Eat Pray Love Page #3

...of the dealer who encouraged

this addiction in the first place...

...but now refuses to pony up

the good stuff.

Just frustrated, l'm concerned.

I don't understand.

What don't you get?

What's going on?

You don't look me in the eye.

-You don't finish your--

-Nobody's asking you to make the bed!

-You don't have sex with me!

-Sometimes I'm not in the mood!

Goddamn him, and he used to

give it to you for free.

Next stage finds you skinny,

shaking in a corner...

...certain only that

you'd sell your soul...

...just to have that one thing

one more time.

Well, then why don't we discuss it?

Why don't we sort it?

-Why don't we act like adults?

-Okay. Can I have a little space?

-How about that?

-Meanwhile...

...the object of your adoration

is now repulsed by you.

-You don't always make me miserable.

-There's a comfort.

I just-- Sometimes l need to

come home...

...and have a little David time.

He looks at you like someone

he's never met before.

-ls that okay?

-Yeah. No, it's fine.

And not have to, like, you know,

justify it.

The irony is

you can hardly blame him.

I mean, check yourself out.

You're a mess.

Unrecognizable

even to your own eyes.

You asked me to come here?

Here l am.

And it turned into something else.

-Didn't it?

-You are such a child.

-Right. I can't take this anymore.

-Great. Perfect.

That's a great response

to a conversation.

Goddamn it.

You have now reached

infatuation's final destination.

The complete

and merciless devaluation of self.

You wanna go away for a year?

Do you know what I felt

when l woke up, Delia?

Nothing. No passion, no spark,

no faith, no heat. Absolutely nothing.

I've gotten past the point where

I can be calling this a bad moment.

And it just terrifies me. Jesus,

this is like worse than death to me...

...the idea that this is the person

I'm gonna be from now on.

This happens to people.

They fall in love in their 20s,

get married...

...do the granite countertop,

white-picket fence in their 30s...

...and somewhere they realize,

"This is not for me."

So they fail and they fall down,

they hurt like hell, they straighten up...

...and march their asses

to the shrink's office.

-They can't just check out.

-l am not checking out.

I need to change.

You have a support system

here, Liz.

You have friends and family

who love you.

And do you feel my love for you?

My support for you? No.

There's, like, nothing. l have no pulse.

-l am going to Italy.

-ltaly. Why ltaly?

-What did you have for lunch?

-l don't know. A salad.

Exactly. l used to have this appetite

for food, for my life...

...and it is just gone.

I wanna go someplace

where l can marvel at something.

Language, gelato,

spaghetti, something.

-You're talking like a college kid.

-l've been acting like one.

Since I was 1 5, I've either been

with a guy or breaking up with a guy.

I have not given myself

two weeks of a breather...

...to just deal with, you know, myself.

What's going on

with you and David?

What, did you fall out?

I don't know how to be here.

You wanna know how to be here?

Stop constantly waiting for something.

I'm going to Italy and then l'm going

to David's guru's ashram in lndia...

...and l'm going to end the year

in Bali.

That's what l'm gonna do.

That's harder to argue with.

The beaches are nice. But why?

-Ketut told me I would.

-Guy with no teeth.

When you're desperate...

...and some guy who,

yes, looks a little like Yoda...

...hands you a prophecy,

you have to respond.

-Do you need a Xanax?

-Always.

Okay, l'm just gonna say it.

I'm gonna say it and be done with it.

What if it doesn't work?

My whole life

fits in a 1 2-foot-square box.

You know how many times

I hear that in a day?

Most of them never come back

for their whole life.

-Hello?

-Liz.

Good news. Stephen just signed

the divorce papers.

I'll probably be back in a week,

penniless with dysentery.

You're my hero.

Hey.

If you stay,

we'll go out for lndian every night.

You never asked me to stay.

Go, go, go.

You know what's funny?

This is the first time in my life

there's no one waiting at home for me.

I don't even have a home

to come back to.

Oh, God. You'll make friends.

You'll make friends with a backpack,

of course.

It'd be great to get away.

Andy and l were talking about getting

a little villa in Florence for a month.

You know, and in 1 0 years,

when Jack is older....

What?

You know why l was giving you

such a hard time?

I love my job, my guy and my kid,

but....

I wish I could go.

I love you and l'm proud of you.

Now go.

There is a wonderful

old Italian joke...

...about a poor man

who goes to church every day...

...and prays before the statue

of a great saint, begging:

"Dear saint, please, please, please

let me win the lottery."

Finally, the exasperated statue

comes to life...

...and looks down at the begging man

and says:

"My son, please, please, please

buy a ticket."

So now l get the joke.

And l've got three tickets.

You heat the water on the stove.

So if I want to bathe...?

You put the water in the tub.

Okay.

Yeah. lt doesn't really seem like

enough water to bathe in.

Not enough.

Yes, it's enough.

Fill it up three, four, five times.

Everything that's important

gets cleaned.

Is this safe? This...

...scaffolding? Scaffol--

It holds up the ceiling.

Otherwise it will fall apart.

Everything falls apart, my dear.

The only thing permanent in life

is family.

You're not married.

No, divorziata.

Why divorced?

We broke it.

You're more happy now?

I have one rule.

No strange men spending the night.

You American girls

when you come to ltaly...

...all you want is pasta...

...and sausage.

I'll take it.

Good. You chose well.

Cappuccino.

-lt's a zoo in here.

-And my ltalian sucks.

-How long have you been here?

-Two weeks. You?

Six weeks. You'll get better.

Two cappuccinos, please.

And warm the milk this time.

Yesterday it was too hot

and burned my tongue.

-You like Napoleons?

-Of course.

And two Napoleons, please.

Your Italian is fantastic.

I have a wonderful tutor.

I'll give you his number if you like.

-He's really good and he needs work.

-Oh, great.

Are you Dutch? German?

Swedish. Even colder people,

if you can imagine.

-l'm Liz, by the way.

-Sofi.

You can say:

It's past.

Too fast, but okay.

You can say:

Yeah.

What a beautiful word.

Come on, it's "let's cross over."

It's so ordinary.

No, it's the perfect combination

of ltalian sounds.

It's the wistful "ah," the rolling trill,

the soothing "ess."

-That's true.

-l love it.

All right, let me teach you a word.

Therapist.

-Come on.

-Good. You gotta learn humor.

-lt's not.

-Come on. Cheers.

-Shall we continue Tuesday at 5?

-Yes.

-With another bottle of the therapy?

-Of course.

-You're doing very well, Liz.

-Thank you.

And you must be very polite

with yourself...

...when you learn something new.

Yes. Grazie, I agree.

But your English-- How are you

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