Ernest Saves Christmas Page #6

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- So, I've arranged-- | - Hold it.

You're talking about every child | in the whole world...

in one night.

No, you see, many of them...

hold cultural beliefs | that don't include Santa Claus.

Have you any idea | how many children are in the world?

1 ,7 89,63 5,1 42.

Well, that's a ballpark figure.

If I'm going too quick, | just say so.

[ Car Horn ]

[Jingle ]

[ Zing ]

Ma-ma, Ma-ma.

Come on.

Somebody must have | asked for something good;

a stereo, some jewelry.

- Hey, you! | - Yeah?

- Is this your truck? | - Yup.

- Are you the snake guy? | - Yeah.

Okay, boys,

bring 'em on over here.

[ Hiss, Hiss ]

Yeah, thanks.

I'll count 'em later.

[ Rattle, Hiss ]

Eww-heww.

Listen, you seem to be | very much into this.

Why don't you just continue | being Santa Claus yourself?

Nothing would give me | more pleasure.

ButJoe, what I'm talking about | is a torch;

a bright, shining torch, | that is carried for awhile...

and then passed on to another.

If it's not passed on,

the flame flickers and dies.

You know, I've carried this torch | for more seasons...

than I should have done.

Because I loved it so much.

But now, | I've taken to making notes.

Well, you can't do it that way.

It shouldn't be done that way.

It can't be done that way.

It's time for someone new.

It's time for you,Joe.

[ Zing ]

Ahh, more kid stuff.

I need more time.

How'd it go?

I don't think | I'd ride back there if I were you.

Why don't you ride up here | with me, okay?

[ Rattle ]

Ohhh.

Did you get rid of him?

Uh, yeah. | Yeah, I did.

[ Santa ] | I feel as light as a bubble, my boy.

You have no idea | what a relief this is.

Now, I must pick up the sack,

then go to the Children's Museum...

where I've arranged to meetJoe.

He must leave by 7:00 at the latest.

What about the sleigh | and the 8 tiny reindeer?

They're at the airport | waiting for my helpers to pick them up.

You want to go from the airport...

to downtown at rush-hour?

Yes. Is there a problem?

They'll be bunched in there | like caterpillars...

or snakes! | Ahhh!

- Oh, hi. | -Better get moving.

It's time for the 3 Musketeers | to saddle up...

and ride to glory. | Know what I mean?

I-I-I don't know. | I think, um--

I think I've got something else to do.

I'm just gonna get my stuff.

You better check it out.

Why?

Well, call it...

a fifth sense. | Call it...

a flash of intermission,

but I've got this feeling deep | down in the heart of my bottom.

Oh, I see.

She couldn't do anything like that.

Still, I'd feel a whole lot better...

if we looked in the sack.

[ Giggles ]

Ah, would you put this | in the pickup?

Sure.

Trust people.

It pays off more often | than you think.

[ Ernest ] | Are you ready to go?

Me?

Um, no.

I've got to meet my cousin, | you know.

She's here in town, | and she called me.

She said she had | some clothes for me.

So I'm going to go | and try 'em on, you know?

See if they fit and stuff.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Wish us luck.

Oh, yeah. Luck.

Bye.

[Jingle ]

There you go. | Door to door service.

This looks like the right place | over here.

Santa, I've got to get going.

Your boys are | facing rush-hour traffic.

I've got to make sure | they get you-know-what...

over to you-know-where | by you-know-when.

[ Chuckles ] | Yeah.

[ Knock, Knock]

Joe?

Joe, are you home?

Yeah. | Just a second.

How did you find my house?

Well, it comes with the job.

What?

What did you do to yourself?

If you must know,

I needed to turn the clock back.

Well, I shall have to figure out...

how to deal with this.

We can talk on our way | to the Children's Museum.

Look, you know,

I really don't know how to...

deal with something like this.

Come with me. | I will prove to you--

Why me? | Why not pick on somebody else?

Because you have the qualities;

the understanding of children.

You have the magic...

inside you.

What's this supposed to be?

My magic sack of toys?

Look, it's just feathers.!

I know it's feathers!

The real sack was taken.

I have absolute faith | that it will be returned.

At the Children's Museum, right?

Thanks.

No, thanks.

Look,

I have an appointment | to keep...

with people who want | to give me more than just,

you know, feathers.

Joe,

search your heart.

There must be something | that can convince you...

of the truth.

In a way, | I wish there was,

but I haven't seen it yet.

How far will this get me?

Where do you want to go?

Doesn't matter.

Anywhere...

away from here.

Probably get you to Miami,;

leaves about 6:
;40.

There's nothing sooner?

Not on Christmas eve.

All right.

Are we gonna miss Santa?

No, honey.

He only brings you | presents if you're good.

[ Mother ] | Bobby, sit down here.!

Excuse me, can you tell me | if this bus goes downtown?

All the way to the train station.

Thank you.

Hey, you look like | something's awfully wrong.

Misjudged somebody, | that's all.

Well, you can't judge a book | by its cover.

No way.

Oh, well,

if I could be wrong | about one person,

I guess I could be wrong | about another.

- [ Whoosh ] | - Bobby, see that one right there?

- [ Whoosh ] | - Right there! Fifty laps!

Now, the way | I've got it figured,

- [ Whoosh ] | - these rascals...

are warming up | for something real big.

[ P.A. Announcer ] | Your attention, please. | Announcing the arrival...

of Eastern Airlines flight 835 | from Toronto at gate 2 1-A.

[ Ernest ] | Hey, fellas, the sleigh's down here.

Look now, fellas,

I've got to have those reindeer...

at the Children's Museum, | like 5 minutes ago.

Know what I mean?

Your name Elmes?

Ernest.

Your name ain't Elmes?

No, Ernest.

Ernest.

Well, eh, Ernest, | we've been holding...

these fleabags | for a fellow named Elmes.

Now, we got some | real good questions,

and he better have | some real good answers.

Look, fellas, | you got to help me out here.

First, let me ask you | one question.

Do you believe in Santa Claus?

For some reason, | I knew that this question...

was going to come up.

Welcome to Orlando.

Next, please.

Next in line, please.

Next in line, please.

Why not?

It's Christmas, ain't it?

Thanks, Skippy.

No, no, no.

I got no waybill. | I got no...

second party pick up release.

I got no customs | quarantine waiver.

Well, then, | you ain't got no reindeer,

'cause we're saving them | for a fellow named Helper Elmes.

Helper elves.

You got an I.D.?

[ Together] | Ta da!

Well, that ought to do it.

We don't have time to lose.

Okay, fellas, move 'em out!

[ Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh ]

Oh!

Okay, everybody on board!

I will not allow us...

to miss our r-r-rendezvous...

with destiny.

- Front seat! | - Shotgun!

Ow!

[ Truck Engine ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Ernest ] | We'll never make it on the freeway,

but fortunately,

I know a shortcut.

I've been this way before.

Oh, no. | The gate's closed.

It's not who you know,

it's what you know.

- Know what I mean? | - [ Click ]

Don't blow it, Elrod.

We got lots at stake here.

[ Ernest ] | Trust me.

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