Employee Of The Month Page #2

I'll see you guys later.

Hey, Zack, don't forget Sasha... Tasha...

Mikhal has soccer practice at 11:00.

- You're covering for me.

- Got it.

Excuse me,

do you have a membership card?

Sir, I work here.

- Really?

- What's going on, Joe?

This lady doesn't have a membership card.

- Oh, I'll take it from here, bro.

- Yeah, go to it, Zack.

Listen, I'm gonna let you pass this time,

but next time you might want to use

the "my dog ate it" excuse.

Maybe wear an eye patch or something.

Because nobody's gonna believe

you work here.

No seriously, it's supposed to be

my first day. I just transferred from 232.

- You're the new cashier?

- I'm Amy.

Hey.

- I'm sorry. I didn't...

- It's okay.

Nobody would believe...

'Cause you don't look like you would...

I'm Zack.

I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen.

Yeah, he gets a little stubborn sometimes.

You give a guy a badge and suddenly gets

- this false sense of power.

- ...a false sense of power.

- Jinx, you owe me a Coke.

- Jinx, you owe me a Coke.

- No way.

- No way.

Hi, there.

Check stand number one.

Head cashier, Vince Downey.

Vince Downey? I've heard of you.

You have the fastest hands

in the southwest.

Oh, boy. Well, I guess my reputation

has preceded me once again.

It's actually 9.1,

now that I set the southwest regional

speed ring competition record.

- That's amazing. I'm Amy Renfroe.

- Oh, wow. Renfroe.

Is that Nordic?

I don't think so.

Well I was just judging from

your Romanesque stature.

I assumed you were from Nordica.

Nordica, that's just north of Timberland,

right, Vince?

Oh, he's quick with a joke

or to light up your smoke.

I see you met Zack.

He's one of our box boys.

Yeah, he's in charge of the boxes.

- Box boy?

- Well, more of a Zack of all trades.

Zack, we still need some boxes

at check stand 10.

Minute.

So many boxes, so little time.

You know I just started my break.

I'd love to show you the store, if you'd like.

- Oh, my God. That'd be great.

- Yeah, let's start off in the cashiers' lounge.

- Okay. Nice to meet you, Zack.

- Nice to meet you too, Amy.

Wow. That's got to hurt.

Man, he is always doing that to you.

Stealing your thunder.

Remember the redhead in Gardening?

Bonked her behind the monkey grass.

And the Asian in Automotive.

Did her on a pile of carburetors.

Oh, and the blond in Frozen Foods

with the "Turkey's done!"

- You remember her?

- Yeah. But it ain't over yet.

Okay.

Russell, I need all the 411 on Amy Renfroe.

She's the new cashier.

- And I need that stat.

- Yeah.

- On it.

- Good.

Lilly, Daddy's coming home.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Come on, guys,

let's respect the sanctity of the clubhouse.

- How's that B-52 coming along?

- Oh, cherry.

Hey, guy, I got the 411

on your little Aphrodite.

All right.

I made some calls.

Got a buddy on the inside.

Cost me a dented cheese pallet,

but I got the scoop.

All right, come on, come on.

Apparently she requested the transfer

due to some romantic issues.

Okay, what kind of issues?

Well, I think she has a thing

for the employee of the month.

No way.

Yeah, that picture goes up on the wall,

she slides into the sack like a singed koala

looking for an all-night burn center.

- No sh*t.

- Yeah.

You know what? I don't believe it.

I know this. We had a moment.

Well apparently

your girl's having another moment.

- Let's go. Let's go.

- Oh, boy.

The bad news, you got carpel tunnel.

Check it out, guy.

He's the alpha male of the store.

Chicks always go after the alpha male.

They're like lions, kings of the desert.

And you,

you're just a little, tiny field mouse

dangling in the teeth of the lion,

while he's banging your chick.

No, wait a minute, box boy.

You're like the little hairy nutsack

on the little hairy field mouse,

swinging back and forth while

he's banging your chick, going back...

Russell.

Yeah?

Your metaphors are magical,

but shut the hell up, please.

Roger.

Just going back and forth, hairy

Kalahari-style, in and out with his big...

- Pete!

- Discovery Channel...

Well, fine. I'll win employee of the month.

What? Come on.

Seriously, how hard could it be?

Oh, you're kidding, right? You know,

you can't ever be late, ever, at all.

- Easy.

- And you can't get any complaints, guy.

Fine.

- Yeah, but you also have to...

- Go above and beyond...

- ...with your job description. Go beyond...

- ...and use your job description.

- ...the duties of your job.

- Way above.

I'm serious, you guys.

I'm gonna win employee of the month.

Having fun? I hope you wore protection.

You know, maybe you should listen

to your loser buddies, okay?

- You ain't got a shot.

- Okay, who's calling me a loser?

Easy there, Hubble Telescope.

No need to get physical.

No, I'm serious.

I can't see who's calling me a loser.

Well, I'll give you a hint.

He waxes his forearms,

and he lost his virginity in the Boy Scouts.

- Uncle Donny?

- Perhaps you've forgotten,

I have the fastest check stand

in the southwest region.

Southwest, man.

I'm gonna obliterate

the employee-of-the-month record.

- Obliterate it, boss.

- You're a dink.

You will not stand in my way.

- Bring it.

- I'll bring it, 'cause game is on.

And someone's going to get hurt.

But the someone is not gonna be me.

That means you, man.

I am the boss and I get the last word.

Damn it.

- All right, boss. I'm sorry.

- Jorge, shut up.

- Sorry.

- Jorge!

- Okay.

- God damn it!

He's going down. I'm gonna win.

Hey, Grandma.

Gram, come here, check this out.

- Remember this guy?

- Yeah. Didn't he have his own place?

I love you too, Grandma.

Yeah. Yeah.

What?

Hey!

Wow.

I was just warming it up for you, boss.

You wanna see what gets me warm, Jorge?

It's sweet. Is it leather?

Oh, no. It's pleather. Way better.

It won't fade or crack with age.

Hey, come on, stay off the glass.

So what are you gonna do

with your set of wheels?

Sell, most likely.

- How much?

- I don't know.

It's probably going to be

a multi-bid situation. Are you interested?

Of course. It means the world to me.

I'm gonna think.

No way.

Hey, good morning.

Good morning, Super Club people.

Zack Bradley just punching

in on the bright.

Extra effort. Doing it the Super Club way

by getting here nice and early.

And I'm punching my very own

on-time indicator.

Holy crap. You're really serious about this?

I told you I could do this. I can do this.

Here you go, Sam. Boxes, Mike. All you.

Here you go, Nick.

- Hey, what's up, Amy?

- Hi.

Do you need any more boxes?

No, thank you.

Okay. Well, listen, if there's anything else

you need, I'm gonna be here...

Five minutes or I'm buying!

Oh, please.

Like I said, five minutes or I'm buying.

And ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four,

three two, one!

Come on!

See, you can't beat a guy like that.

Yes, I can.

$230.45.

He'll take care of that.

I got to take my union-mandated break,

so, next show in 15 minutes.

Bye, Vince.

- You ready to do this?

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