Even Cowgirls Get The Blues Page #14

Jelly pauses.

JELLY:

Oh yeah, now that I think of it, the

Chink taught me something about

cowgirls. Did you realize that

cowgirls have been around for many

centuries? Long before America. In

ancient India the care of the cattle

was always left up to young women

they called gopis. Being alone with

the cows all the time, the gopis got

awfully horny, just like we do here.

Every gopi was in love with Krishna,

a good-looking young god who played

the flute like it was going out of

style When the moon was full, this

Krishna would play his flute by a

river and call the gopis to him.

Then he would multiply himself sixteen

thousand times -- one for each gopi --

and make love to each one the way

she most desired. There they were,

sixteen thousand gopis balling Krishna

on the river bank, and the energy of

their merging was so great that it

created a huge oneness, a total union

of love, and it was God. Wow! Quite

a picture, huh?

Sissy's thumb twitches. Jelly swallows hard. They gaze into

each other's eyes.

A WHISTLE pierces the sunlight outside the window.

JELLY:

That couldn't be Krishna, could it?

A bit shrill for a flute. Just our

rotten luck.

Jelly walks to the window and exchanges hand signals with

someone outside.

JELLY:

Gotta run now. Delores says I'm

needed. Somebody's here. Maybe it's

the Countess.

Jelly spins her six-shooter in her kewpie fingers.

JELLY:

Sissy, cowgirl history is about to

be made. I'm damn glad you're here

to witness it.

She holsters her gun and blows Sissy a kiss, then is gone

out the door.

Sissy hops out of bed and from the window she can see cowgirls

gathering in a circle. Someone or something is in the center

of the circle.

Sissy zips herself into a red jumpsuit and hurries outside.

EXT. CORRAL DAY

What was in the center of the circle was a goat. Debbie was

scratching the animal's ears. She was hugging it.

KYM:

It's cute. Way cuter than a cow.

DEBBIE:

Goats are always testing you. They're

like Zen masters. They can tell

instantly if you're faking your

feelings. So they play games with

you to keep you true. People should

go to goats instead of psychiatrists.

GLORIA:

It's so loving.

Gloria cuts in on Debbie and gives the beast a hug.

HEATHER:

Look at those playfully wise eyes.

GLORIA:

Ooo! It licked me!

JELLY:

More and more people are discovering

that cow's milk isn't fit for human

consumption. Billy West says if we

can produce enough goat's milk on

the ranch to make it worth his while,

he'll run it into Fargo regularly.

She pauses and looks around the group in the circle.

DELORES:

I'm aware that Tad Lucas rode broncs

until her ninth month, but I don't

think pregnant cowgirls are going to

be any asset on this ranch. I hope

you itchy clits who are sneaking

down to the lake every night are

taking precautions. It's bad enough

we've got cranes coming; we don't

need storks. I feel that those film

makers should be removed from the

Rubber Rose as soon as possible. Men

can cause nothing but trouble here.

I also feel that our guest

(she nods at Sissy)

should be excused while we discuss

this matter further.

Hurt, Sissy leaves the group.

EXT. RANCH DAY

Views of Sissy in her Whooping crane outfit dancing to Debussy

in front of the Disney film crew. The documentary being

directed by an effusive Frenchman.

View of the camera crew training their long telephoto lenses

on Siwash Lake. They all seem to be wearing the same trademark

satin baseball jackets with one logo or another on their

backs.

Another view of the lake, from above, from the Chink's point

of view and our first view of THE CHINK. The Chink spies

Sissy and Jelly coming over a ridge.

We cannot hear them at first, but Sissy and Jelly are talking.

JELLY:

......Delores zonks out on peyote at

least once a week, but so far her

Third Vision hasn't happened.

Niwetükame, the Mother Goddess has

not gotten back in touch with her.

Meanwhile she and Debbie are rivaling

each other like a couple of crosstown

high schools. Tension. Cowgirl

tension! What a drag.

SISSY:

What is Debbie's position?

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