Employee Of The Month Page #3

- Yeah.

Eagle Eye, this is Brown Trouser.

We are go. How?

Eagle... This is Brown... Brown Eye.

It's a go.

Clean-up on aisle 313.

You've gotta be kidding me!

- Not today!

- Oh, yeah. It's today, Vince!

- No way, Zack!

- I got it!

I almost had him.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Here you go, Zack.

If you pass out, you call 911.

Got it.

Let me guess. Vince?

You know I can't say. You know the rules.

Look away.

Pretty.

Yeah.

Looks like it's gonna be harder

than you thought.

Not to worry.

I've got 29 more days to leave a mark.

Looks like you already have.

Hey, don't forget.

Party at my house tonight.

Ain't no party like an Iqbal party.

Word.

Amy!

- Amy, hey.

- Hi.

- How you doing?

- Good.

Listen, I was wondering if maybe

you wanted to go to this party tonight.

I know you don't know a lot of people.

There's gonna be a lot of people there.

It might be kind of cool

if you want to go with me.

Oh, I actually have dinner plans with Vince.

Oh, well, that's cool. That will be good.

It'll be fun.

I gotta go to this thing. Going to be

a lot of friends and stuff like that.

I don't have to go, but... I mean, I do, but...

- I guess I'll just... I'll see you later.

- All right.

- And where's he taking you?

- Steaksmith?

- Classy.

- Yeah.

All right, my break's over,

so I'm gonna get some more water.

- Gotcha.

- It's free in there.

- Do you want some?

- Water?

No. I don't want any water. I'm good.

- Okay. All right.

- All right. All right.

- Bye.

- I'll see you later.

Enjoy your water.

Oh, hey, boxy lady.

Are you looking for your lounge?

I think it's over there.

Yeah, over there.

Over there.

Amy!

- Excuse me.

- How can I help you?

I dropped my glasses off this morning.

Are they ready?

- No.

- Isn't this "Glasses in an Hour"?

No. This is "Glasses in About an Hour".

- So when can I pick them up?

- In about an hour.

Are you staring at my breasts?

I don't know.

Freak.

Hey, Vince.

Vince! Hey, what's up, man?

There is a massive rumor going around

that you have a hot date tonight.

As a matter of fact, I do. With Amy.

Nice, man! Yeah.

- Whoa. What is this?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You hitting the gym?

Yeah, I'm hitting the gym.

I like to do some core work.

- Doing some squats?

- Yeah, I do. I squat it out.

Wow, it is working. What is that, pecs?

Doing some of that?

Yeah.

Okay! Just lay off, buddy.

- All right.

- Okay?

Listen, I'm going to tell you something.

You probably already know,

but first dates are so important, you know?

It's really crucial

that you make an amazing first impression.

I know you know that.

Are we through here?

That's it, man,

just have a good time tonight.

You are working out.

Jesus Christ. Where the hell are we,

Chuck E. Cheese-istan?

How many kids you got there, eight balls?

- Just 22.

- So, whose birthday is it anyhow?

Whoever blows the candles out first,

they get the presents.

Hey, Zack, that employee of the month

thing isn't really working out for you, is it?

What the f***?

Come on. Come on, you guys.

I think it's great.

There's honor in a good day's work.

There is no honor

working in that black hole.

Think about it, guys.

We could be working over there

at Maxi-Mart, and that place really sucks.

Pass me the chips there, eight balls.

Plus, I hear they make you wear

those house-arrest ankle-bracelet things,

the dog collars, on your ankles.

So they know where you are all the time,

and if you leave the main floor

you get a little shocker.

True.

I knew a guy in upper management, man,

went crazy.

Strapped one of those things

around his hairy ball sack,

ran out into the parking lot and blew a $3

Hawaiian wonder cooler all over the place.

Ids-kay. Ids-kay.

Knocked a little Korean kid

right out of his shopping basket.

Oh, speaking of $3

Honolulu wonder coolers,

isn't Vince going out with Amy tonight?

Yes, yes, he is.

But that could prove problematic,

since I have his wallet.

You want to get some pizzas

and some hookers?

I mean, why climb Everest

when you can set a land speed record?

- That's my goal.

- Here you go.

Zack.

I must have forgotten my wallet

in my other car.

Oh, well, for the fastest checker

in the southwest, it's on the house.

Wow. Thanks, Sandy,

that's really nice of you.

Are you kidding me?

A freebie is the least I can do.

You know what,

how about I go get you a dessert menu?

Oh, that'd be great, huh? Dessert.

She's one of my regulars

on check stand one.

Wow, your customers

seem to really like you.

You know, I care. Maybe that's my downfall,

but I think it's important.

Wow. Those are amazing.

So big and inviting.

Supple. Are they veneers? Is it a porcelain?

- These?

- Yeah.

Oh, they're mine.

It's like you have ivory smuggled in

or something.

It's intoxicating. I'm intoxicated by it.

Wow.

Well, that was a good evening, huh?

Yeah, it was great.

It's nice and early still.

You're not going to go to bed now,

are you?

Yeah, I think so.

Alone?

Okay. Okay. You sure?

Going once. Going twice.

Going three times. Okay, here we go.

- All right, good night. Good night.

- Okay, all right, okay.

Yes. See you at work, kitten.

- Hey, Vince.

- Zack.

Oh, I found your wallet

in front of the herpes medication.

Wanted to get that back to you.

Yeah, I was probably shopping

for your Christmas present there.

I don't know if you want the stuff

that was in it, but...

Very funny.

Oh, hey, Zack.

My date last night with Amy,

it was spectacular.

I mean, she is a good kisser.

Hey, good luck

getting one of those gold stars.

You got a little schmaltz

or something right...

- I don't buy it.

- Well, I wouldn't lie to you, it's a lot.

I don't fall for jokes.

Okay. Just right there. Just one... Okay.

I didn't fall for that.

- Wow, I really love this song.

- Oh, it's the best.

- Ten grand, huh?

- Oh, yeah, it's a steal.

This is the car that started it all.

And I got low miles. It's only got 33,000.

But you told me you flipped it, twice.

Exactly. 233,000. All highway.

That's nothing for an '81.

She runs like a top. Totally mint.

Mint?

I'll tell you what.

If you can find this particular model

with these low miles for less money, buy it.

Don't think about it, buy it.

- Can I take it for a spin?

- No.

- Well, can you give me a ride home later?

- No.

- Can you give me a ride to the bus stop?

- Absolutely not.

Well, can I stay here with you

and listen to the rest of the song?

Absolutely.

Hey, Zack. Oh, Sustan's got soccer practice

at 11:
00. Can you cover for me?

- You got it.

- You're a pal.

- Hey, fellas.

- Hey.

Can you be on the lookout for a little boy

in a red shirt? He's really lost.

- Vince know about this yet?

- No.

Okay, could you keep this on the Q for, like, two minutes?

I guess so.

That's probably him.

I'll check it out.

Come on! Yeah!

- No unauthorized use of the equipment!

- You want a piece of me?

- Get away from the machine!

- You'll never take me alive!

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