Ed Wood Page #17

Ed blanches.

ED:

J-Janet Lawton???

LORETIA:

Yes, Janet Layton is clearly the part

to play. She's got some real meaty

scenes! Can't you just see me in

that part??

CU - ED

He is aghast. What a stomach-churning decision. He stares at

Loretta, then slowly croaks a response.

ED:

Uh... yeah...

(beat)

You'd be perfect.

CUT TO:

EXT. ED AND DOLORES'S HOUSE - DAY

We HEAR dishes being violently thrown. Dolores SCREAMS inside.

DOLORES (o.s.)

You bastard! You two-timing,

dress-wearing son-of-a-B*TCH!!

INT. HOUSE - SAME TIME

Dolores is crying and screaming angrily. Ed ducks the objects

she hurls at him.

ED:

It was the only way I could get the

movie made!

DOLORES:

Who do you think's been paying the

rent?! Who helped type your script,

and did all your grunt work?!

ED:

I'm sorry! What did you want me to

say?

DOLORES:

I wanted you to say, "No! I wrote

the part for my girlfriend Dolores."

ED:

But there's plenty of other parts.

DOLORES:

Like what?!

ED:

(nervous)

The secretary. Or the file clerk.

Dolores is stunned.

DOLORES:

YOU A**HOLE!

She hurls a pot at Ed. WHACK! It slams him in the head.

CUT TO:

INT. SOUNDSTAGE - DAY

The sets are being erected for "Bride Of The Atom"! The crew

hurries about the small stage, as Ed energetically supervises.

He has a large band-aid on his head.

ED:

This is gonna be Bela's laboratory,

so it should be real impressive!

Like one of those mad scientist

movies. I want beakers, and test

tubes, and one of those electrical

things that buzzes!

BUNNY:

You mean a Tesla coil?

ED:

If you say so.

Tor lumbers over, in his ripped Lobo outfit. His face has fake

gashed-up scars. Tor holds the script.

TOR:

Edvard! I haf question 'bout script.

My vife Greta, she read. And she no

like.

ED:

Really? Was the third act too

intense?

TOR:

(trying to be polite)

No. She tink Lobo is waste of my

time. Lobo don't talk.

ED:

But Tor, it's a starring part!

You're second billed.

TOR:

Bela, he talk. Loretta, she talk.

But Tor, he no talk.

Ed thinks. He quickly puts a spin on this.

ED:

Tor, dialogue is overrated. You look

at the classic film actors, who are

they? Fairbanks. Chaplin. They

didn't talk! They did it all with

their face.

TOR:

(still bothered)

But Greta say --

Loretta walks over, holding two dresses.

LORETTA:

Eddie, which dress do you like

better?

ED:

I don't know.

(he yells o.s.)

Hey Bill, which dress is better for

you, the green or the red one?

Cameraman Bill is standing at the camera. He squints.

CAMERAMAN BILL:

Which one is the red one?

ED:

(confused)

What do you mean?

CAMERAMAN BILL:

I mean I can't see the difference.

I'm color-blind.

(beat)

But I like the dark gray one.

WIPE TO:

LATER:

The crew is shooting on a spooky castle foyer set.

ED:

ACTION!

Bela enters, wearing a lab coat costume. As he slowly crosses,

the old man rubs his hands fiendishly. Ed YELLS live direction

through a megaphone.

ED:

Okay, you're Dr. Eric Vornoff.

You're upset. You've worked so hard

on this experisent, and you don't

want to see it fail.

(Bela stops, to "emote")

No, you're not that upset. You want

to keep moving. You wanna cross the

room.

(Bela exits)

Okay, CUT! BEAUTIFUL! PRINT IT!

Ed claps his hands triumphantly.

ED:

Alright, let's go immediately to

Scene 52. Tor, are you in place?

TOR'S VOICE

Yah.

ED:

Okay, CUE RAINSTORM!

Behind the window, Conrad pours a watering can.

ED:

And roll camera! ACTION!

Tor enters, but can barely squeeze his bulk through the door.

Finally he enters. Ed YELLS through the segaphone.

ED:

Okay, you're Lobo. You're upset.

You've worked so hard helping Dr.

Vornoff on this experiment, and you

don't want to see it fail.

(Tor stops, to "emote")

No, you're not that upset. You want

to keep moving. You wanna cross the

room.

(Tor exits)

Okay, CUT! PERFECT! PRINT IT!

OFF STAGE:

Bela talks to Tor.

BELA:

At Universal, they shot two scenes

a day. Eddie can knock off twenty

or thirty! He's incredible.

BACK ON SET:

Cameraman Bill leans in to Ed.

CAMERAMAN BILL:

Hey Ed, shouldn't we do another take?

Big Baldy kinda got stuck in the

doorway.

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