Ellen DeGeneres: The Beginning Page #2

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Why is she rolling it up?

I don't like to kill things, I really don't,

I'll try not to kill st, if I can avoid it,

I'll get it out of the house.

People like to kill things,

a spider gets in, whatever, kill it...

I will take a piece of cardboard

and I'll try my best to get it

out of the door, if I can...

anything, that is in the house.

Not anything, let me qualify that...

If it's a burglar, I'm not gonna

take a piece of cardboard...

OUT, OUT,... Sir... Sir... OUT!

If a spider gets in the house,

people wanna kill the spider right away.

Spider doesn't know,

you don't want it in there.

It's not like you posted signs

all over the place: "KEEP OUT SPIDER"

Which to me would be very arrogant

assuming they only speak English...

But our ego tells us, we are the only ones

that have any kind of feeling,

we're the only ones with the relationship,

we're are the only ones with family.

You know, I think that if you kill a spider,

there is a relationship that you are ruining

There is a conversation going on

outside with the other spiders:

Did you hear about Chris?

Sneaker...

And now Stephanie has 900 babies

to raise all alone...

She's got her legs full,

I tell you that, right now...

Chris was so kind, wouldn't hurt a fly.

It's just been though for them lately,

they just lost their web last week.

Those humans think, they are so smart...

Let them try shoot silk out of their bottom,

see what they could make.

It's true. Admit,...

if you look at a spider web,

that is magnificent to me...

Look at a spider web

and see what they can do.

Look at a bird's

nest and see what that is...

At least nature uses

every single thing they've got...

We don't, we're capable of so much more

and we just don't use it...

You know that Nelson Mandela quote:

Our deepest fear is not

that we are inadequate,...

our deepest fear is

that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness

that most frightens us...

"Bla, bla, bla,... " whatever he says..

It's true. They say we use

10% of our brain... 10%...

Imagine, what we could accomplish,

if we used the other 60%...

do you know, what I'm saying?

I like to think I am smart and I am

constantly reminded just...

left and right, that I am just not as...

smart as...

Every single time I drive my Toyota

Land Cruiser

into an underground parking structure,

I duck... every single time...

Don't trust it...

I am loosing my mind

just slowly the older I get,...

I am doing things that are starting

to scare me, like I'll be

walking out of the house,

I've just had a banana,

so I've got the banana peel in one hand

my car keys in the other hand...

I go to the trash,

I throw my car keys away and

I walk out with my banana peel.

Constantly doing things like that...

I forget people's names all the time..

that's a REALLY bad one for me...

People I totally should know, too.

They are coming up to me at a party night

I just start panicking and

I have to do that fake-out thing:

I am sorry, remind me again,

how do you pronounce your name?

['kath-ee], ok...

So the emphasis is

on the first syllable... ['kaeth-ee]

For some reason

I was gonna say [kaeth-'ee]...

Look at you...

I have a hard time staying focused

for long periods of time...

That's... I try,... I really try... I do...

Somebody is talking to me and

I'm there as long as I can possibly hold on.

and then I just driiiift off...

I don't know, where I go,

but I'm not here,

just the mouth

moving in front of me.

Have no clue, what it is, they're saying...

Then I realize I am gone and

I don't know, how long I've been gone.

So I start to come back...

I just catch the word "leotard" and

I am like "what the... " and I'm back...

And I am wondering, if they know

that I was gone and I am back...

cause my facial expression

has changed so drastically...

So I try to play with it like

what it looked like before,

so it wasn't so...

Still I am not listening,

cause I am worried about

my facial expression

and what that's looking like.

Then I totally go off again, like:

Is it everybody I talk to, is everybody

boring, or is it me, do I have ADD?

If so, I'm sure there

is some kind of clinic,

or some place I could

go get tested for that...

to find our for sure, but who's got

that kind of time and patience to...

call them up and make an appointment

and find out where they're located,

drive down there and take a test...

sit around and find out the answer...

I know I have ADD,

cause I don't have the patience

to go and find out, if I have ADD.

It's like people,

who take Ginkgo Biloba every day.

If you can remember to take it

every day, you DON'T NEED IT!

So anyway... so now I am back

and there is that space...

that silence...

they've clearly finished talking...

And you've no idea, what they said...

So you have to do that fake-out thing...

That is not good enough,

they're still kinda staring at ya...

Do, what I do, if I can help you out,

I am pleased to do it,

cause I know,

it's an awkward situation for all of us...

I always say something

about Gloria Estephan...

I'm telling ya, it works,

if you commit to it...

She can work in any conversation

you can possibly...

It could be like: "Whats that got to do

with copper plumbing?"

And you're like:
"Gloria Estephan is

the copper plumbing of the music industry. "

I mean, look at her, she's beautiful,

durable, reliable, indestructible.

Look, how she came back

after that bus accident,

are you gonna debate me on this?

And do that, that brings it on home...

I think people talk to much anyway...

talk, talk, talk...

Sometimes people're talking and

in my mind I'm like: "Shut up, shut up,... "

"bla, bla, bla... "

Right?

People are sc... alright...

Now you're with me...

People are scared of silence...

Aren't they? You find silence,

people always have to fill it with st.

The world is so full of noise.

It is so hard to find silence.

I believe that silence is golden.

It is the one thing I hold on to.

It is where all of our answers are.

It is, where our truth is, our passion,...

our path,... our everything.

All of the answers are in silence,

if you can find it.

I was outside not too long ago,

I tried to meditate.

I closed my eyes.

And I got to that still place,...

that everybody talks about.

Just for a moment, but I was there.

And the first message that I got...

so strongly and so clear was...

we are all one...

Every living thing,

we are all connected.

The next thing I felt

was this little tiny thing

in the palm of my hand...

there is this little mosquito

in the palm of my hand,

this little

prehistoric-looking creature...

this strange bug...

And I'm thinking about, what I just thought,

I look at this thing...

then I just killed it...

and then I went back

to my lovely state of being...

the next thing I heard was: "Would you like

anything else or will that be all?"

told the waiter I was meditating,

"idiot, thanks a lot for interrupting... "

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