Even Cowgirls Get The Blues Page #19

Sissy strikes the Countess with her right thumb -- with

astonishing force.

Immediately the thumb strikes again, this time shattering

the Countess's monocle against his eye.

THE COUNTESS:

(gasping)

Sh*t O dear.

HIS DENTURES fall onto the shag rug.

The left thumb strikes. Sissy is swinging her thumbs like

ballbats socking flaming homers over the left-field fence.

The countess is out on his feet. His eyes are closed. His

legs wobble. He does a pathetic dance, like a drunken old

fool trying to boogie with a chorus girl.

He topples forward and meets Sissy's onrushing thumb of

thunder which straightens him up, sends him over backward.

Motionless, he lies on the floor, a crimson part in his

thinning hair, a bright ooze at each nostril.

INT. HOSPITAL DAY

Seated on a spotless wooden bench is Sissy, staring at a

clock. A surgeon emerges.

SURGEON:

Well, he's not out of danger, but I

think we can safely say he's going

to make it. I'd be pretty surprised

if he didn't. However, there is

evidence of injury to the frontal

lobe, and I have reason to fear that

this injury may be permanent. The

patient may never again function as

a normal human being.

SISSY:

Brain damage? You mean he's going to

be a vegetable?

SURGEON:

Vegetable? Vegetable? I wouldn't say

that, no. We won't ascertain the

extent of the injury for some days.

But there is a genuine possibility

of severe and lasting behavioral

defects. I wouldn't classify it in

the vegetable category, however.

EXT. STREET DAY

SISSY IS HITCHING OUT OF TOWN.

A conservative blue Econoline van out of the throngs of

traffic draws itself to Sissy as if on a string.

SISSY HOPS IN.

INT. VAN DAY

The DRIVER stomps on the gas. With a sense of disgust at her

own failure Sissy scrutinizes his sweaty brow, his smug hot

leer, his starving eyes.

Her heart sinks when she sees his gun and his knife. He is

also unzipping his pants.

DRIVER:

I'm going to give it to you like

you've never had it before. Oh, you

didn't know it could be this good.

You're gonna like it. You're gonna

like it. You're gonna like it so

good. You're gonna love it so much

you're gonna cry. You're gonna cry.

You're gonna cry and cry. Do you

like to cry? Do you like it when it

hurts a little bit? Whatever happens

to you, it'll be worth it. The way

I'm gonna give it to you, it'll be

worth anything. Everything. Go ahead

and cry if you want to. I like it

when women cry. It means they

appreciate me.

EXT. STREET DAY

The van pulls over down a dead end alley between warehouses.

INT. VAN DAY

Sissy looks into the back at a soiled mattress.

The driver is taking his dick out of his pants. But with a

swift swoosh, Sissy's left thumb comes down hard on the penis

top, making the driver howl.

His finger fumbles for the gun trigger, but before he gets

to it, Sissy's thumb splats between his eyes. Twice. Three

times. He loses control of the van.

EXT. VAN DAY

It lumbers into a street lamp. Sissy leaps from the vehicle

and runs.

INT. WORKING MAN'S LUNCHEONETTE DAY

Sissy goes in and begins to cry at the counter as she looks

at her thumbs.

EXT. NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE DAY

Into a sunset hitches Sissy.

EXT. ROAD NIGHT

SISSY hops into a semi.

AND ROAD SIGNS:

TRENTON N.J.

BALTIMORE MD:

WASHINGTON D.C.

Then

RICHMOND, VA

EXT. DR. DREYFUS'S HOUSE DAY

An older Dr. Dreyfus answers the door. Without Sissy's asking

he speaks.

DR. DREYFUS

I'm afraid I can't help you.

SISSY:

But Doctor.

DREYFUS:

Please, child, don't be dismayed. We

all have problems these days. But as

the painter Van Gogh said, 'Mysteries

remain, sorrow or melancholy remains,

but the everlasting negative is

balanced by the positive work which

thus is achieved, after all.' I don't

suppose that means very much to you.

I have retired. A victim of a

malpractice suit.

SISSY:

(embracing him)

Oh, Doctor! You've got to do it. You

and nobody else should be allowed to

take away my gift.

In her embrace, the Doctor is presented with her thumbs.

DR. DREYFUS

Ah, the thumb.

LATER sitting inside his study, Dreyfus muses.

DR. DREYFUS

The thumb the thumb the thumb the

thumb the thumb the thumb. One of

evolution's most ingenious inventions;

a built-in tool sensitive to texture,

contour and temperature: an alchemical

lever; the secret key to technology;

the link between the mind and art; a

humanizing device. The marmoset and

the lemur are thumbless; none of the

New World monkeys has opposable

thumbs; the spider monkey's thumbs

are absent or reduced to a tiny

tubercle; the thumbs of the potto

are set at an angle of one hundred

eighty degrees to the other digits.

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