Eddie Murphy Raw Page #11

in his argument,

fucks up the lyrics

and thinks he's saying it right.

"I know you wanna leave me

"But I refuse to let you go, Lillian"

Then he f*** up,

think he's saying it right.

"lf I have to beg and plead

Do the symphony

"I don't mind because it means

That much to me

"You're not going no place.

"You be right here in this

motherf***er, Lil.

"Watching the ships roll in

"Then you watch them

Roll away again

"Lillian

"Because I put the rules up.

Like Diana Ross say,

"lt's my house

I live here

"And she sing in Spanish too, Lillian:

En my casa, I... Yo vivo aqui

"This is my house!

I don't give a f***!

"Do you hear this phone? I'm gonna

answer, because I know it's Shirley.

"And you not supposed to let

a phone ring for a half-hour.

"You let it ring two or three times

and hang it up.

"That's a lonely b*tch at the end

of that line. I'm gonna tell her.

"Hello? Shirley? B*tch, if you ever

let my phone ring like this again...

"Shir...? What's wrong...?

Hey, what's wrong with you?

"What you crying about?

Eddie, what's...?

"Eddie, what's wrong with you?

"What? You had a fight?!

Lillian, get my pistol.

"Who you have a fight with?

"What? A disco? With Deney Terrio?

"F*** you doing with Deney Terrio?

"And Jimmie Walker?

And your lips? And you shot...

"What? Lillian, Eddie had a fight

in a disco with Deney Terrio

"and shot Jimmie Walker.

"He shot him in the lips, Lil.

"Eddie, why'd you shoot

Jimmie Walker in his lips?

"I like Good Times.

"Oh, you took a shot in your lips?

"And you look like Jimmie Walker?

Oh, that'd do it.

"Who punched you in the lips?

ltalian? For what?

"What you mean 'nothing'? Nobody get

punched for nothing. What'd you do?

"Don't tell me 'nothing'.

You had to do something.

"What did you do?

No, don't tell me 'nothing'.

"Nobody gets punched for nothing.

What...? Eddie...

"No, don't say 'nothing'. Eddie.

Nothing from nothing leaves nothing

"Had to do something

"Motherf***er punched you

ln the mouth

"Now, what did you do?

What?

"Eddie. No... Eddie, then it's something

that you did a long time ago.

"Didn't I always tell you,

you reap what you sow? Yes.

"What goes around comes around,

Eddie.

"Yes, that's why that man punch you

in your mouth tonight,

"for something you did

a long time ago.

"Yes, Eddie.

Well, you give what you get.

"You get what you give.

That's why that man...

"Eddie. What do you mean,

you don't remember what you did?

"He probably punched you

for something you did

"when you was living here.

"I didn't catch everything that you did.

I worked all day, you played all day.

"Eddie, who broke that lamp in 1 9 7 1 ?

"lt was you! Yes, it was. That's why

that man kick your ass tonight.

"I'd appreciate if you go up and tell him

that your father says 'Thank you.'

"Save me a trip to California.

Because you never respect me.

"You never listen to what

I tell you to do.

"I put rules on the refrigerator

and you never obey my rules.

"Me and your mother want respect.

"You, Charlie and Vernon could not

respect me and your mother.

"All we wanted was some respect.

All we asked for was a little respect.

"How come you can't respect me?

How come?

"I'm a man. I want respect.

I want respect, Eddie.

"What we want

Baby, you got it

"What we need

I know you got it

"Because all I'm asking

"ls for a little respect, motherf***er

"When you come on home, baby

Hold on a minute.

"The kiss is sweeter than honey

"R-E-S-Z-C-P

Find out what you mean to me

"R-E-C-C-T-T-P

"Motherf***er,

you know how to spell it!

"Respect. You never had no

respect for me, Eddie.

"That's why the man kick your ass.

And when I was a child,

"I respect my parents.

And we didn't have sh*t. Okay?

"I had sh*t, Eddie. Me and my brothers

and sisters didn't have sh*t.

"I had 1 1 brothers and sisters, Eddie.

My father made 1 3 cents a week.

"He worked at the Coleco toy factory,

Eddie, and made 1 3 cents a week.

"That's not a lot of money

when you have 1 1 children.

"We didn't have all the fancy things

like you, Charlie and Vernon.

"We didn't have fancy luxuries

like food.

"What the f*** you gonna eat

on 1 3 cents a week?

"We had to eat whatever my father

brought home from work.

"We ate the toys, Eddie.

"We ate the toys

and we never complained,

"because my mother

could cook her ass off.

"My mother get some hot sauce

and some salt and pepper,

"make a Tonka truck

taste so delicious.

"The wheels will melt

in your mouth, Eddie.

"And you appreciate it.

You never complained.

"lt was all for one and one for all.

We stuck together.

"I only hurt my brothers

and sisters once.

"I came home from school

and my mother had made

"a birthday feast for my father.

"She had cooked and slaved

over the stove all day

"and made enough food

for 1 3 people to feast on

"for my father for his birthday

and I sat down and ate it all by myself.

"I ate it all, Eddie, by myself.

And my father came inside the kitchen,

"put his little birthday hat on

and he looked at all the children.

"He had a tear in his eye

and he said,

'Which one of you kids sat down

'and ate a whole f***ing game

of Monopoly by yourself?'

"And I ate it all, Eddie!

"Boardwalk, Park Place,

lllinois Avenue,

"the shoe, the boat,

the hat, the cannon,

"Connecticut Avenue,

Luxury Tax,

"Eddie, I even ate those cheap

purple motherfuckers after 'Go'...

"...that nobody buys.

I ate them.

"I ate Baltic and Ralph Avenue.

Yes, I did.

"I did, and I sat down and ate

my father's birthday cake too.

"No, we couldn't afford a cake.

"lt was two Etch-A-Sketches

on top of each other.

"Two Etch... Etch-A-Sketch cake.

That's right.

"We couldn't afford no icing,

"so my mother would write 'Happy

Birthday Pop' on the Etch-A-Sketch.

"Know how you made a wish?

You shook it till the words disappeared,

"then you ate the Etch-A-Sketch.

"And that was your birthday cake.

And we never complained.

"We were happy to get that.

All for one and one for all.

"We would get dressed to go to school.

Let me tell you about our clothes.

"We had to wear whatever my father

brought home from work, Eddie.

"We wore the toys!

"Each day my mother would wake up

and open 1 1 Twister games, Eddie.

"She would roll the Twister mats

on the floor.

"Me and my 1 1 brothers and sisters

"would wrap the Twister mats

around our body like a suit.

"Then we get a Hot Wheels racetrack

and put that around our waist as a belt.

"And if there was no Hot Wheels,

we used Johnny Lightning.

"And if there was no Johnny Lightning,

we ripped up a Hula Hoop

"and put that around our waist.

But we went to school, goddamn it.

"Other children would make fun of us

because we got on Twister suits.

"And it's no fun to get your ass

kicked in a Twister mat.

"Right foot, blue. Left hand, red, Eddie.

lt was a goddamn game to these kids.

"I'm standing on the corner,

"a motherf***er is spinning the

spinner and kicking my ass, Eddie.

"Then I gotta go to school and watch

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