Ed Wood Page #16

AMAZED BACKER:

Bernie, get a load of this guy!

TOR:

(proud of his size)

Biceps 22! Chest 62! Stomach 54!

AMAZED BACKER:

Whew! You're quite a specimen.

(beat)

And you're gonna be in the picture?

TOR:

Yes. I play Lobo!

ACROSS THE ROOM:

An excited HICK BACKER shakes Bela's hand.

HICK BACKER:

Mr. Lugosi, I can't believe I'm

meeting you in person. This is one

of the most exciting moments of my

life.

BELA:

Thank you. And you are?

HICK BACKER:

Charlie Johnson! I manufacture

toothpaste tubes.

ACROSS THE PARTY

Criswell struts in the b.g., talking to someone.

CRISWELL:

I predict "Bride Of The Atom" will

be the biggest moneymaker of all

time!

In the f.g., Ed introduces Dolores to a SOUTHERN BACKER.

ED:

And this is lovely starlet Dolores

Fuller, who will play Janet Lawton.

SOUTHERN BACKER:

And how much will this picture cost?

ED:

In a normal studio it would be

half-a-million, with all their

wasteful overhead and fancy offices.

But because we're more efficient, we

can bring it in for seventy grand!

SOUTHERN BACKER:

Hmm. Well I'll consider it...

EXT. BROWN DERBY - LATER THAT NIGHT

Ed and his buddies wave goodbye to the departing backers.

ED:

Goodbye! Goodbye!

BELA:

(to Ed)

So how'd we do?

ED:

(faking a big smile, but SOTTO

VOCE to Bela)

We didn't make a dime.

IN THE PARKING LOT

A VALET hands the car keys to the Conservative Backer.

VALET:

That's twenty-five cents, sir.

The man glances at his Wife. She shrugs.

WIFE:

I gave all my money to the

babysitter.

The man grimaces. He checks his pockets, pulls out a handful

of PENNIES, and counts them out...

CUT TO:

EXT. ED AND DOLORES'S BACKYARD - DAY

Ed sits in a chaise lounge by the pool, studying papers and

drinking shots of whiskey. He's in a woman's pantsuit and

fuzzy slippers. Dolores marches out.

DOLORES:

Ed, the landlord called again. He

wants his money.

ED:

Tell him "Bride" is in pre-

production.

DOLORES:

Ed, the landlord doesn't care.

ED:

That's the problem! Nobody cares

about my movie! I'm tryin' so hard,

I don't know what else to do!

DOLORES:

Don't get angry at me. Maybe you

just need a day job.

ED:

(upset)

Dolores, don't you understand? I'm

a director now! I made "Glen Or

Glenda." Directing is my day job.

DOLORES:

(irate)

All I know is, ever since "Glen Or

Glenda," all you do is booze it up

and wear my clothes!

Suddenly Paul hesitantly steps through the back gate.

PAUL MARCO:

Uh, yoo-hoo. Excuse me! Sorry to

interrupt, but I got some big news.

ED:

(dour)

Yeah...?

PAUL MARCO:

Well my cousin Fred met this dame

from back East. She's from "old

money," and he thinks she's loaded.

And here's the kicker: She's very

interested in the picture business!

ANGLE - ED

He slowly smiles. It's like sun breaking through rain clouds.

CUT TO:

EXT. RESTAURANT PATIO - DAY

We're at a fancy outdoor brunch. Ed is shaking hands with

pretty LORETTA KING, 25, a pale brunette in a classy dress.

LORETTA:

Pleased to meet you. I'm Loretta

King.

ED:

I understand you just moved here?

LORETTA:

Yes. Hollywood is oh so exciting.

A WAITER walks over, with a water pitcher.

WAITER:

Water, Ma'am?

LORETTA:

(suddenly freaking out)

No! No water! NO LIQUIDS! I'm

terribly allergic to them!

The waiter is bewildered. He hurries away. Ed leans in.

ED:

So my associate Mr. Marco tells me

you may be interested in investing

in a motion picture.

LORETTA:

Perhaps a small amount of money.

(she smiles)

How much do one of your motion

pictures cost?

ED:

For this one, we need $60,000.

LORETTA:

That's all?? That seems very

reasonable for an entire picture.

Ed perks up. She's a live one!

Ed pulls a script from his briefcase and hands it to her.

ED:

Perhaps you'd like to look at the

photoplay.

LORETTA:

Oh my, this is very interesting.

(she skims the pages)

Say... do you think it would be

possible for me to maybe play one of

these parts?

ED:

(very enthused)

Oh, of course!! There's a couple

characters you'd be perfect for: The

secretary at the newspaper office,

or the file clerk!

LORETTA:

Hmm. Those sound kind of small.

(stopping at a page)

Oh, here's one that looks good: Janet

Lawton. I'd sure like to play her.

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