Easy Six Page #3

- Yeah, it's Vegas.

Again.

Cool.

Do you know what they call

a head of masturbating cattle?

Beef stroganoff.

Strange thing. I almost got fired

for telling that silly little joke.

Maybe it would've been best.

What do you mean?

I mean, it's obvious

you don't fit in there.

Well, fitting in

has never been easy for me.

That's why I left England.

American colleges, when I first

arrived, were free and loose.

Refuges for intellectualism

and radical thinking.

Now, they're just part

of the big corporate economy...

like a department store.

The administrators

are like store managers...

the professors are the clerks...

and the students

are the almighty customers.

Why do you let everyone

push you around?

Who?

Everyone. The students, faculty...

Especially the students.

Like I said,

the students are the customers...

and the customers are always right.

Do you know

when I gave my last "fail"?

It was before your time, nearly 7

years ago, a girl called Nora Vallum.

Well, Nora Vallum

hardly ever came to class...

she never did homework,

did a miserable exam...

and she was argumentative

in my conference with her.

I had no hesitation in failing her.

Now, she complained

to Janet Vanderpour...

that the reason she didn't come

to class was to protest the fact...

that I only taught

one woman writer...

in my Renaissance fiction seminar,

that I was sexist.

Well, the dean instructed me

to give her a B plus...

and to reconsider my curriculum.

So, what did you do?

At first,

I thought about quitting...

and then I thought about fighting.

And then I compromised.

I gave Nora her grade...

but I went on teaching what I wanted

to teach, but as a concession...

I only ever give students

A's and B's since then.

That way everyone is satisfied.

I look good,

as if I'm doing a great job...

students get the grades they want,

but are never prepared to work for.

And the administration is happy.

Are you happy?

Yes, of course.

I mean, what choice do I have?

Don't you need to get that?

Hey, Pack!

Pack, it's Frank.

Hey, Sally's coming home

for Christmas.

Yeah. She said you found her.

Why didn't you call me and tell me?

Because she wanted

to be the one to tell you.

That's what I figured.

Listen...

I just can't tell you

how much I appreciate it.

- Oh, it's nothing.

- Pack, are we going to...

What was that?

You got somebody there?

Don't be ridiculous.

You got lucky!

You got lucky! There's somebody

with you, isn't there?

You know I'm not like that, Frank.

The rabbit's foot worked!

Hey, let me talk to her.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Come on.

Put the phone up to her ear.

Hi, sweetheart.

What's your name, honey?

Come on.

Talk to me, baby.

I have to go now, Frank.

Yes.

Bye. bye.

You didn't tell me

you'd call Frank.

It doesn't matter. I would just

like to have been more prepared.

You're treating the text like

it's dead, Irv...

and that you're the only one

qualified to do the postmortem.

I... I have more respect

for the form...

You have more respect...

Suddenly...

Milton enslaved his daughters

to read for him after he went blind.

Doesn't that outrage you?

Pack, be the voice of reason.

Speak to this young man.

You've been really strange, Pack.

What's gotten into you?

Tell me about the girl.

Forget it.

Come on...

Come on, tell me.

You know I'm going to get it

out of you, Pack.

You had somebody

in your room, didn't you?

- Admit it.

- Okay, you win. Listen...

There was a streetwalker.

I gave her a hundred dollars.

She was thrilled, I was thrilled.

That's it, that's all.

You finally came down of your perch

and had sex with somebody.

Oh, man!

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry.

One of those peep show beauties

is gonna think about you and go...

I didn't want

to talk about it, Frank.

What happened?

Something went wrong?

- Nothing went wrong, Frank.

- Something went wrong.

What happened?

All right. She had a name like one

of those succulent hooker names:

Candy, Honey, Peaches, what?

- Natalie. Her name is Natalie.

- Natalie?

- Natalie?

- I'll see you later, Frank.

Natalie?

All right!

What?

The decorations. I put them out.

You put them up.

Hello, Pack.

Welcome to our humble bowl...

and a Merry Christmas Eve to you.

Thank you for inviting me.

It's been a long time since I put

decorations on a Christmas tree.

Hello, Sally.

- Hi.

- That's not how we were raised.

- Stand up and shake his hand.

- It's all right, Frank, I mean...

Sally and I saw

each other in Vegas.

All right.

Have a seat.

Shouldn't we begin the decorations?

Well, that's what I wanted to do.

It's all about Sally.

And, for some reason,

Sally's not interested.

All right.

Why don't you just sit down

and have a drink?

The beer's for you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I forgot the bottle opener.

- I'll go get you one.

- I think I have one in my key chain.

Where's the rabbit's foot

that I gave you?

- It's at home.

- At home? Why?

Did you put something new

on there?

Nothing special.

- Why are you being so secretive?

- Frank, leave him alone!

You're always

pushing people around.

It's not a problem.

Here.

"Paradise Inn".

That's a hotel or something?

- It's a restaurant.

- Restaurant?

That wasn't so difficult, was it?

Come on, Pack. I bet Sally would

love to hear about your adventures.

Well, all in all, it was fun.

Fun? Fun?

I think it was more than just fun!

- Now is not the time, Frank.

- Come on! Tell us about...

Natalie.

Natalie!

Come on.

Oh, man! Dice, women, booze!

I wish I'd been with you.

Viva Las Vegas.

Viva Las Vegas, Frank.

Hello?

Hello, Sally.

What are you doing

calling me here?

Okay. Okay.

I'll see you at eight.

I don't know. Teaching's not

worse than any other job.

Yes, but it's no better.

Well, quit if you

don't like it, I mean...

change your life.

That's it exactly.

I thought I could move to Vegas...

and maybe get a job in a casino.

And you and I...

That's just not realistic, Pack.

I know, but I'm sick

of being realistic.

Before I met you, Sally, my life was

a triumph of realism over fantasy...

of maturity over passion.

My life has been ruined

by a cowering fear of change.

You're just getting

a little carried away, I think.

Yes, I am, and I like it.

I'm in love with you, Sally.

Well, there's just

one problem with that.

What?

I'm not in love with you.

You're not?

No!

Well, I can make you

fall in love with me.

It doesn't work like that.

- But you like me.

- Yeah.

That's a start.

That's enough initially, I mean...

I'm a little further ahead than you.

You're miles ahead of me.

This was just, you know,

like a f*** or two. You'll...

You'll see.

You'll cool down in a little bit,

things will go back to normal and...

I'll go back to Vegas,

and you'll...

start teaching again and, you know,

it will just be a memory to you.

It's not what I want.

That's what I want.

And where does it leave us?

Well, let's have supper.

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