Even Cowgirls Get The Blues Page #16

INT. ROOMS

The guests are hurriedly packing their things.

INT. SISSY'S ROOM

She looks on.

EXT. FRONT YARD

When the revolutionaries have retreated about thirty yards,

they stop. With astonishing rapidity, they unbuckle unbutton

and unzip and step out of their jeans and underpants. Then,

nude from the waist down, thatched pubises thrust forward,

up front and leading the way, they begin to advance.

The Countess's grin goes down his throat like bathwater down

a drain.

GLORIA:

Better reach for your spray cans!

JELLY:

Not one of these pussies has been

washed in a week!

Rather pale, his nose twitching, the Countess drops the caviar

canapé he has been holding.

ON COME THE COWGIRLS, pelvises pumping, laying down what the

trembling Countess believes to be a devastating barrage of

musk.

Miss Adrian, lost in her own hysteria, charges. A barbeque

fork she hurls draws blood from Heather's eyebrow.

Quick as a frog's tongue, Delores's whip cracks. It's lash

curls around the ranch manager's ankles, pulling her feet

from under her. She hits the sod in a jangle of jewelry and

expulsion of breath.

A Molotov cocktail thrown by Big Red says hello to the sexual

reconditioning building. Within seconds, the structure is

blazing.

INT. MAIN HOUSE

THE BARE-ASSED COWGIRLS storm into the beauty parlor and

exercise rooms.

SOUNDS OF breaking glass and wood splintering. The air is

singing with cries of "Wahoo," Yippee," "Let 'er buck" and

"The vagina is a self-cleaning organ."

INT. KITCHEN

SISSY flees the house as she hunkers down out the back door.

EXT. CROQUET COURT

Sissy running across it. She passes the pool, and falls in.

Climbing out, wet, scared, she runs to the base of Siwash

Ridge and southward along the mountain's foot.

EVENTUALLY Sissy comes to a place where the juniper bushes

are broken to reveal a crude path beginning a steep ascent.

Sissy decides to climb up it.

She shoulders her way through low, slivery boughs.

Approximately halfway up the ridge she rests on a flat rock

from which she can look down on the...

BURNING RUBBER ROSE smoking away, distant yahoos and carryings

on can be heard. Horses whinney in the corral. A few gunshots

are thrown into the soundtrack if things aren't lively enough.

MISS ADRIAN'S CADILLAC, ON FIRE, roars out of the drive.

Sissy looks up to the quiet mountain. Pauses. Then she looks

back to the chaos below.

THE CINEMATOGRAPHERS' RENTED CONVERTIBLE AND THEIR EQUIPMENT

VAN drive away.

Sissy sits and wonders. The sun is setting on the horizon,

mixing well with the firelight that the Rubber Rose is giving

off.

BUT SHE is aware of something watching her. Looking about

she sees nothing.

VIEW of an empty trail.

VIEW OF a quivering bush.

Sissy turns to the sound of the CHINK.

CHINK:

Ha ha ho ho hee hee.

AND THERE HE IS. Standing only ten yards away.

The Chink's problem is that he looks like he rolled out of a

Zen scroll, as if he says "presto" a lot, knows the meaning

of lightning and the origin of dreams. He LOOKS as if he

drinks dew and fucks snakes.

Sissy and the Chink scrutinize one another with mutual

fascination.

CHINK:

Ha ha ho ho and hee hee.

Sissy is just about to speak, but before she does THE CHINK

whirls, and scampers up the mountainside.

SISSY:

Wait!

Warily he stops and turns, poised to flee again.

Sissy smiles.

SHE RAISES her ripe right thumb. And jerking it and swooshing

it, she hitchhikes the Chink and his mountain.

THERE HE STANDS where Sissy's thumbs have stopped him. The

Chink wears the wary look of a wild animal. He's not going

to stay stopped long. It is Sissy's move.

SISSY:

Well, aren't you going to shake your

whanger at me?

The Chink pauses for a moment, then he slaps his thighs and

giggles hysterically. Ha has, ho hos and hee hees squirt out

of his nose and through the gaps in his teeth.

CHINK:

(laughter dies a

nervous chipmunk

death)

Follow me. I'll fix you supper.

THE TWO doggedly walk up the steep trail.

SISSY:

I'm a friend of Bonanza Jellybean's.

CHINK:

I know who you are.

SISSY:

Oh? Well, there's been some trouble

on the ranch. I came up here to get

out of the way. It's so dark now I

doubt if I could find my way back

down. If you could help...

CHINK:

(voice that wears no

pants)

Save your breath for the climb.

SISSY takes another look at the Rubber Rose, which is now

quiet. We can hear faintly a distant popping of washcloths

and girlish laughter.

THEY make their way into a depression at the top of the

mountain down a ladder of sticks.

THE CHINK lights a large fire in the middle of the depression.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes