Encino Man Page #6

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Make it quick.

Thanks.

[ Phone Ringing ]

Matthew Wilson !

Hello.

- Robyn ?

- Robyn.

Dave, did you guys get away okay ?

We're in prison.

Look, this is my one phone call.

l'm using it to ask you

to go to the prom with me.

Just say yes, okay ?

[ Sighs ]

No.

- Why not ?

- l wanna go with Link.

- What?

- Will you ask Link if he'll go with me?

You want me to what ?

Look, l'm sorry.

l'll tell you what.

We'll all go.

We'll have a great time.

How about that ?

Dave ?

[ Stoney Yelling ]

Hey !

Como esta usted ?

Muy bonita...

es la dia.

Hey, wait.

How was jail ?

Did you meet anyone ?

Hey, wait !

Wait up.

- Things just didn't turn out right.

- Ugh.

l mean, l don't want 'em cuttin' you up

into little pieces.

This is just what's best for you.

lt's best for me too, all right ?

Here.

For Rad Mobile.

- For Rad Mobile.

- Yeah.

Put 'em in your pocket.

Don't look at me like that.

This is just the way it's gotta be.

Go on, get out of here.

Go on.

Go on, leave.

Go.

l'm sorry.

[ Stoney ]

Hey, hey, hey !

Talk to me, David.

Let me know what's going on, man.

- What are you doin' ?

- l'm letting him go.

- What ?

- l can't handle him any more.

-He'll be better off with somebody else.

-No, he's not!

Listen to me.

Call him back.

- l can't take it any more.

- l'm not kiddin'. Call him back.

- lt's done, man.

- l'm serious.

Call him back.

That's harsh.

He's not my responsibility.

You're the one who weased off his gig

the whole time...

'cause you thought

maybe he'd get you somewhere.

Now the guy gets a little crusty

and you're gonna bag him.

lt's not happenin', Dave. That's not

how it works with friends, man.

You don't bag your friends 'cause they

get in the way, no matter what, dude.

Like you care ? The only thing you cared

about is nugs, chillin' and grindage.

- l happen to care right now.

- That's convenient.

You came along for the ride

and let me do the dirty work...

'cause you thought

it might work to your advantage.

Those are desperate words of a loser.

Maybe Matt Wilson

was right about you all along.

Take that back.

- No, you take it back.

- Take it back !

You're a loser.

- [ Link ] Family !

- All right.

- l'm sorry.

- Family.

You can let go, Link.

- l'm sorry, man.

- lt's okay.

l don't know what got into me.

l'm sorry.

l didn't mean it, Stoney.

l'm sorry, bud.

Ow !

You look great.

Have a good time.

You deserve it.

- [ Doorbell ]

- [ Sniffing ]

- lf you touch her--

- Ugh.

- You think they're ready ?

- l don't know.

Dave ?

Dave, hey.

Hey.

You're not ready.

l, l can't go.

Of course you can.

Just go upstairs, put something on.

No, really, l can't.

l'm on probation.

l'm grounded.

- Hi, Link. You look great.

- Hi.

You guys go.

Have a good time. Go on.

- No, no, no. Come on.

- Come on, Dave.

- Go.

- Are you sure ?

Go, have a good time.

Go, Link.

Get outta here.

Have a good time.

Drive safely.

God, she smells good.

[ Dave ]

To Link.

May he have a cool time at the prom.

Totally, bro.

To Linkage.

[ Sighs ]

There's always college.

Junior college.

[ Matt ]

Link, get down here.

Give me a boost.

[ Grunting ]

Whoa.

[ Laughing ]

Gotcha.

[ Crashing Sounds ]

- [ Sister ] Dave !

- Stoney, come on !

Hey, what are you doing ?

Give me back those pictures.

No !

-Get back here! They took the Polaroids!

-Uh-oh.

- Come on.

- Those are our pictures !

[ Rumbling ]

[ Dog Barking ]

[ Applause, Cheering ]

lt's unanimous.

The vote for prom king...

- goes to...

- Wait !

- What's going on ?

- Wait !

Ugh.

What are you trying to do ?

Come on, stop it.

This is our school, right ?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

We have a right to know

if somethin' bogus is goin' down...

in our school, right ?

- Yeah.

- Right.

This homey right here

has taken you for a ride.

His name isn't Linkavitch Chomofsky,

and he's not from Estonia.

Matt, will you just stop this already ?

Shush ! Trust me.

They've all been lying to us.

But l found out.

l know the truth.

- Do you wanna know the truth ?

- Yeah !

Do you want to know what he really is ?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

[ Girl ]

Tell us the secret !

He's a caveman.

[ Cheering ]

No. No !

Look, he's a freak !

[ Applause, Cheering ]

- l got pictures !

- No !

- See ?

- Let me see those pictures.

Give me back those pictures.

Give me those !

- [ Matt ] No !

- [ Robyn ] Dave !

Hmmmm.

What are you doin', fag ?

[ Cheering ]

[ Stoney ]

Go, go, go !

Watch, watch, watch.

[ Link Yelling ]

Uh-huh.

Shush !

# Ow #

# She likes to feed the monkey

She likes to feed the monkey #

# She likes to feed the monkey

She likes to funky #

# Well, gather 'round

and let me tell ya all a story #

# About a boy and his monkey #

# He's got that kind of monkey

that the girls wanna know #

# He likes to take his monkey

every place that he goes #

Ow-o-o-o !

# Hey, ho

Just say the monkey #

- Watch this.

- Okay.

# l didn't really know

how do you get so hungry #

# l'd like to know

would you be my monkey #

# Monkey likes to do

the wild thing #

# My monkey don't scratch

My monkey don't bite #

# My monkey don't swing in no tree #

# My monkey don't trick

My monkey don't fool #

# My monkey be swingin' with me #

# My monkey don't freak

My monkey don't hit #

# My monkey don't wear no cape #

# You can tell when my monkey

wants to eat #

# 'Cause he turns into a big ol' ape #

[ Making Monkey Sounds ]

[ Horns Honking ]

What you did was pretty cool.

- Who cares about cool anyway, right ?

- Right.

There's one really cool thing

l wanted to show you.

What ?

This.

[ Cheering, Laughing ]

- Oh, Dave !

- Hey, buddy.

[ Alarm Ringing ]

[ Yelling ]

[ Stoney ]

lt's your cave nug.

Ugh.

[ Screaming ]

- Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha !

- Ow-o-o-o-o !

[ Link, Stoney ]

Yeah ! Ow-o-o-o !

Oh, yeah !

Yeah, buddy.

She is so greasy !

- Duh-h-h-y !

- Ah ! Hey.

Buddy, ow-o-o-o !

Yeah !

l'll be ba-ack !

# Wow #

# Oh, yeah, stoners #

# What's up, bro

Ow-o-o-o #

# Buddy, fiesta #

# Do you need a woman

got the look in her eyes #

# Wanna cut me down to size

Show me what you're gonna do #

# lt's true #

# Who's that gorilla

standing by your side #

# Oh, no

That must be your bride #

# You wouldn't be with such a fool #

# Or your mama too #

# There's somethin' over here

l want you to see #

# There's a party

but it isn't for three #

# Get somethin' straight

between you and me because #

# Oh, no, you're invited

but your friend can't come #

# Whoa, no, no, come on, baby

Gonna have some fun #

# Wow #

# Heartbreaker, yeah

You came for the show #

# But little did you know

you'd end up in the spotlight #

# Well, all right #

# Come on, babe

won't you show me what you got #

# Ready or not #

One, two !

# Here we go #

# Oh, no #

# l'm makin' plans

for the rest of the night #

# So tell your father

that he better not bite #

# My dogs are bigger

and l'm ready to fight #

# So come on, come on, come on

Give it up tonight #

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