Ernest Saves Christmas Page #5

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Ernest, chill out, will you?

She still doesn't believe in you.

Get real.

Nobody believes in Santa Claus.

Oh, she's been this way | since that Christmas...

when I brought her a doll | instead of a baseball mitt.

Haven't you, Pamela?

You see, I took over...

the position of Santa Claus in 1 889,

from a German chap.

I enjoyed every second of it.

Then how come you don't want | to be Santa Claus anymore?

No, no, it isn't that.

You see, | with the passing of time,

the magic fades.

I've got some jumper cables | in the back...

if you need recharging.

No, Ernest.

It's recharged through the passing...

from one person to the next.

That's whyJoe Carruthers | is so important.

I've got to make him | the next Santa Claus...

before 7:
00 tonight.

Or I'm afraid...

the magic of Christmas,

the joys and feelings,

will be gone forever.

[ Santa ] | That's why we've got to find Joe.

[ Harmony ] | Marty's office is on the 2nd floor.

These steps might as well | be Mount Everest.

Hold on a second, hon.

Superior Talent, Inc. | Marty Brock's--

Is my second-born son | without a sliver of gratitude?

He wouldn't even pick up | his own mother at the airport.

I'm only glad his father | never lived to see the day...

when his son would treat | his own mother this way.

Me, a lonely old woman...

forced to cope | in a world of indifference.

Hold on just a minute.

Where is he? | Where is Martin?

I need him to help me | with my will.

Having walked from the airport, | I'll be dead soon.

I don't know what to do. | He's with a client.

That's life for you.

You have two sons; | one good, one bad.

And wouldn't you know it,

with my luck, | the good one dies!

But, Mrs. Brock, I'm sure | he didn't know you were coming.

Don't side with him, honey. | There's no future in it.

Just tell me where he is.

I hope Ernest | has success finding Joe.

He's been in there a long time.

At least they didn't | kick him out right away.

Your mother must be | worried about you.

- What? | - Well,you've been gone a month now.

That's a long time for a girl your age | to be on her own.

You know, that is so funny.

People do this to me all the time.

Everybody thinks | I'm really young, you know,

but I'm not.

I'm 22.

My mistake.

I mixed you up with someone...

whose parents | had some problems last year.

They got so wrapped up | in themselves...

that they forgot that she ...

needed a little attention, too.

No.

I--

I don't know anybody like that.

Sounds to me like she ought to | wise up to the way things are,

and just start looking | out for herself.

Hey, Ernest!

- How'd it go? | - It worked great!

Victory is at hand.

Now, we have to move on...

to what I like to call ''Plan B.''

Let's get moving.

[ Harmony ] | All right, another scam!

I can't tell you | how pleased they were...

with your performance yesterday.

It's just fantastic | how well Blake's costumes fit you.

- I was reading the script, | and I'm a bit concerned-- | - About what?

That fate dropped a lead | right into your lap?

What should we do | about the beard?

- Leave it. | - Lose it.

Until I know | if I want to do this.

What?

What a kidder!

Don't you just love this guy?

Chemistry. | I can feel it.

Can you feel it?

Can you?

Yes, you can.

Here you go.

Take real good care of this.

Me and Father Christmas...

are going to | Diamond World Pictures,

where we will successfully | complete our mission.

- [ Ernest ] You gonna be okay? | - I'll be fine.

We're gonna go find Joe | at the studio.

[ Hoofs Tapping ]

Okay, call me cautious | if you want to,

but better safe than sorry.

Okay, what's in the truck?

Is this where | the horror movie folk be?

What?

I got a truckload of snakes...

for them horror movie folk.

- Well, I'd better take a look. | - [ Rattle, Rattle ]

Careful now, they be poison.

Poison snakes.

One minute, you're a big...

strappin'healthy man, | and the next...

ssssnap!

You're dead meat! | Deep six.

[ Rattle, Rattle ]

Careful, now.

They'll knot up on ya.

Them poison snakes will do that.

Gonna get 'em all riled up.

[ Rattle, Rattle ]

When they get knotted up | on you like that,

they get real crazy.

Especially on a day like today...

when it's real hot.

Huh!

You want one for your boy?

I gave one to my boy last year.

- " Rock of ages " | - No, that's all right.

Just take the truck | over to stage 5.

" Cleft for me "

" Let me hide "

" Myself in thee ""

That's all these movie people want.

Poison!

Okay.

No.

She said ''no.''

[ Whistles ]

[ Whistles ]

[ Indistinct Conversation ]

Quiet.!

[ Director ] | Okay, everybody, ready?

Roll playback.

Okay, roll, please.

Christmas Sleigh test. | Scene 94. Take one.

And mark.

Ready and action.

[ Girl ] | Can we sleep with the light on tonight?

[Joe ] | I think we can spare the electricity.

Now off to bed with both of you.!

You don't want to be awake | when Santa arrives.

Come on, off you go.

Okay, the kids are gone.

It's time to set out the toys.

You're bubbling over | with the, uh--

- Christmas spirit. | - Christmas spirit.

Then you hear something.

What is it? | You don't know.

It's outside the door.

Yeah, okay.

Now, it might be--

- Old Saint Nick. | - Old Saint Nick.

Should you open the door?

Or not?

- Roarrr! | - [ Crash ]

- Roarrr! | - Die, you son of a--

Son of a--

Cut.

Cut.! Cut.!

Is there a problem,Joe?

Well, I sort of can't say that.

The kids are right over there.

It's nothing they haven't heard before.

Not from me.

Listen,Joey.

We're not into gratuitous | bad language here.

It's important you show your anger.

Otherwise, | it's totally unmotivated...

when you pick up the ax | and hack him to pieces.

Good heavens!

- Who's this? | - Oh, no.

Joe, I thought this motion picture...

was called ''Christmas Sleigh.''

I can handle this. | What are you doing here?

I own a sleigh.

I don't see what | this has to do with--

No, no.

''Slay, slay.''

Not ''sleigh,'' but ''slay.''

S-L-A-Y.

What?

It's about an alien | from outer space.

He comes and terrorizes | a bunch of kids over Christmas vacation.

Terrorizes children, did you say?

At Christmastime?

Where did he come from?

[ Indistinct Conversation ]

We never saw him before, guys.

Honest.

Listen, Marty,

the guy seems | bound and determined...

to talk to me.

Let me sit down with him | for a few minutes,

let him get whatever he has to say | off his chest,

and then I'll send him on his way.

I promise.

What are you going | to talk to him about?

Flying reindeer?

We're with | the Animal Control Agency.

You guys say you have | a problem with reindeer?

[ Stamp, Stamp ]

Come on, guys, | we haven't got all day.

What's the problem, huh?

[ Hoofs Tapping ]

- What the-- | - Oh, flying...

reindeer.

- Um, that's not us. | - No.

You need Air Traffic Control.

Yeah, Air Traffic Control.

From this longitude, | you must leave by 7:00.

Any later, | and you'll run into daylight...

before you get to the end of the trip.

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