Eddie Page #5

the Knicks can win?

- Yes, I do, but I think

they deserve a real coach

- That's what you are, Eddie

In your heart,

you are a coach

Why else would I be paying you

$50,000 to finish the season?

So I want you to get on that plane,

start takin' names

and kickin' butt

Go ahead

- [ Mutters ] Yeah

- I believe in you, Eddie

I believe you need the Knicks,

and I believe the Knicks need you

[ Players Talking ]

[ Talking Stops ]

Hi

Listen, guys, I just wanted to say

how really excited I am about this

This is the biggest thing

that's ever happened to me

I don't know what to say

It's so exciting

I'm lookin' at you guys, and I see,

you know, there's a great team here

There's a really great team

I just don't understand

why you're in last place

I mean, you, Mr Patton

I mean, if you could just

manage to pass the ball more

then we'd feel like

a more cohesive team

I think you have to look at it

as you're part of a whole, you know

And you, Preacher, you know,

I've seen you shoot from the outside

You gotta go for it more, shoot from

the perimeter You have the capability

That's my opinion, anyway

And Mr Duncan, you know you could lead

the league in rebounds

if you'd just get

that foul shot together

Frankly, it's really foul

That's a little basketball humor there

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ] Hey, Mr Hastings

You're terrific

You're really a terrific player

I just wish you could get your head

more in the game

No offense

Hey, Nate What can I say about you?

You're just the greatest there ever was

You know, you're just great

[ Chuckles ]

I wish we could clone you,

then your clones could teach

these guys what I'm talkin' about

Hey, Zim

Hey, how you doin'?

Hey, Ivan--

Ivan

Ivan [ Chuckles ]

Do you know what the word

"defense" means?

Ivan make basket

Cool

[ Chuckles ]

- We'll work on defense

- Defense

- Okay, cool

- Defense

You know, I just wanna say

that when we get

to where we're going

we're just gonna kick butt

We're gonna kick butt

We're on an away game It's breather

time now We're travelling

God knows we can do this

Don't you think so?

Yeah! Yeah

I don't get it, man

Is she the Gipper or not?

- Damn, you sure are white

- I can't help it

Ladies, my room is right here

I'll get to show you those

championship rings I told you about

- [ Murmuring, Talking ]

- Let's get it goin' now

[ Talking Continues, Faint ]

Hey, Ivan, remember what I said,

all right? P-H-A- Phat

See how the superstar on a two-on-one

fast break goes for the dunk

You saw my moves

out on the court

Come inside and check out

the rest of 'em

I don't know if we should go

in your rooms

Yo, baby, you phat

Oh, you're an animal

- Phat

- You the man

[ Yelling ]

"Separation and divorce"?

Come on, man

I don't need these, man

I been married

too long for this, man

[ Nate ] Hey, yo,

how phat was she, Ivan?

[Ivan ] Phat!

I got 50 bucks on this one

Look, I'm gettin' tired

Can we hurry this up?

[ Snoring ]

- I thought this was supposed

to be a practice

- This is a practice

- So how come nobody's practicing?

- Well

Jamal's shooting an album cover

Hastings is over there

with his divorce lawyer

- Stacy Patton's, uh--

- Asleep

- Asleep, yeah

- Does he sleep through every practice?

- No, just on game day

- Ah

No wonder it takes him

an average of four minutes

before he can get his first shot off

- So what are we gonna do about it?

- "We"? Leave me out of it, Coach

[ Chuckles ]

These kids are stars

They do what they wanna do

I got a mortgage and two kids

in college I don't rock the boat

The only boat that doesn't rock

is one that's not going anywhere

Hey, you're the head coach

You wanna get these

million-dollar egos to practice

their jump shots, be my guest

Okay

[ Blows Whistle ]

Ouch [ Chuckles ]

Come on, quit foolin' around

and shoot from game situations, will ya?

I'll show you a game situation

- Look, "T," ball!

- All right You go, man!

- That'll be four points from there!

- Dribbles to the basket!

He shoots!

- Oh!

- He scores! Yeah!

- Yes!

- Oh, so now you clownin' me, huh?

- This is my game situation

- I see How are the knees?

- They're old I'm old, Eddie

- You're not that old

In N B A years, I'm 138

- Really?

- 138

How old's that make you in doggie years?

Come on, let's go

- All right, you got it

- Let's go, ladies Come on

[ Crowd Cheering ]

- [ Players Chattering ]

- [ Eddie ] Pass the ball!

- Pass the ball!

- [ Patton Grunts ]

Come on, get your head

in the game!

Let's go!

This is just a publicity stunt for you!

You are not a coach!

You not a player, lookin' like

a little roach!

- Let's go, let's go, let's go!

- Switch it!

- [ Eddie ] Yeah!

- [ Fans Booing ]

Was that your mistake, Mr Rodman?

I think so

Your team doesn't know

how to play

- Bad shots, bad coach--

- Bad hair

At least I look good

For the moment

Get your earrings, baby

You look naked

Ball up!

[ Eddie ] Come on! Heads up!

Come on, let's go!

[ Whistle Blows ]

[ Player ]

Match up, match up, match up!

Mr Patton, I need you to double-team

the short guy, the cricket-looking one

If you wanna talk to Stacy Patton,

call his agent

- Match up! Match up!

- [ Buzzer Sounds ]

Next time they come,

they'd better bring a coach!

They play just as bad

with a coach!

See?

See what I told you?

You guys, if you'd listened

to me, you would not have gotten

slaughtered by the Spurs

You don't wanna practice,

you don't wanna hustle,

you don't wanna do anything

[ Players Murmuring ]

- What, did that shrink up in the water?

- [ Murmuring Continues ]

I thought it was gonna be

so much bigger It's like this--

- It looks like he got

a pimple on his thigh

- What's she talkin' about?

And the Knicks broke

an all-time record last night

They lost their 19th straight game

This whole thing

is getting ridiculous

- So what's the hard hat take

on Eddie Franklin?

- It's a joke, an embarrassment

It's a woman coach I'm just gonna give

my tickets to the wife

- So the gender is inappropriate?

- I got your gender right here

Know what I'm talkin' about?

Mr Mayor, the new coach of the Knicks

is a woman Your reaction?

It's a real breakthrough

for equal rights

She'll bring something

very special to it

- Do you think she can get

the team out of the basement?

- She can't do any worse

The Knicks were winning

when I was mayor

- You're a very photogenic young woman

- Well, thank you, Bill

And I tell you what, no matter--

I'm not gonna let you quit

- Why not? I'm not doing anything

better than Bailey did

- Oh, nonsense

Advanced ticket sales

are up 30 percent

- And you know what?

The fans love you, Eddie

- But the newspapers hate me

So what?

It's free publicity

What are you talking about?

We're losing

Eddie, listen, the Knicks did not

get into this mess overnight

and they're not gonna

get out of it overnight

I have every confidence

that you can do it

- I just don't have the same confidence

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