Ed Wood Page #18

ED:

No, it's fine. It's real! In

actuality, Lobo would struggle with

that problem every day.

WIPE TO:

LABORATORY SET - LATER

They are back on the completed lab set. Beyond the bunsen

burners and beakers is a kitchenette in the corner.

ED:

Wow, this lab looks great. Except

why is there a stove and

refrigerator?

PAUL MARCO:

We couldn't afford any more props.

If it seems weird, maybe you can add

a scene where they eat dinner.

ED:

Nah, it'll work. Where's Bela?

Bela is asleep on a couch. Ed nudges him.

ED:

Bela, are you ready?

BELA:

(he groggily wakes up)

Mmph? Where am I?

ED:

You're shooting "Bride Of The Atom."

Scene 85.

Bela nods. He stands up, then grimaces in pain. So he pulls

two BRIGHT LITTLE PILLS from his pocket and swallows them.

Ed walks Bela onto the lab set.

ED:

You'll be sitting on the right.

BELA:

(he glares at the sparking Tesla

coils)

I'm not getting near that goddamn

thing. One of those burned me on

"The Return Of Chandu."

ED:

Okay. Then you'll be sitting on the

left.

Ed turns to Tor and Loretta. She wears a wedding gown.

ED:

Here's the scene. Loretta, you're

in a trance. You glide in and get

on the operating table. Now Tor,

you're supposed to tie her down. But

you have an angora fetish... and

when you rub that swatch of angora,

it makes you refuse so Bela has

to discipline you.

TOR:

Okey-dokey.

WIPE TO:

SHOOTING - LATER

The scene begins.

ED:

ACTION!

BELA (as VORNOFF)

"Now we are ready for the girl."

Bela does his patented hypnotic arm wave. He actually has a

powerful intensity. Loretta staggers in, eyes glazed. Like a

zombie, she climbs onto the operating table.

BELA:

"Dear, you are a woman of super

strength and beauty. A lovely vision

of exquisitely beauty -- sh*t!"

(he breaks character)

Damn! Eddie, I'm sorry I can't

remember all this. I'm an old man.

It's too long.

ED:

That's fine, Bela. We're still

rolling. Just say "Dear, you're

lovely."

BELA:

(he snaps back into character)

"Dear, you're lovely."

(he turns to Tor)

"Strap her to the table."

Tor starts to tie Loretta down, then gets distracted by a piece

of angora hooked to his waist. He rubs it lovingly, calmed,

then suddenly refuses.

Bela is furious.

BELA:

"Do as I command you!"

Bela pulls out an oversized BULLWHIP and starts WHIPPING Tor.

Tor screams in agony.

BELA:

"I'll teach you to disobey me!"

Bela chases Tor around the set, WHIPPING him.

ED:

And, CUT!!! Impeccable!

ON TOR:

He dances about happily.

TOR:

I love being movie star!

Tor jubilantly hugs Loretta. She grimaces.

LORETTA:

Ow. Not so hard, Tor.

ON ED:

A SURLY STAGE MANAGER strides over to Ed.

SURLY STAGE MANAGER

Hey, Wood. Your check bounced.

ED:

Okay, I'll get you the money later.

SURLY STAGE MANAGER

No. I need it NOW.

Ed nods grimly. He grabs Loretta and takes her aside.

ED:

Sorry to bother you while we're

shooting, but the guy who owns the

stage needs his money.

LORETTA:

Well then you should pay him,

shouldn't you?

ED:

(he smiles)

Yeah. Exactly!

There's a pause. They stare at each other.

ED:

I kinda need it now.

LORETTA:

(baffled)

What are you looking at me like that

for? I already gave you my

three hundred.

ED:

Yeah. Well I need the other

sixty-thousand.

LORETTA:

What other sixty-thousand?

ED:

The other sixty-thousand you said

you'd give me.

LORETTA:

You misunderstood. I gave you

everything I have in the world:

Three-hundred dollars.

CLOSEUP - ED

He looks like he s going to throw up.

ED:

Oh my God.

CUT TO:

EXT. SOUNDSTAGE - DAY

The large stage door SLAMS shut.

Ed's disoriented cast and crew stand in the street. Bela, Tor,

and Loretta are still in costume.

Ed looks totally dazed. He blinks in the bright sunlight.

CUT TO:

INT. BROWN DERBY - NIGHT

We're back at the Brown Derby, for another backers party. The

same banner is hanging: "BRIDE OF THE ATOM -- NEXT YEAR'S SMASH

HIT!"

The whole crowd is there, dressed up. Bela sits in the corner,

knocking back a drink.

BELA:

Here we go again.

Paul whispers to Bunny.

PAUL MARCO:

So is Dolores coming?

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