Elektra Luxx Page #2

- It's not like that. I killed him.

What did you say?

Not on purpose, obviously.

I'm not a murderer...

"Ess," murderess.

I've never killed

anything in my life.

But if it wasn't for me,

Nick wouldn't be dead.

Did Father McKinley

send you?

Because he doesn't own

the community center.

My class is just as legal

as his Bible study is.

I don't know who that is.

- Have a drink with me?

- I don't know you.

Not yet. I can tell

we're gonna get along great.

Just one harmless

little drink, please?

One is my limit anyway.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING

OVER SPEAKERS]

You heard about the briefcase

Nick was carrying

with the lyrics

for the new record?

I heard it went missing. Someone

stole it from the airport?

- Yes, well...

- You stole it?

Shh!

- Why?

- For you.

- For me?

- And for him too, I suppose.

God rest his soul.

See, all the songs are about you.

How can you be sure?

Well, one is called

"Elektra Is Blue."

Another is called

"Luxx Super Deluxe."

There's also one called

"All Natural Sex Vixen."

One's called "Emotional Quicksand

With Her Ankles Behind Her Ears."

And there's a working title

"He's So Juvenile, She's So Adult."

Nobody's ever written a song

about me before.

Well, this guy wrote 15.

Can I see them?

You can have them.

- Thank you.

- Don't mention it.

This is so generous of you.

You committed a crime because

you thought it was unfair

for me to never know these existed?

I couldn't live with myself knowing.

- How can I ever pay you back?

- Don't be silly.

No, I mean it. I mean, if there

is anything you ever need...

Well, there is one thing.

Name it.

- I need you to seduce my fianc.

- Excuse me?

It's the only way I can

forgive myself and marry him.

I see.

You thought I would just

go ahead and do this?

Well, I figured with

your line of work,

...you wouldn't mind.

- I wouldn't mind?

Morally speaking,

in a professional sense.

My Benjamin, he's the guy,

you know?

He's intelligent,

he's kind, he's loyal.

And I just am so insanely guilty

over cheating on him,

- I can barely look him in the eye.

- So tell him.

Why would I tell him? I didn't

even consummate anything with Nick.

He talked about you while

I was giving him a blow job.

And then he hits his head, and it's just

not the kind of thing you tell a fianc.

Is it? Well, I mean, I know that

I will never ever do it again.

But how can he ever

really be sure?

In his mind, he'll always wonder if,

given the chance, would I do it again.

- So you thought if I seduced him?

- Well, just the one time.

I would catch you in the act,

he would feel terrible.

I would forgive him,

case closed.

I'm not even considering this,

but how do you know I'm his type?

We rented one of your videos

and I could tell he was into you.

You know the one where you

play the nymphomaniac twins?

I fell asleep, but when I woke up,

you ended up in bed with yourself.

- How did you do that anyway?

- Movie magic.

- Didn't it freak you out? I mean...

- I didn't write the thing and I'm retired.

Not to mention,

I'm a mother-to-be.

Oh, you can barely even tell. Not in

a million years, you look fabulous.

That was not my point.

I didn't mean to upset you.

This whole plan

is ridiculous.

Just forget the whole thing, okay?

I think I just needed to hear myself

say it out loud to realize how

crazy it is, but I'm fine now.

I'm back to my good old self.

Well, I should be going now.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING

OVER HEADPHONES]

Holly?

Holly?

- Elektra?

- What are you doing here?

Waiting for my girlfriend. We're

going to Mexico for the weekend.

- What happened?

- Just too many martinis.

- So I heard you quit the biz, huh?

- Yup.

- And you're teaching at a commune?

- No, I teach at a community center.

- Cooking class, right?

- No.

- Taxidermy?

- No.

- What is taxidermy exactly?

- Like how to stuff animals.

- With food?

- When they're dead.

No sh*t.

Look, I want you

to be completely honest.

- Am I the reason you quit?

- What are you talking about?

You walked off the Cowgirls set

during our big scene, remember?

That?

No, Holly, of course not.

Nothing to do with you.

Because my whole

oral-sex hang-up

was connected

to memories of my dog.

I'm pregnant.

- Oh, my God.

- I know.

- Is it yours?

- What?

- Is the father gonna be around?

- I'm gonna raise it on my own.

HOLLY:
You are?

- Mm-hm.

That is so inspirational.

I wish you were my mom.

Not in a weird way.

I'm just... I'm so thrilled.

Thanks. Have fun in Mexico.

It's not a romantic weekend.

Just my best friend.

Okay, have a blast.

Have you ever had a best friend

that you wanted to be closer to?

- What?

- Nothing.

- I hope you don't throw up too much.

- Likewise.

[TYPING]

Oh, hey.

I'm Bert Rodriguez, sex blogger.

Once again, you are tuned into

the frequency of the erotic,

the wavelength of all things carnal,

voluptuous, bawdy and epicurean.

Never lecherous, always ardent.

I'm referring, of course,

to the world of En Pelotas Magazine.

We now resume part two of

the greatest-living-porn-star series,

profiling the meteoric rise

and illustrious reign

of world-class professional

supernova Elektra Luxx.

We will bring you up to date

with Elektra today

and address shocking rumors

that have been sweeping

the adult film industry like wildfire.

WOMAN:
Did you see it yet?

- What do you want?

- Did you see it?

- See what? I'm kind of busy here.

There's like 15 comments

in the comments section.

BERT:
I'm in the middle of a

live stream. What are you doing?

- Check it out.

- Don't touch my laptop.

- I'm not gonna break it. Look.

- Give me this.

"Me likey the hottie

in the gallery.

Dang, I was wrong about you

being gay." Signed, Pork Grind.

I hate this creep.

- What gallery?

- Keep reading.

"This girl is perfect. Keep these coming,

En Pelotas." Signed Trilobite.

What did you do?

Olive, what is that?

You wanted original content, right?

- You broke into my site.

- Desperate times, desperate measures.

How did you guess my password?

Like "Captain Marvel"

was so hard to guess?

- You had no right!

- What's the big deal?

This is totally perverted!

- Where did you get those panties?

- I have a ton of panties like that.

I seriously doubt you have a ton of

panties that say, "All you can eat."

- Okay, maybe not a ton.

- I'm gonna be sick.

I think I look hot.

- There's something wrong with you.

- It's no big deal.

"No big deal," she says.

Look, what I mean is you're a dear

guy, brah, but no A.F. Einstein.

You call me "brah"? I'm not

your "brather," I'm your brother.

Your blog shows potential.

You have to take it to the next level.

You have no idea

what I am trying to do here.

There is a philosophy.

There is a sensibility and an aesthetic

that completely escapes your vulgar...

Your articles are cool.

You won't gonna generate traffic

unless you show skin.

That's what these weirdos read the

blog for. I was doing you a favor.

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