Envy Page #4

[J-Man] You got to shake things up.

Over there, man.

Shake them up.

Shake things up.

Shake them up.

[high-pitched whinny, thudding]

Huh?

Corky.

My God. How is this possible?

How could a little arrow

kill a big horse?

Come on, Corky.

Corky, come on, come on.

lt's just a little arrow.

Come on, Corky.

Giddy up, boy.

Corky. Giddy up. Giddy up.

Corky.

Okay, Corky.

Come on, boy. One, two.

Come on.

Sh*t.

Sh*t. God.

Come on, Corky.

[yelling]

[J-Man] Hey.

Cock-a-doodle-doo.

Car return.

How's that for service?

l'd probably still be driving a limo

if it wasn't for the hat.

Hats.

Hats make my head itch.

- What time is it?

- You got a time hang-up, don't you?

Oh, God.

- Look at me.

- l was thinking the same thing.

You are one big stinking pig, Tim.

- How'd you get my keys?

- Keys?

The J-Man don't usually need keys,

my little dumbbell pal.

So, that's the place?

Look at it. All from sh*t?

l see what you mean.

l don't even live here and that place

is pulling my testicles up.

l mean, literally,

they're actually coming up.

You ever get that?

l killed his horse.

- What?

- l killed his horse.

That story you were telling

about shaking things up...

l went over there and

l shot this bow and arrow,

and l shot at my house

and l hit his horse.

He was eating apples in my yard.

There was a hole because we were going

to have a pool and l buried him in it.

- Well, now.

- [Lula] Daddy! We're home!

No!

lt's my family.

- Hide!

- Hide?

Hide! Hide.

- Hide? Can't l just mosey off?

- No! Don't mosey off.

No, you can't mosey off.

They'll see you!

- So?

- So? So, what are you doing here?

Who are you?

You're some guy from a bar.

What's wrong with...?

l'm the J-Man, bringing your car back.

Daddy!

- Hey, tiger!

- Daddy!

- Hey, peanut.

- We all really missed you.

You look terrible.

Honey, one question.

What is at the heart of everything?

What l'm asking you is:

What is at the heart of the heart

of the heart of the heart?

Do you know what the answer is?

Self-love.

Windsong told me that l have been

hating myself for resenting you.

And you've been resenting yourself

for passing up on a big opportunity.

What we need to do

is we need to focus on what we have.

[screaming]

Hey! Oh, hey!

This is... This guy...

Honey...

this is...

This man is the man...

who was in the bathroom.

l didn't tell you.

Honey... something happened

while you were gone, something bad.

What?

l'll take it from here, Tim.

Mrs. Dingman...

l'm Elmo Carp, pool rep.

Your husband and l were up here

discussing your swimming pool options.

- Swimming pool options?

- Yes.

You see, we dug it,

we had to fill it back in.

We're sorry as heck.

Where do we go from here?

That's the point we were at

when you barged in.

l don't understand.

Fill it back in?

So you mean we're not getting a pool?

No, sonny boy, l'm afraid not.

Too many gosh darn pipes.

- Pipes?

- Yes.

Underground pipes in your yard,

but l've intruded enough

on your little family reunion here.

l'll be on my way.

And thanks for filthying up

your clothes,

helping me fill in the big hole, Tim.

Ma'am, your husband's

got the back of a coal miner.

l know because l've mined coal.

See you.

Something's happened to Corky.

- What?

- [kids] Corky?

- Have you seen Corky?

- l haven't seen Corky.

- Corky's gone?

- Have you seen Corky?

- l have not seen Corky.

- That's what l mean.

We've been looking and looking.

Where could he be?

- A great big horse, where?

- Nick, a horse can't just disappear.

- He's got to be somewhere.

- Yeah, but where?

Where? Where?

The kids are a mess.

Wish me luck.

Corky!

[Nick] Corky, come on!

Good afternoon.

My name is Natalie Vanderpark.

l'm running for state senate

in your district.

So l thought l'd

canvass the neighborhood

and introduce myself to everyone.

[man] Who it is, Mable?

lt's that woman running

for state senate, Carl.

The sh*t lady? No way.

We're going with Shaunessey.

Your opponent Shaunessey,

he asked a good question

on the radio this morning.

And what question was that?

Well, didn't your husband get loaded

making turds disappear?

My husband invented Vapoorize,

if that's what you're referring to.

That's what Shaunessey

was talking about.

Where do all them turds go?

l mean, they got to be somewhere.

First they're here,

then they're not here,

and then they disappear.

Where does the turd go to?

Really, tell me now.

~ [Envy reprise]

So long, everybody.

- Bye, have a good day at work.

- Bye, Daddy.

- Bye, honey.

- Good luck at the salt mines, Dad.

Where am l going?

Wait. Timmy, wait!

Wait! God.

Timmy, l can't find him.

l've been looking all night

and he's nowhere.

l know he's just a horse, but...

Corky.

Corky! Where are you,

my Corky boy?

[hysterical crying]

God, look at me.

This is crazy.

Will you pass these out

down at 3M for me?

l found some grooming hairs

in his tail brush.

[wailing] My God.

- $50,000?

- [yelling] lt's pennies!

lt's pennies. Who cares?

Corky's my pal.

He's my pal and l'd pay $50,000 to

find you if you were lost, wouldn't l?

- Yeah.

- Wouldn't l?!

- Okay.

- [weeping uncontrollably]

All right.

lt's going to be okay.

All right.

lt's going to be okay.

~ [Envy reprise]

Are you insane?

That is the most selfish thing

l ever heard in my life.

The guy loves you, man.

You'd be killing your best friend.

You killed his horse, right?

You killed his horse.

Now you want to tell him?

You tell him.

What about this?

We move the horse someplace else.

l find it, l get the reward.

l'm bending over backwards here.

How do we move a horse?

We dig him up. We haul him off.

No, l mean...

without anybody seeing us.

You ever hear of night?

What about the noise?

My family's right there.

l don't want them to...

You don't move the horse, l do,

while you and your family

are enjoying nature,

down at my cabin on the lake.

- You have a cabin on the lake?

- What?

You think l didn't have a childhood?

Bunk beds, hiking trails, hooty owls.

You can move a horse by yourself?

For 50 grand.

But l will say this:

Knowing what l happen to know

about things buried,

the sooner the better.

- [Tim] Hey, Deb?

- [Debbie] Mmm-hmm?

How'd you like to go

to a nice cabin on a lake?

- Cabin on a lake?

- Yeah.

This guy at work offered his cabin.

lt's supposed to be really nice.

- Who at work offered you this?

- Jackameyer.

Jack... Jack Jackameyer.

[Tim] lt's an hour from here

and it has all sorts of wildlife...

and hooty owls and stuff.

[Tim] Hiking trails.

[protestors] Where does the sh*t go?

We want to know!

Where does the sh*t go?

We want to know!

Where does the sh*t go?

We want to know!

[chanting continues]

Pretty incredible, huh?

Whoa!

Watch out. lt's okay.

What a spot.

What do you mean, ''what a spot''?

l mean, where...

He said it's just down at the end

of the private driveway.

What private driveway?

This isn't a private driveway.

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