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Ed TV Page #12
- Year:
- 2011
- 407 Views
The same eggheads who, earlier, had no interest in Ed. Now
they're all worked up.
PANEL MEMBER #1
But he's not a normal person
anymore. He's a celebrity.
We're no longer observing
anyone's "real life."
PANEL MEMBER #2
(disagreeing)
But that's what's interesting!
otherwise average person.
PANEL MEMBER #3
But do you really feel that Ed is
an average person? I mean this
guy seems to have a... magnetism,
a charisma that, I think,
transcends the entire concept.
PANEL MEMBER #4
I agree. He's special.
They all nod.
" DAY 34 "
Ed is opening letters and packages. There are piles of them
ED:
This is from a girl named
Tawny... this goes in the nude
picture pile. Thank you, Tawny.
He places it in a large pile. He opens another envelope.
ED (CONT'D)
Let's see.
Ed stares and his smile disappears.
A picture of Ed's face with his body drawn underneath it. The
body is spurting blood and is mutilated. Ed stares at it.
ED:
Well. This is creative. This
goes in the psychopath pile.
The DOORBELL RINGS.
ED:
Oh, I hope that's not this guy.
(indicates psycho
letter)
He PICKS UP a baseball bat and crosses to the door.
He opens the door. A handsome man in his early sixties is
there. His name is HANK.
HANK:
Hello.
ED:
Hi.
Ed waits.
HANK:
You don't recognize me.
ED:
No. Am I supposed to?
Hank shrugs. Ed stares at him, then begins to look a little
shaken.
121 INT. EWS MOTHER'S HOUSE
Jeanette is putting a jar in the refrigerator. She glances at
the television. She drops the jar. It SHATTERS...
122 INT. MARCIA'S APARTMENT
Marcia is with her half-Asian son ANDY. She's serving his
dinner. OFF-CAMERA we HEAR Cliff SINGING and the DOG HOWLING
in distress. Glancing at the television, Marcia gasps.
123 INT. RAY'S APARTMENT
Ray is TYPING on a word processor.
He stares curiously at the television.
124 INT. ED'S APARTMENT
Ed is staring at Hank doubtfully.
HANK:
It's me, Hank -- your father.
RAPID CUTS of VIEWERS, excited. Many of them reach for the
phone.
The Real TV staff react. Cynthia looks over-- stunned.
ALICE:
(to Cynthia)
Did you do this? Did you find
him and get him to--
CYNTHIA:
No way... Oh, this just keeps
getting better.
126 INT. AL AND JEANETTE'S HOUSE - DAY
Written on the screen -- "Day 35"
Ed and his mother are arguing. Al is sucking oxygen and has a
pile of "People" magazines with Ed on the cover. A REPAIRMAN
is fixing the refrigerator. All their food is out and melting.
Jeanette is trying to preserve food in an ice chest while she
argues with Ed.
JEANETTE:
I can't believe you're taking his
side.
ED:
I'm not! I'm just trying to get
some facts.
AL:
(to Ed)
Sign this one to Nancy. She's
the nurse who handles my urine.
Ed signs.
JEANETTE:
I told you the facts! He
abandoned us -- those are the
facts.
ED:
So everything he told me
yesterday was a lie. Everything.
Al takes a loud breath.
JEANTETTE:
Yes! ... practically
ED:
What do you mean practically?
Did he really run away or did you
throw him out like he says.
REPAIRMAN:
I need to replace the coil.
JEANETTE:
(to Ed)
out.
(to repairman)
How much is a new coil?
REPAIRMAN:
ED:
So he was telling the truth
you threw him out.
REPAIRMAN:
Should I go ahead?
JEANETTE:
Yes.
ED:
Yes to me or yes to the coil?
JEANETTE:
Both.
ED:
Holy sh--
AL:
This one to Dr. Bamajian. Maybe
he won't make me wait an hour.
Ed signs.
JEANETTE:
He had girlfriends!
ED:
He says --
JEANETTE:
I don't care what he says. Look,
I don't need to relive this. On
television!
AL:
Whatever happened to Norman
Rockwell?
ED:
Who?
AL:
Norman Rockwell. He painted
magazine covers. Folksy. A
mailman, a boy scout, a kid
visiting a doctor...
ED:
Yeah, so... ?
AL:
They celebrated the common
person.
ED:
Well, I don't think you can get
more common than me, Al.
AL:
No. Only celebrities now. Now,
if you put a mailman on the cover
of a magazine he'd better have
killed someone or no one will buy
it. This one to Dr. Rumpley.
Jeanette storms back in.
JEANETTE:
All right -- do you want to know
the truth? I took you and Marcia
and Ray to my sister's on the
train for the weekend and you all
got chicken pox. So I took you
home a day early and there was
your father with a woman in our
bed. Okay?
ED:
Chicken pox? I was six. He
didn't leave 'til I was twelve.
JEANETTE:
He... apologized, he begged me.
He can be very... charming when
it suits his purpose.
ED:
But what was that whole story
about him and a nurse?
JEANETTE:
She could've been a nurse.
ED:
Could've been a nurse?
JEANETTE:
She had white shoes.
ED:
So does Grandma. So does
Shaquille O'Neal. You told me
you had a hysterectomy and he ran
off with your nurse.
JEANETTE:
What's the difference?
ED:
The difference is for twenty
years I thought one thing and now
it's another thing.
Ed nods.
JEANETTE:
He was no good. Do you remember
how he used to scream at me? You
used to cover your ears with
dinner rolls.
JEANETTE (CONT'D)
Also, no job was ever good enough
for him. "Small potatoes, small
potatoes." Al, you remember --
Al breathes loudly.
ED:
Wait a minute. I thought you
didn't know Al, 'til after Dad
left.
Pause. Even the repairman pokes his head out of the
refrigerator.
ED (CONT' D)
Oh my God. You and Al were -
and that's why you threw him out.
JEANETTE:
He had a woman in my own bed!
And how dare you call him "Dad"
in front of Al.
(shakes Al by the
shoulder)
This is your father. This is who
was there for you when you needed
someone.
AL:
Jeanette, you're hurting me.
ED:
(on the defensive)
I'm not -- I didn't -- Al, you
know how I feel about you...
Al breathes loudly.
ED (CONT'D)
(uncomfortably)
If I don't call you "Dad" it'
just because...
1 was already a big boy when you
came into our lives --
(pointedly to his
mother)
or when I thought you came into
our lives --
JEANETTE:
And what did he come back now
for?
ED:
Who?
JEANETTE:
Hank! All of a sudden. Because
now you're famous and he can get
something from you. I don't wan
Marcia.
(to the TV)
Not that you're a victim, honey.
You're not. Life's just been a
little hard on you, sweetie.
ED:
(to Al)
What do you think. I mean
about... him. Should I just...
have nothing to do with him? I
mean...
AL:
(to Ed)
Have I ever said a bad word to
you about your father?
ED:
No.
AL:
Well, now I will. He was a crazy
mean, son-of-a-b*tch.
Al starts to wheel himself out. Ed looks weary.
AL (CONT'D)
But he was your father.
127 INT. ED'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
He's asleep.
128 INT. CONTROL TRUCK
They're monitoring him. They see Ed WAKE UP. They stir.
Sleepy, and scratching his ass, he goes into the bathroom.
129 INT. BATHROOM
Ed shuts the door. He takes his PORTABLE PHONE OUT of a
bathroom drawer. (He stashed it there.) He makes a call and
waits.
ED:
(whispering)
Hi... it's me, Ed. It's been two
days, I want to see you... No, I
won't let them follow me, I'11
sneak out... No it's not allowed,
but I'm going for it... I'm on my
way.
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"Ed TV" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/ed_tv_467>.
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