Ed Wood Page #22

g pink Cadillac convertible races down the

Ed and Criswell are in front, and Tor, Conrad and Paul

to the back.

TOR:

My head is cold.

CRISWELL:

You know how much this car cost me?

CONRAD:

Ten thousand dollars.

CRISWELL:

ONE DOLLAR! Miss Mae West

herself sold it to me. She said,

Cris, you belong in a pink

Cadillac!

Criswell turns to Ed.

CRISWELL:

Incidentally, you promise you're not

going to scratch my car...?

ED:

(cocky)

I told you, the octopus is made of

rubber. This is a piece o' cake.

EXT. REPUBLIC STUDIOS - NIGHT

The five men climb over a fence. They're breaking into

Republic Studios. Paul is panicked.

PAUL MARCO:

Ed, you said you were getting

permission.

ED:

Uh, I couldn't reach the guy... he

was in meetings all day. But this'll

be great, I promise!

Ed smiles at Conrad. Conrad shrugs. Tor struggles.

TOR:

I'm no good at climbink.

Tor gives up, and simply BASHES through the locked gate.

Everyone is amazed. Tor laughs.

TOR:

I'm good at bashink!!

CRISWELL:

Hey, keep it down. My publicist will

throttle me if we get caught.

They all sneak across the shadowy lot. Remnants of old scary

sets tower over them.

OUTSIDE A SOUNDSTAGE

They reach a stage door. Ed tries it -- but it's locked.

ED:

Oh. I thought they kept this open.

A pause. Everyone looks at Tor. He grins.

TOR:

Lobo will fix!

Tor grabs the heavy door and easily SNAPS the lock.

INT. SOUNDSTAGE - SAME TIME

This place is the mythic eclectic prop room. Guillotines,

rocketships, a stuffed vulture... strange mysterious props from

untold movies loom everywhere in the darkness.

It's a place of wonderment and fear.

The men stare in awe.

CONRAD:

Wow.

PAUL MARCO:

This place gives se the creeps.

Let's get the hell out of here.

ED:

Not so fast. First we have to get

it down.

Ed gestures above. Everyone glances straight up.

THEIR POV:

A giant OCTOPUS is lashed to the ceiling.

CUT TO:

LATER:

Conrad and Criswell are way up on the catwalk, holding onto

dangling Paul by his belt. Paul leans way out, reaching for

the octopus. He shouts nervously.

PAUL MARCO:

You're sure this is gonna work?

ED (O.S.)

Yes!

PAUL MARCO:

You're sure???

ED (O.S.)

YES! JUST DO IT!

WIDE VIEW:

Standing straight below is Tor. The Swede has his arms

outstretched, waiting.

Ed supervises a good distance away. He motions to Paul.

Paul gulps, then unties the octopus.

It drops incredibly fast. The thing must weigh half a ton.

Tor's eyes widen.

And the octopus smashes straight on top of him.

BAM!

Tor is gone from sight. One of the eight tentacles snaps off.

UP IN THE CATWALK

Criswell moans.

CRISWELL:

Oh my God. We killed him.

ON THE GROUND:

Ed runs to the octopus and looks for Tor underneath.

ED:

Tor! Are you okay?!

A beat. And then the octopus flips over. Tor sits up,

battered but smiling.

TOR:

Bedder than wrestlink!

EXT. REPUBLIC STUDIOS - NIGHT

The five men hurry across the lot, carrying the hubongous

octopus on their shoulders.

Suddenly, a FLASHLIGHT shines on them.

ANGRY VOICE:

Hey! What are you doing?!

The men jump with fear. They break into a fast waddling run.

CRISWELL:

Thank God Tor broke the fence.

The team runs through the busted gate and escapes.

EXT. STUDIOS - NIGHT

The Cadillac SCREECHES away. The octopus flops on top of the

five men.

WIPE TO:

EXT. GRIFFITH PARK - NIGHT

The movie crew is setting up for a big night shoot. Lights and

generators are sprawled across this isolated area.

Tony McCoy perches goofily on his own personalized chair. He

runs lines by himself.

TONY:

"Now Janet, I want you staying away

from the old Willows Place."

The octopus lays in a dried-up riverbed. There's only about an

inch of water. Ed yells at Conrad.

ED:

You don't understand! The octopus

is supposed to live in a lake!

CONRAD:

This is kind of a stream--

ED:

NO! It has to be UNDERWATER!

Ed storms away. Conrad scratches his head.

IN A DUSTY PARKING LOT

Bela sits inertly in the back of an open car. He weakly hails

over Ed.

BELA:

Eddie, I'm so tired... I don't know

if I can handle a night shoot...

ED:

Nonsense! You look great --

(suddenly he catches himself; he

speaks more sincerely)

Look, uh, why don't you lie down and

take a little nap? We'll film around

you for a while.

ED:

Thanks, buddy...

Ed smiles warmly, then walks off.

Bela stares after him, then absent-mindedly searches through

his pockets. Finally, he finds what he's looking for -- a

rubber tube. Bela looks to make sure no one's around, then

ties the tube around his upper arm...

AT THE SET - LATER

Crew members have dammed up the end of the river, and Bunny

fills it with a hose. There is now a foot of water.

Ed stands at the shore, admiring it.

ED:

Hey. This is looking good!

(he turns to Paul)

Paul, where's the octopus motor?

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