Envy Page #5

This is pretty private, honey.

l mean, this is great.

Talk about secluded.

We've walked, like, a mile.

lt's not a mile, honey. lt seems longer

because it's so beautiful.

Tim!

- [Lula] Mommy, where's Daddy?

- l don't know, honey.

- [Mikey] l'm thirsty.

- Okay.

- [Debbie] Tim!

- Whoo! l found it!

lt's a little sloping incline

down to the...

[yelling, grunting]

This is it?

[Tim] You bet this is it.

This is...

This is wild, huh, kids?

Kind of like a... Like an old

gingerbread house in the woods.

Where's the lake?

l'll tell you what. Why don't

we check out the bunkhouse, okay?

And then you guys can have a contest to

see who finds the lake first, all right?

Winner gets 50 cents.

50 cents. Come on.

Let's check it out.

Okay. Weird smell.

Let's hold our noses. Come on.

lt's okay, Mikey, come on in.

[all screaming]

- My God.

- [Tim] lt's okay.

Just a little critter. Just...

Don't touch it. He's dead.

Under no circumstances

is this a lake.

Maybe there's a tide.

No one could ever find this lake.

Congratulations,

you saved yourself 50 cents.

[rustling, footsteps]

[owl hoots]

[whispering] What is that?

Tim?

Yes?

Tim?

Yes?

You're Tim?

Yes, l'm Tim.

The J-Man says, ''Come quick.''

Come quick?

Yeah, come quick.

That's it.

Now, when you see the J-Man,

you tell him we're even.

And Bosco says,

''Up your ass with Mobil gas.''

Okay.

What will you tell the J-Man?

l'm going to tell him that Bosco

says we're even

and up your ass with Mobil gas.

Mobil gas.

lt's Jack's neighbor,

he needs some help.

Neighbor?

That's right, Bosco,

he's as nice as Jack,

but his car's stuck

so l'm going to help him, okay?

l didn't see any neighbors.

What? You think Bosco would lie?

Why would Bosco lie?

l'll go get him right now if you want.

Okay.

- Okay?

- Yes.

Yes, l'd like to ask him

about this hellhole.

l don't want to bring him in.

He's big.

- You know, the floorboards.

- How big?

- How big?

- Yes.

Big. He's like a bear of a guy

with, like, a little head.

l don't know what that means.

Look, l'm going to go help this guy

because Windsong would sure

as hell help this guy. Okay?

l'm going to be back.

Just go back to sleep, okay?

[grunting, gasping]

[phone rings inside]

- What's wrong?

- lt's for you.

Don't hassle me about crumbs, man,

because l am on

the edge of the edge.

Hello?

[Nick] Natalie stormed out

of the bedroom.

We had a terrible fight.

You got to come over here now.

I know you got your Army pal

over there.

I didn't know you were in the Army.

If I can come over...

No, l'll come there.

- Okay, good. Thanks.

- No, no, no. l'll come over.

[Tim] l'll come there.

Here l come.

l got to go across the street

for a second.

That is incorrect. Follow me.

This was no picnic, let me tell you.

l had an '88 Ford flatbed

all lined up

with a brand-new winch,

but l fried it during the hot-wire,

goddamn it.

Good thing Monk passed out,

or l'd never got this baby.

Whoa.

What in the sh*t is this?

What is it?

lt's winches, hoists, pulleys, blocks

and tackles. This kind of thing.

You know how l got the idea? You know

those big things on Easter lsland?

- Easter lsland?

- Huh?

Easter lsland?

With this device, l can place that horse

on top of any object.

That truck's too high.

You won't get the horse in there.

You're like a specially trained

super agent. You know that?

Why do you think l called you?

l was so pissed off.

l nearly climbed back into your house

and smashed some plates.

Stand warned, okay, stand warned.

l have to go over there for a minute

or you don't get your money.

- Do you want your money?

- Yes.

Then put that horse on top of my van.

There's rope and tarp in the garage.

- Put the horse on the van?

- Put the horse on the van.

- Rope.

- Yeah, and be quiet.

lt's simple, okay?

- All right? l'll be right back.

- Yeah.

Hello, Mr. Tim.

You're looking very sprightly

for the hour.

We go up the stairs, please.

Right this way.

l've never been in this part.

They are practicing for the tournament.

[woman] Come on!

Yes!

Who's your nanny?!

Hey.

[Nick] Come.

Come here.

Right here, come on.

You're incredible, do you know that?

You're an incredible friend.

[loud clanging]

- What the hell was that?

- They're bowling next door.

Getting ready for your tournament.

They're hitting strikes.

- She's been blaming me for Corky.

- Who?

Natalie, she just kept blaming me

for Corky and making me feel guilty.

Then she starts up with the sh*t thing.

How do l know where the sh*t goes?!

Then l tell her, ''l'm going to Rome

tomorrow,'' and she freaks out!

She has a complete flip out!

She flips out the room!

- Where'd she go?

- l don't know.

- Some other wing.

- [banging, clanking]

But, buddy...

this ltaly thing is huge.

lt could seriously...

lt could mean literally billions.

You know what l think this is?

l think you just got to get some sleep.

You got to shut everything down.

Get under the covers. Come on.

Get under the covers.

Don't listen to anything.

- Sometimes you think you hear things...

- You're a great friend.

Sleep and it's going to be different

and don't wake up. Okay?

[J-Man] ~ Valderi

~ Valdera

~ Valderi

~ Valdera ha ha ha...

~ Valderi

Et cetera.

What about here? Right here?

You kidding? There's towns around.

You want somebody else

finding my horse?

There'll be towns everywhere.

Hey, six months l drove

a yogurt truck, okay?

This is my territory, Jack.

~ [man singing Valderi]

What do you got up there?

A sofa.

What kind of sofa?

Homemade.

- Oh, my God. What is this?

- Troopers.

Oh, no.

The bridge is out.

Follow the detour along the river

to the next bridge, all right?

Thank you very much.

- Have a good night.

- Let's go.

He didn't notice the horse.

Smokey didn't even notice

that we got a horse on the roof.

- l can't believe he didn't see it.

- [J-Man] Dumb Smokey.

- [Tim] How about right here?

- No, it's not good.

- What's wrong with here?

- lt doesn't feel right.

l hope it's very soon.

l got to be back there.

lt's going to be light out.

They're asleep and don't know you left.

l'm doing you a favor doing this.

How about here?

What's wrong with here?

l dig up the horse, l haul it up,

l invent everything.

Why do we have to do

what you want to do?

- Corky's new home.

- This is not good for me.

Forget it. This is it, right here.

Okay?

[J-Man] Bad vibe.

[Tim] Oh, no! He's gone!

Where'd he go?!

Did you hear anything?

Like a thump?

Where did he go?

Sh*t!

- [Tim] Did you check the knots?

- [J-Man] Knots? Who knows knots?

- Not you.

- You know, l'm not Popeye.

How did we not hear? How do you

not hear a horse fall off a car?

Maybe he's not dead.

Maybe he ran away.

lt's raining so hard,

the horse might have fallen off

and floated, who knows, into a ditch.

There's a river that runs

along this road. He could be in it.

Corky could be heading

for the open sea.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes