Equus Page #4

that boy would be dead.

I should have killed him that night.

Of course, now you've got him in hospital.

Private room, three meals a day,

remedial therapy, ping-pong, basketwork.

Hmph.

- Mr. Dalton...

- No, no, no. Quite right.

We've got to be, uh, modern about it.

After all, there are no criminals now.

We're all capable of everything.

I know. I've heard all about it.

Forgive and forget...

Two months ping-pong...

He's paid his debt to society, eh?

Mr. Dalton?

Damn you!

I'm sorry, I can't help it.

I keep seeing it.

Over and over, I see it.

Jill's had a breakdown.

- Jill?

- The girl who worked for me.

Complete and utter breakdown.

She'll never get over it.

Of course, she blames herself,

being the one who brought him here

to begin with.

He was introduced to the stables by a girl?

I just told you, didn't I?

Jill, Jill Mason.

Excuse me for being stupid,

but was that his girlfriend?

How should I know?

No, he met up with her somewhere,

asked for a job.

She told him to come and see me.

Piss off now, will you?

Yes, I'll be going.

One thing, when he first appeared,

did he seem at all peculiar?

I mean, odd in anyway?

No.

He did bloody good.

He spent hours with the horses,

cleaning and grooming,

way over the call of duty.

I thought he was a real find.

Apparently, the whole time

he worked for you,

he never actually rode.

That's true.

Wasn't that peculiar?

Certainly, if he didn't.

What do you mean?

I mean that, on and off, that whole year,

I had the feeling

the horses were being taken out at night.

At night?

Oh, just odd things I noticed.

I mean...

Too often, one or other of them

would be sweaty first thing in the morning,

when it wasn't sick. Very sweaty, too.

And its stall wouldn't be nearly

as mucky as it should be,

if it had been in all night.

Stupidly enough,

I never paid much mind to it at the time.

It wasn't until I realized

I'd been hiring a loony

that I came to wonder

if he hadn't been riding

all the time, behind our backs.

All right, it's obviously just my fancy.

This thing has shaken me so badly,

I'm liable to believe anything.

Why should anybody do that?

Why should any boy prefer

to go riding by himself at night,

when he could go off with others

during the day?

Are you asking me?

He's a loony, isn't he?

This girl, Jill Mason,

could you tell me where she lives?

Her mother keeps a shop,

a mile down the road.

Sells the antiques.

Thank you.

You won't see her.

And something else.

When the horse first appeared,

I looked up into his mouth.

There was this chain in it.

I said, "Does it hurt?" And he...

The horse said...

It was always the same, after that.

Every time I heard one clop by,

I had to run and see.

Up a country lane...

Anywhere...

Just to watch their skins...

And the way their necks twist.

The sweat comes in the folds.

Words like "reins,"

"stirrups," "flanks..."

"Dashing his spurs against

his charger's flanks..."

Even those words made me...

The way they give themselves to us.

That was it, too.

They could stamp us into bits

anytime they wanted, and they don't.

They just let themselves be turned

on a string all day, absolutely humble.

They give us all their strength,

and we just give them stripes for it.

They'll run forever.

They'll gallop till they die, they will...

If we don't say "stop."

They live for us...

Just for us...

Their whole lives.

Years, I've never told anyone.

My mum wouldn't understand.

She likes equitation,

bowler hats, jodhpurs.

My uncle dressed for the horses, she says.

But what does that mean?

Horse isn't dressed.

It's naked.

It's the most naked thing you ever saw,

more than a dog, a cat, or anything.

Even the brokenest-down

old nag has got its life.

Put a bowler hat on top of it... filthy.

Putting them through their paces,

bloody horse shows.

How do they dare?

No one understands. No one.

Except cowboys. They do.

But they're free. They just swing up,

and it's nothing but miles of grass.

I bet all cowboys are orphans.

I bet they are.

No one ever says to cowboys,

"Receive my meaning" or God.

"All the time, God sees you, Alan.

God's got eyes everywhere."

No, I'm not doing anymore, I hate this.

You can whistle for anymore. I've had it.

I'm very busy, you know.

That's why I came to see you.

Mr. Strang, is there something

you're not telling me?

What do you mean?

The last time we met, you said that

religion was at the bottom of all this.

So it is.

Well, just because his mother

reads him the Bible?

Night after night.

Fifty years ago,

that would've been considered

proper conduct for a mother.

Mr. Strang, I know I'm being impertinent.

I'm prying, and I'm nosy.

But if you want to help Alan,

you've got to help me.

Anything will do, Mr. Strang.

Any bloody thing!

Your wife told me about the picture.

No, it's not that, it's...

It's about that.

But it's worse.

I wanted to tell you the other day,

but I couldn't in front of Dora.

Maybe I should have.

It might show her all that stuff leads to,

she drills into the boy, behind my back.

What kind of thing is it?

It's something I witnessed.

Where?

At home,

18 months ago.

Go on.

It was, uh, it was late.

The boy had been in bed hours,

or so I thought.

Go on.

As I came out of the bathroom,

I heard...

I heard the noise of this chanting.

Chanting?

Yes, you know.

By the Bible, you know, one of those lists

his mother was always reading to him.

Those "begat, so and so, begat..."

you know, genealogy. But, uh...

What did Alan's list sound like?

Well, I remember the sort of thing I...

The first word I heard was...

Prince.

- Prince?

- Yeah.

Prince begat Prance.

And Prance begat Prankus.

And Prankus begat Flankus.

And Flankus begat Spankus.

And Spankus begat Spunkus the great,

who lived threescore years.

And Legwus begat Neckwus.

And Neckwus begat Fleckwus,

the king of spit.

And Fleckwus spoke out of his

chinkle-chankle.

What?

I'm sure that was the word.

I've never forgotten it.

"Chinkle-chankle."

And he said "Behold, I give you Equus,

my only begotten son."

Equus?

There's no doubt of that,

he repeated that word several times.

"Equus...

"My only begotten son."

And then...

He took this...

String,

and he put it in his mouth, and...

With his other hand...

He picked up this...

Coat hanger, this wooden coat hanger...

Equus.

And he...

Equus.

Equus.

Well, you see why I...

I couldn't tell his mother.

Religion. Religion is the bottom of this,

don't you see?

Did you speak to him about it later?

No.

I can't speak about

things like that, Doctor.

It's not in my nature.

No.

I see that.

Here, let me help you.

Just run it under the tap.

I must tell you

that it's been an enormous help...

Mr. Strang, is there...

Something else?

There is, actually. There's one...

There's one thing.

That night that he...

That he did it, that, uh,

that awful thing in the...

in the stables...

That night, he was out with a girl.

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