Ed Wood Page #36

ED:

Ain't that the truth! I've even bad

producers recut my movies --

ORSON WELLES:

Ugh, I hate when that happens.

ED:

(on a roll)

And they always want to cast their

buddies -- it doesn't even matter if

they're right for the part!

ORSON WELLES:

Tell me about it. I'm supposed to

do a thriller at Universal, and they

want Charlton Heston to play a

Mexican!

Ed shakes his head. He's discouraged.

ED:

Mr. Welles, is it all worth it?

ORSON WELLES:

It is when it works.

(solemn)

You know the one film of mine I can

stand to watch? "Kane." The studio

hated it... but they didn't get to

touch a frame.

(he smiles warmly)

Ed, visions are worth fighting for.

Why spend your life making someone

else's dreams?

CLOSEUP - ED

He has seen God.

ED:

Wow.

CUT TO:

INT. SOUNDSTAGE - DAY

Ed bursts onto the stage, a changed man. Re-energized, he

confidently grabs the Baptists.

ED:

Mr. Reynolds!

REYNOLDS:

Yes?

ED:

We are gonna finish this film just

the way I want it! Because you can't

compromise an artist's vision!

REVEREND LEMON:

(flustered)

B-but it's our money --

ED:

And you're gonna make a bundle. This

movie's gonna be famous! But only

if you SHUT UP, and let me do it my

way!

Reynolds and Rev. Lemon are speechiess.

CLOSEUP - ED

He beams, turns and SHOUTS TRIUMPHANTLY into the soundstage.

ED:

ALRIGHT! ACTORS IN POSITION! LET'S

FINISH THIS PICTURE!!

WIPE TO:

"PLAN 9" MONTAGE:

SCENE IN THE CEMETERY SET

Tor plays a zombie rising from the dead. He wears the scary

white contact lenses. Tor's so big, he has trouble lifting

himself from the grave.

EDITING ROOM:

Ed and his stock footage buddy watch a moviola.

ED:

Okay, I want that tank! And I want

that bomb!

SOUNDSTAGE:

Harry paints Bunny's face GREEN, like a Martian. Ed yells.

ED:

NO! The aliens should look like

people.

MAKE-UP MAN HARRY

I'm tellin' ya, aliens are always

green.

ED:

Not in my movie, they're not!

SCENE IN THE SPACESHIP SET

Bunny's make-up is now normal. He wears an alien

suit. A HAMMY ALIEN enters and salutes with a bizarre

crossing gesture.

BUNNY:

"What plan will we follow?"

HAMMY ALIEN:

"Plan Nine."

BUNNY:

"Plan Nine..."

(he consults his papers)

"Ah yes. Plan Nine deals with the

resurrection of the dead."

SCENE IN THE CEMETERY

Tor staggers up to Paul Marco and CLOBBERS him.

OFF-STAGE

Ed smiles at the Baptists.

ED:

Maybe you guys were right. "Plan

Nine" is a good title.

MINIATURE CITY SET

Ed shoots the famous flying saucers. Paul holds a paper plate

and Conrad lights it on fire.

The "saucer" soars on fishing line over a little miniature

town.

SCENE IN THE BEDROOM SET

Dr. Tom glides in, his cape over his face. A woman SCREAMS.

COCKPIT SET:

Ed stands in front of a masonite board and two chairs. An

actor playing the AIRPLANE PILOT walks up.

PILOT:

Where's the cockpit set?

ED:

You're standing in it.

(he yells off)

Alright, bring in the shower curtain!

A shower curtain gets lowered into the doorway.

EXT. DUSTY ROAD

A car zooms by. Kathy drives, as Ed shoots handheld out the

back window.

SCENE IN THE SPACESHIP SET

Th Hammy Alien argues with the humans.

PILOT:

"So what if we develop this solarnite

bomb? We'd be even a stronger

nation."

HAMMY ALIEN:

"Stronger? You see! You see!! Your

stupid minds! Stupid! STUPID!"

PILOT:

"That's all I'm taking from you."

He WHACKS the alien. A brawl breaks out.

SCENE WITH CRISWELL

Criswell lectures behind a desk, with mysterious lighting

CRISWELL:

"Perhaps on your way home, someone

will pass you in the dark, and you

will never know it. For they will

be from outer space."

SCENE IN THE CEMETERY SET

The famous shot:
Tor and Vampira walk in a trance through

foggy cemetery.

Off-stage, Ed stands with the crew. He shouts gleefully.

ED:

More fog! More fog!!

(he beams)

And CUT! PRINT IT! IT'S A WRAP!

END MONTAGE.

CUT TO:

EXT. CITY - NIGHT

It's pouring rain. Standing in the drench is Ed. He's wearing

a tux, and fighting with his open convertible top. The

Rambler is filled with water.

Kathy stands under an awning. She wears a pretty gown.

ED:

I can't get it to go up.

KATHY:

Ed, you're gonna miss your own

premiere.

ED:

(he gives up)

C'mon! Let's just go.

Ed impulsively opens the car door. Water pours out. Kathy

scurries out and jumps in the wet car with him.

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