Equus Page #9

You wouldn't have a room for it anymore.

Well, I wouldn't mind.

I don't actually enjoy being

a nosy parker, you know.

Then why do it?

Because you're unhappy.

So are you.

Here, I didn't mean that.

It's all right.

No... is that how it works?

Things just slip out

without you feeling anything?

Yes.

So quick.

I told you.

You can say anything under it?

Yes.

Well, ask me a question.

All right.

Tell me about Jill.

Nothing to tell.

Nothing?

Well, for example, is she, uh, pretty?

You've never described her to me.

She's all right.

What color is her hair?

- Don't know.

- Ls it long or short?

Don't know.

Now, come on, Alan, surely,

you must know that.

I don't remember. I don't!

Alan,

you're going to do this, and do it now.

You're going to tell me everything

that happened with this girl.

And now, not just tell me, show me.

Act it out, if you like,

even more than when I tapped the pencil.

I want you to feel free to do anything

you like in this room.

The pill Will help you, I Will help you.

Now describe her to me.

Ls her hair long or short?

Down to here.

- You sure?

- Yes.

Well?

She was posh.

You mean snobbish?

Yeah, no. I don't know!

- She was always looking.

- At you?

Saying stupid things.

Always asking questions.

MARTINI Like what?

Do you find them sexy?

What?

Horses.

Don't be daft.

Girls do.

I mean, they go through a period

where they pat them and kiss them a lot.

I know I did.

I suppose it's just a substitute, really.

ALAN'. That kind of thing, all the time.

Till one night...

Yes, what?

It was her idea.

She got me into it, the whole thing.

What are you saying?

One night? Go on from there.

It was a Saturday night.

We were just closing up.

How would you like to take me out?

What?

How would you like to take me out tonight?

No, I've got to go home.

What for?

They expect me.

Ring up and say you're going out.

I can't.

Why not?

They expect me.

Look, either we go out together

and have some fun,

or you go back to

your boring home, as usual,

and I go back to mine.

That's the situation, isn't it?

Where would we go?

There's a skin flick over in Winchester.

I've never seen one. Have you?

Wouldn't you like to?

All those heavy Swedes

panting at one another.

Well?

What do you say?

Yeah.

Well?

So you did?

I'm tired now. I want to stop.

- Come on, now. You can't stop there.

- Well, I'm tired, I want to go to bed!

- Well, you can't.

- Why?

I want to hear about that film.

- Hear what? What? It was bloody awful.

- Why?

- Nosy parker!

- Why?

- Because...

- Yes?

The whole place was full of men.

Jill was the only girl.

It was daft.

All took place in Sweden.

There was this girl, Brita, who was 16.

She went to stay in this house

where there was an older boy.

He kept giving her looks.

But she ignored him completely.

Instead, she took a shower.

She went into the bathroom

and took off all her clothes,

the lot, very, very slowly.

It was fantastic.

Water fell down her,

bouncing off her breasts.

Ls that the first time

you'd ever seen a girl naked?

ALAN; Yes.

Couldn't see everything, though.

It was funny.

All around me, all the men were staring up,

like they were in a church.

Like a secret congregation.

Like those early Christians

my mum talks about,

the ones that came together

in caves underground.

And then...

- Christ!

- What?

Dad!

I think he saw me.

Alan!

You can hear me. Don't pretend.

Do I have to come and fetch you? Alan!

Shut up, will you?

- Alan!

- Stop it!

- Come here this instant. Come on!

- But, Dad!

Come on.

You went with him, then?

ALAN". What else could I do?

It was weird.

I mean, it turned into follow the leader.

Dad trying to look impressive, and me,

I suppose, thinking I ought to copy him.

It was absolutely stupid.

We stood at the bus stop,

like we were three people in a queue,

who didn't know each other.

We must have stayed like that

for five minutes.

I tried to speak, I said,

I've never been in there before in my life.

Never.

Honest.

Jill tried.

It's true, Mr. Strang.

It wasn't Alan's idea to go there at all.

It was mine.

I'm not shocked by films

like that, I just...

Think they're silly, that's all.

ALAN". Bus wouldn't come.

We stood, we stood.

And then suddenly, he spoke.

It felt like it was somebody else

talking for him.

I would like you to know something,

both of you.

Hey!

I came here tonight to see the manager.

He asked me to call on him

for business purposes.

I happen to be a printer, miss...

The picture house needs posters.

That is entirely why I'm here,

to discuss posters.

And while I was there,

I happened to glance in, and I saw...

I can only say that I am going

to complain to the council.

I had no idea they showed films like this.

I'm certainly going to refuse my services.

Yes, of course.

So long as that is understood.

Perfectly.

Come along, Alan.

No.

No fuss, please. Just... just say

good night to the young lady.

No, I'm stopping here.

I've got to see her home.

It's proper.

Hmph. Very well.

I'll see you when you

choose to return, then.

Very well. Yes.

ALAN". Terrible.

What was?

ALAN". His face.

He was scared.

Scared of me.

We've got to walk.

It's four miles.

MARTINI Yes?

What were you thinking?

It was like I'd been fooled.

Like I was the only person who didn't know.

Every man in the street,

everyone I've ever seen, they all do it.

All of them, they're not just dads.

They're all people with pricks.

And my dad, he's not just a dad either.

He's a man with a prick, too.

He's nothing special.

Nothing special at all.

Just a poor old sod on his own.

He goes off at night

and does his own secret thing,

which no one will know about, just like me.

You were happy

at that second, weren't you,

when you thought about your dad?

Other people have secrets, too.

Not just you.

ALAN; Yes.

And you felt free, didn't you?

Free to do almost anything.

ALAN; Yes.

What's in your head?

Her eyes.

I keep looking at them,

because I really want...

I really wanted...

To look at her breasts?

ALAN; Yes.

I love your eyes.

ALAN". Her face was so warm.

You want her very much?

I can't!

- Go on.

- I can't!

Of course you can.

You're doing wonderfully.

Don't make me, please.

Don't think, just answer. Come on, Alan.

Where are you now, Alan?

ALAN". Cabbages, with the moon on them.

Like steel.

All the country, like

it's been steel-plated.

I know absolutely where we're going.

Absolutely.

And I can't stop it.

What?

Nothing.

Come on, then.

Where do you go now?

Into his temple?

His holy of holies?

What else can I do?

Are you all right?

Why'?

You look weird.

Come here.

Hello.

Hello.

Good things come in threes.

What's the matter?

Alan?

What is it? Say.

Yes, all right, leave.

Take your sweater off.

I Will, if you Will.

You're beautiful.

So are you.

She put her mouth in mine.

It was lovely.

It was lovely.

What did you do then?

ALAN'. I put it in her.

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