Employee Of The Month Page #6

I have a little sister, sir,

and she can be very cruel.

- I'm sorry.

- Thank you.

Hey, guys.

How many pallets are we talking about?

Well, where the hell is he?

You know, we can't keep playing

Texas Hold 'Em with three. It sucks.

- Cashiers have different break times.

- Yeah, well, it sucks.

I think he's gone to the dark side, guys.

- He wouldn't do that.

- It sucks.

- What?

- Okay.

There's only four people in the world

that know about this place.

And I don't think either one of us did this.

- So, who's the odd man out, huh?

- Sucky Zack.

He wouldn't do it on purpose, guys.

This is his lounge, too.

Not anymore.

- What, is it Zack?

- Check it out, eight balls.

- Tell me it's not Zack.

- I said it's him.

I knew it. He sucks ass.

Hey, what's up?

I have plans for tonight,

if you're interested.

Love to.

All right, I'll pick you up at your place

at 9:
30.

- Okay, cool.

- Okay.

Excellent.

Hey, buddy, take a seat.

Welcome.

I won't bite. Come on.

- Nice, huh?

- Yes.

Downright decadent.

You know, the soda machine's free.

Yeah, yeah, I heard about that.

That's amazing.

Please, have a drink.

Yeah, yeah, thank you. Thanks very much.

Look at this, no dents.

Not in here.

Nice, huh? Cheers.

Oh, boy.

Look at us here, just a couple of soldiers

on the field of battle.

Sitting here like a couple of old gay sailors.

What are we doing?

I'll tell you what. Let's, you and I,

put our differences behind us.

You back off, I win E of M.

I get my car. Malibu.

I get the girl, I get the promotion.

When they buck me up

to assistant manager,

I'm gonna do you a solid.

I'll let you keep your job.

What do you say?

Thanks for the Coke.

Well, I've got something to say to you.

Nobody is going to stand in the way

of me and my Malibu.

Not a wall of fire.

And as for butter buns, she's all mine.

So you can forget about that.

- And does Jorge know about her?

- Jorge's none of your business.

Who do you think she'd rather be with?

Some little lowly box boy

who fell ass-backwards into a job title,

or King Dick, head cashier and winner

of the southwest regional

speed ring competition?

Let me think about that for a second.

Hmm. I would say...

- The answer is me. Head cashier, smart-ass.

- I wouldn't be too sure about that, Vince.

I got bad news, bro.

Game over. I'd watch my back if I was you.

- Were.

- What?

- "Were you."

- Watch out.

Hey, guy.

What the hell happened

to our lounge, man?

I know what you guys are thinking,

all right?

But I'm three days away

from winning this thing.

I just gotta do what it takes, all right?

Small sacrifices.

If I put some cheese up in the clubhouse,

you guys got to suck it up for a little bit.

You know, it's just a temporary thing.

You with me, yes?

Trust, is it right there?

This is what I'm thinking.

At the end of this thing,

if it goes the way I think it's gonna go,

I'm gonna be able to get you guys

into that lounge.

I know it. Cool?

I can see it. It's cool. All right.

Ass.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- You look nice.

- Thank you. So do you.

Clear. Come on. Come on.

- Do you know the plan?

- Si. Got it.

Okay.

- What is that smell?

- It smells funny. I don't know.

- Oh, God, did you fart?

- No.

- Where did you get these pantyhose?

- I got it from my mom's gym bag.

- Did you get them all?

- Si.

- What are you eating?

- I don't know. It's like a salmon churro.

- It's rancid.

- It's pretty good, homes.

What are you doing?

There are no weapons in this mission.

I will not do time for you.

I will roll over on you.

You said you were a Mexican,

not a Puerto Rican.

Thanks again. I had a lot of fun.

Yeah, I did... Did, too.

I didn't know anybody really ever won

these things.

- Well, I've tossed a lot of dimes in my day.

- I bet you have.

- Well, good night.

- Good night.

All right.

- All right.

- All right.

- Drive safely.

- Okay.

What? No! No! No! Sh*t!

Twelve minutes! Sh*t!

Vince.

Oh, I love the smell of a championship

in the morning.

Have you guys seen Zack this morning?

- What?

- Nothing.

We haven't seen

box boy Zack this morning.

Move. Move. Move. Coming through.

Excuse me.

Too close. Too close.

Move!

Is that all you got?

Where's my card? Where...

No. No.

Yes! It's over. Of course.

Hey, Zack.

Mikhal's championship game is this Friday.

On it, Iqbal.

- You are...

- Right on time.

Thank you, Iqbal.

No!

It's a large item.

I'll have someone bring it up.

It's a great shirt.

There you are. Radio.

Check stand one. We've got a bulk item.

"Piece o' sh*t Honda" on aisle 116.

On it.

Vince, I think you're gonna wanna see this.

Watch the stand for me, Jorge.

What kind of a sick animal?

God damn it. Someone get this down.

- Is there a problem here?

- Yeah, that is my car.

No, no, no, I bought it. Here is my receipt.

The only thing that you own

is that crazy Hawaiian shirt.

This is my vehicle.

Hey, I need to see a manager right now!

Where is he?

Technically, if it's on the rack and in

the system, we're required to sell it to him.

If we don't,

he's threatening to write a complaint.

- Fine.

- I'm sorry.

Sometimes third gear sticks a little.

You gotta give it a little wiggle.

I... Oh, all right.

I can't believe you sold your wheels

to that dude.

- You promised.

- I had to.

And for $9,980 less

than what you would have charged me?

If I didn't, he was going to write me up.

One complaint, I'm out of the game.

I'm sorry, wingman.

I'm not your wingman anymore.

You can't be serious.

You're nothing without me. You're...

Yeah, baby. Read 'em and weep.

Looks like somebody's gonna need

a ride home.

Well, well, well, 15 to 14.

You gave me a pretty good run

back there, buddy.

But tomorrow is the last day.

When I step out onto that softball field,

pop a couple dingers,

it's going to be celebration time

in my new Malibu.

Well, Vince, you know what they say.

It ain't over till your mama sings.

Bad news, guy. Mama don't sing at all.

Face.

As you know, Corporate,

a.k.a. My big brother, Glen Ross,

will be attending the game.

So, it's very important to me

and to all of you

that we beat Maxi-Mart today.

- And, since the passing of...

- Janet.

...Janet, we are in dire need

and could really use an outfielder.

Anyone? Anyone. An outfielder, so...

Anyone? Somebody?

Anyone at all? Some... Zack Bradley.

- You're our guy.

- Yeah.

- Okay. That's good.

- Yes.

Okay. All right.

Everybody, be safe out there.

Wish me luck.

- Hey, hey, Zack. What are you doing?

- I'm going to the softball game.

You were going to cover for me.

Mikhal's game, remember?

I'm sorry, I can't.

But it's a championship.

- I got it.

- You sure?

- Yeah, I'm cool.

- You're a good friend.

Thanks.

All right, bud.

Damn it. Why are our uniforms pink?

We accidentally washed them

with the red socks.

Play ball. Super Club, take the field!

- Take the field!

- Oh, no.

Seven, eight, nine... Dang it! We're short.

You know, I didn't mean that. We're...

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