Ernest Goes to Camp Page #5

No matter how they toss

the dice, it had to be

The only one for me is you

and you for me

So happy together

So, how is

the weather?

[Engine rumbling]

[Birds chirping]

[Saw scraping,

sandpaper scratching]

Boy:
What's going on?

[Hammer pounding]

Well, look who's here.

It's the last-chance boys.

How you doin', guys?

They let you guys

run around loose?

What are you makin'

It looks like a skeleton

or something.

It's a kayak, airhead,

and this baby's gonna win

the competition

again for us

this year, pal.

What are you guys

making?

None of your business.

Oh, a secret

project, huh?

I wonder

what that could be.

I bet they don't have

anything.

- We do too!

- Oh, sure you do.

Hey, you don't know

nothing about nothing, blondie,

and I know that for a fact.

Yeah, you'll see it

soon enough!

- Yeah, when we win.

- Ooh, I'm real scared.

That's it, man.

Come on, push me, punk!

Come on!

I'll have you

singing soprano!

- Shut up!

- Come on, Vargas.

- Don't tempt me.

- Come on, man.

They don't have anything.

Boy, what a bunch

of losers.

[Scoffs]

- Okay, guys, come on!

- You got me climbin'

Up from the bottom

You got me thinkin'

that we just can't lose

By pullin' together

We're gettin' stronger

We got a second chance,

and we'll break through

'Cause when you're fightin'

for your life

You hold on tight

Don't let go

till you see the light

Can't stop

till the race is run

- Yeah!

- All right!

- We're gonna win this one

- Whoo-hoo!

- Yeah!

You know, Moose,

recreating your genuine

Indian artifact

is not just another

handicraft. It is a art.

- Ernest?

- Mm-hmm?

Do you think

if we win this contest,

we could stay here forever

and not have to go back

to that old institute?

[Sighs]

Well, if it was

up to me, Moose,

you'd stay right here

from now on.

Is it up to you?

No.

I didn't think so.

[Gunshot]

[Gunshot]

[Shell clinks]

Well, it's no use talking

to the old Indian.

[Gunshot]

[Shell clinks]

I mean, the old guy

can't stop talking

about the old ways...

spirits, this kind of

voodoo mumbo jumbo.

[Gunshot]

Sherman,

you don't understand.

The old guy will not

listen to reason.

[Shell clinks]

I mean,

who can own a tree?

[Laughing] What?

Nothing.

You just haven't tried

hard enough.

Money talks!

Sherman, we could be

on very shaky ground here.

There's the old treaty...

This is the real world!

We're playing hardball!

You just can't be

soft and polite

and expect things

to come your way!

I got too much

riding on this...

and I'm not gonna let

some old Indian

throw a monkey wrench

into it.

[Gunshot]

Hey, hand me that string

over there, will you?

Okay.

Yeah, the inside's really

starting to look nice.

These boys have really jumped

into this competition

with both feet.

They just needed something

to be proud of.

Hey, Crutch, next time

I run away from the institute,

I'm gonna build myself

one of these things.

Hey, dudes,

check it out.

Now, that's

no slouch job.

Hey, you know,

we just might win

this thing.

You know, I think

I might have a knack

for this

construction biz.

[Knife clinking]

[Birds chirping]

Somebody

give me a hand.

Hey,

I'll help you out.

And then he thought

he heard it,

and that's when Vernon

turned around

and looked in his rear window,

and there,

staring back at him,

was the Hook Man!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha!

So, he stomped on the gas,

and he tore outta there!

And the next day, Vernon

went out to get in his car,

and there, hanging

on the rearview mirror,

was the hook!

I thought

it was supposed to be

on the door handle.

- Ha ha.

- Yeah.

Yeah, it was originally,

but, uh, but then Vernon hung it

on the rearview mirror,

you know, like a souvenir,

like dice and baby shoes.

Uh-huh.

Ah heh.

Well, does anybody else, uh,

have an interesting story?

Uh, chief, uh, can you

tell us a big story?

Heh heh heh.

[Speaking native language]

I speak

to the young braves

so that they may know

of the old ways.

[Speaking native language]

I speak to them

so that they may know

what this ground holds

of the spirits of the past.

[Speaking native language]

When a young brave was ready

to become a warrior,

it was here

that he was called

by the wise men

and the elders.

[Speaking native language]

If he had faith

in the great one,

the knife

would not cut him.

[Speaking native language]

If he had courage,

true courage,

the rock

would not break him.

[Speaking native language]

If the brave

was pure of heart,

the arrow

could not catch him.

[Speaking native language]

And then he would become

a warrior,

as someday you will.

[Speaking native language]

And that was called

the ceremony of the blade,

the stone, and the arrow.

Like in our culture...

paper, rock, scissors.

[All groan]

[Bird calling in distance]

[Laughter]

Man, that sure was

some rap the old chief

was putting on us.

Yeah, I wonder

if that stuff is true.

Well, you wouldn't catch me

standing around

letting some lunatic

throw knives at me.

Whap!

[Fire igniting]

Oh, no!

That's our tepee!

Who did this?

Who do you think?

Man, let's get 'em!

Yeah, come on!

Looks like you fellas

forgot something here.

[Sniffs] We wouldn't

want you to get thirsty,

now, would we, fellas?

So we come to repay

the favor.

[Indistinct shouting,

fighting]

Mr. Tipton:
Your boys

are out of control.

I mean, this last fight,

it was the last straw.

I've got other campers

I've got to think about here.

I think it's best

for all concerned

if we just send them all

back to the institution,

where they can get

the supervision they need.

Don't do it, sir.

Ernest, it's not really

your fault. It's my fault.

I thought you could do it.

I was wrong.

But it's not fair

to send them back.

It's not their fault.

Maybe I was a bad counselor.

They shouldn't have to

suffer for that.

Look, if you give

the second-chance boys

another chance

and me another chance,

that'll be three chances,

and added to the two chances

we had before, that makes...

five or six chances...

carry the one...

Okay, Ernest,

one more chance.

I'll let the boys stay,

but they better

get with the program...

you know what I mean?

Oh, I know what you mean.

Yes, sir. Thank you.

[Speaking Japanese]

Thank you.

They were all set

to send you boys

back to the institute,

when you-know-who stepped in

and saved the day.

See? I told you

he wasn't such a dork.

But they burned it,

Ernest.

One monkey

don't stop no show.

We can still win

this thing.

Aw, come on, Ernest,

what's the point?

The point is

to do your best always,

to always give it

your best shot,

[Deep voice]

to boldly go where no man

has gone before.

[Normal voice]

It's the path of the brave.

Well, I don't know

about you guys,

but I'm not gonna let 'em

put me down.

I'm gonna build

this thing over.

Hey, yeah, guys,

he's right.

Come on, let's go.

Ernest,

it's a lead-pipe city.

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