that shirt, all right!

Yes? This is Mr. Capuletti's

business advisor.

What can I do for you?

Better yet, what can you do for me?

Silver is down?

Call the Lone Ranger.

He'll cheer him up.

Hello.

Oil wells? Very interesting.

Meatballs, sir? No.

- Madam?

- No.

Meatball, sir?

Where's the pistachio nuts?

There's too much trouble

with the shells.

Oh, yeah? I like the shells.

Hmm.

You got any salami or provolone?

Salami, salami. Provolone.

Give it to him.

Why don't you get some sun

and come back next week?

Julio?

Julio?

Julio.

Julio.

Oh, you bad boy.

You were hiding from me.

- No.

- I found you now.

- You gonna play with me?

- Not again.

- Look what I wore just for you.

- Allison, I'm exhausted.

Chapter six, "El Joyo."

- You hired a captain?

- Yep. Everything's taken care of.

- He know how to get to Coney Island?

- Yeah, I told him. It's easy.

Here, I'll show you.

You go north up the Atlantic,

west into the Hudson.

Come to the statue of that

broad, you hang a right.

Takes 20 minutes,

a half hour with traffic.

Tell him to shove off as soon as I

sign those papers with Scrappleton.

What's that, a fire drill?

- It's lunch. Come on.

- I'm starving. Let's go.

Oh, daddy, I just saw

the cutest little dingy.

Allison, you're married to Julio.

This is the life, huh?

And they say money can't buy happiness.

At least you can pick

your own kind of misery.

Clive, you're the only one

who hasn't seen my stitches.

Want to take a look?

Excuse me.

Mr. Daniel Scrappleton, sir.

Hey, Scrappy, show me

that dotted line, huh?

And Mrs. Kathleen Monahan.

Oh, no!

My god! It's mother.

She's back from the dead.

She's better than Houdini.

I've never felt better in my life!

Grandma, did you bring me anything?

A hat just like mine.

You never felt better?

You were in a plane crash.

- There was no crash.

- I made up the whole thing.

Why?

Rose, I did it for you

and the grandchildren.

Someone had to stop Monty's debauchery.

He was going to hell in a hand basket.

Yes, quite true.

- And to test you as well.

- You failed!

- I'll kill her. I'll kill her!

- Take it easy.

I'll kill her! I'll kill her!

I'll kill her! Let me go!

Boy, you got some

nerve still being alive.

I went through this

whole thing for nothin'?

No, not for nothing, Monty.

You proved yourself to me.

And to make sure that you stay

on the straight and narrow,

I'm moving in with you.

- What's for dessert?

- Spumoni, miss.

Your favorite, Monty.

Shrimpton, none for Mr. Capuletti.

- Right, mom.

- And Shrimpton.

Mr. Capuletti is

skipping the coffee too.

It'll keep me awake, right, mom?

Right, dear.

And Shrimpton, I noticed a bottle

of beer in the refrigerator.

- Get rid of it.

- Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Right again, mom.

Well, I guess that's it for me.

I think I'll go out and walk

off all these vegetables.

And after that it's bedtime.

- Good night, honey.

- Good night, sweetheart.

- And Shrimpton?

- Yes, sir.

You better get rid of that

glazed fruit too. It's fattening.

Certainly, sir.

- Good night, Belinda.

- Good night, daddy.

Good night, mom.

Hey, mom. That perfume

is driving me crazy.

I think I married Rose

to get to you, huh?

Good night, all.

Rose, he's a changed man.

- Finally, you've got a good marriage.

- We had a good marriage before.

Yes, but now you're married

to a human being.

I don't mind telling you,

I'm proud of what I did.

It wasn't easy,

but now I've got him under control!

Where's the pizza? I'm starving!

- Monty, where you been?

- We're keeping it warm for you.

Wait a minute.

Don't get grease on the cards.

Gimme the red pepper, will you?

Gimme a napkin.

- So what'd you tell her tonight?

- Tonight?

I told her her perfume

is driving me crazy.

Then I told her I married

Rose to get to her.

Gimme a beer.

My mother-in-law.

For years I wouldn't kiss her face,

I ended up kissin' her ass.

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