Eat the Rich Page #3

"Well, we can give in.

Or we can fight."

"Fight? Don't be daft.

There's only the two of us."

"You're wrong.

There's millions like us, Ron."

"With no hope, no future..."

"All it takes is one man

with a dream."

"Look at... Castro."

"Oh, I don't know."

"Look, we got a few quid."

"Why don't we just slip off

to Brazil?"

"You know, start a mini cab

business?"

"Ron, we can run,

but we can't hide."

"We're f***ed then, aren't we?

Oh, sh*t."

"Well, we've all got to die

sometime."

"So why not take a few

of the bastards with us."

"- Nice car.

- Yes."

"Goes with the job.

Park anywhere I like."

"Don't get a parking ticket."

"Good, isn't it?"

"How did you get to be

Home Secretary?"

"Ah! What you don't know

don't hurt you."

"You've got a lovely body."

"Help yourself."

"Whoa! What's it? Home Sec,

naughty nibble, eh Nosh?"

"Kinky Nosh has naughty nibble

late at night?"

"What's the girl's age, Nosh?"

"Oh, my f***ing head!"

"- Jellied eels, Home Secretary?

- Leave me alone."

"And who were you

rogering last night?"

"I don't know.

I was too pissed to remember."

"Well, you'll never make Prime Minister

if you can't hold your drink."

"Look."

"I can get heart disease

just by being Home Sec. Right?"

"Well, it's making me

drink to excess."

"People keep looking at me in

supermarkets and saying,"

"He's just Home Secretary,

you know."

"How do you think I feel?"

"We used to be happy before I

made it big in politics."

"Well, it's not good enough, Nosh. I

want more power and more influence"

"- and I want it now!

- Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

"More, more, more! Pfft!"

"Don't take any notice of him.

He's still drunk."

"Look! All I wanna do is

to win the election"

"and hold onto all these

perks!"

"Including the flash motor

out there!"

"Oh!"

"Nosher!"

"- Who's the girl?

- Just a little bit on the side."

"- Did she come, Nosh?

- You'll have to ask her that."

"- Are you a mad p*ssy hound?

- Well, I did what any other man would do with a slut"

"that waved her bits

underneath me."

"Nosher! Nosher!"

"Siege hero Nosher

Powell has done it again."

"At long last, Britain has a politician

who's proved that he is no slouch"

"when it comes to giving the

housewife a good pushing."

"We say Britain needs you.

Keep it up, Nosh!"

"Exclamation mark,

exclamation mark."

"- Oh, my God.

- That went down like a concrete parachute, didn't it?"

"We've got to do something, Spider.

Moscow is getting impatient."

"Couldn't we sort of have him

killed?"

"Yeah. How?"

"I don't know."

"What about one of those, uh,"

"poison dart things

in the shoe?"

"You know, sort of kick him under

the table when he's not looking."

"Oi! What's this all about?"

"I'm afraid it's more inner-city

frustration, Home Secretary."

"Don't give me all that

old Tom tit."

"Any more dole queue rumbles like this

and it could lose me the election."

"- Oh, that would be a pity.

- What's being done about it?"

"I'll look into that

immediately, Home Secretary."

"Good. 'Cause when they find

them, you know what I'll do?"

"I'll put that

right on their chin."

"We strike first at the monetary

system, you know, profits and loss."

"If we destroy that, then

there's no profit, no loss."

"So, what we doing out here

in the middle of nowhere?"

"We've got to find some

recruits."

"So why has it gotta be in the country?

Why can't we do that in the West End?"

"Look! We don't want all those

Kings Road posers!"

"- They're everything we hate!

- Ah, we hate them."

"- Yes!

- Tell me, what other London streets do we hate?"

"Look, for heaven's sake,

haven't you read Karl Marx?"

"- Is it them?

- Yeah, I think so."

"All I wanna know is what's got me in

the horrible, dirty, bleeding country!"

" As we stand outside "

" But I love them

most of all "

" Sleeping by my side "

" I love my sheep and pigs "

"Hi. We're starting a people's uprising.

Do you fancy joining us?"

"- Yes, I'd love to.

- Come on, then."

"- So it begins."

" I am the one, Orgasmatron

"

" The outstretched

grasping hand "

" My image is of agony "

" My servants rape the land

"

" Obsequious and arrogant "

" Clandestine and vain "

" Two thousand years

of misery "

" Of torture in my name "

" Oh my love is hate "

" I am the politician "

" And I decide your fate "

"I said, mind my f***ing horse,

d*ckhead!"

"- Yeah!

- Yeah, well, when the revolution comes,"

"- we'll be round your house.

- I've never heard anything like it in my life!"

"How dare you!"

"This'll be really good for me. Me and

some mates have been meaning for years"

"to get into armed rebellion. But you

know how it is, you get in the pub,"

"start talking treason, and all

they wanna do is play darts."

"Hm..."

"Have you got these

in a size smaller?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

"They're extremely popular,

you know."

"You're not gonna fight the

revolution wearing those, I hope."

"Sorry, mate.

It's government business."

"Bit top-secret."

"What do you think, Jimmy? They're not

too baggy around here, are they?"

"No, I think with a few grenades

on your belt, that'll look fine."

"Oh, sorry. So, what are we gonna

hit first? An embassy? The BBC?"

"Well, we hadn't really

thought about it."

"Three pairs of cotton

underpants,"

"and a pair of those black

leather stranglers' gloves."

"- Oh, and this.

- I mean, let's face it."

"A lot of the favorites have been done.

You know, banks, multi-nationals."

"So what you're looking for

is a new kind of atrocity."

"- Are these pre-shrunk?

- Oh, yes, of course."

"- What's that you've got there?

- Pluto."

"- Eh?

- I thought it might come in handy for all those long"

"- boring bits between

the shooting."

"This way, gents."

"Open up, it's the police.

Anyone in there?"

"- Family crisis.

- Oh."

"Travel by night."

"- Trust nobody.

- OK."

"And Alex, grind the face"

"of capitalism into the dust,

won't you?"

"Why, what's it to you,

stranger?"

"It's a long story."

"A long and painful story."

"It all started when I was

at Oxbridge."

"I was 19."

"There were five of us."

"Everything all right,

love?"

"I'm pregnant!"

"That Tory bastard

got me pregnant."

"No money."

"No future!"

"Oh, God! All I want to do is

bring down the government!"

"Destroy the system!"

"That's all I ask."

"Lovely, isn't it?"

"Do you know this is one of the last

cars to have a wooden dashboard?"

"There aren't many of these

around now, you know."

"- Is it a V6 or a four?

- It's a V6, I think."

"Hm... What do you get

on a long run?"

"- Twenty, 25?

- Yes."

"Providing I don't go

flat-out."

"That's not bad.

It's in lovely condition."

"You must be very proud of it."

"Yes. I am."

"You know, I took my wife on our

honeymoon in one of these."

"Honeymoon."

"I took her to this hotel,

all right,"

"once you got through

the barbed wire."

"And we went upstairs on the lift,

the old lift driver, he said to me,"

"Did I stop too fast?" I said, "No, we

always wear our trousers around our ankles."

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes