Everybody Wants Some Page #4

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See, now they got

something special to talk about.

"How's your ballplayer doing?"

"Oh, he's still stiff as a bat."

"You still ballin' your player?"

"Oh, he's sliding home."

That's cool, that's cool and everything.

I like p*ssy.

But, you know, what about school?

Like, what do I take?

Oh, oh, oh. That's easy, that's easy.

You get good at making

the school-part work for you, right?

It's like a puzzle, man.

What teachers will

give you a break, what classes to take.

Hey, look, you gotta start the

semester with 12 hours, all right?

But you only gotta be

passing nine to be eligible.

Drop one class, blow off another.

God damn it, Plummer!

Call it! Wake up!

Oh!

Whoo!

- I kinda like our relationship.

- Mmm.

It's like, I throw the junk

and you get yourself out.

F***!

Was that a big deal for you,

transferring in senior year?

No, man, not really.

You know, I'll still have a few hours

that I gotta complete, you know?

I'll go back in late summer,

graduate, do that thing.

And where's, uh, San Luis Obispo?

- Uh, California.

- That's where you're from?

Yeah. Yeah.

Sort of the central coast area.

- Cool. Cool. Mmm...

- Yeah. Yeah. Very cool.

I'm from this, uh,

- small town in the valley.

- Yeah.

- Hey, man, you get high?

- Yeah. Yeah, here and there.

Yeah? Well, I don't know.

Couple of guys

are gonna go burn this with me

in my room pretty soon.

- If you wanna join that.

- Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

- Yeah? All right. All right.

- Cool.

Whoo!

- I'll bet you 10 bucks.

- Ten bucks?

- Yeah. Ten bucks.

- You wanna go... That's steep for you.

Best out of three.

- So, I gotta get two?

- Yeah, Mac, two.

Okay. You feel like losing 10 bucks?

You're just excited

to hit off me for once, huh?

Oh, man. I mean, this is gonna be fun.

This is gonna be very fun, Nesbit.

Man, let me get a little stretch in.

Come on. Come on, Mr. Ax. Strong Man.

Anytime.

F***. I don't believe

what I just f***ing saw.

You know how strong

you'd have to be to do that?

- And the eyes!

- Let me see that.

You know how well

you'd have to see the ball

to hit it with an ax?

F***ing crazy.

You just wouldn't listen, Nez.

You wanna go half price?

We can stop now.

We can call it five bucks.

- No, no, no.

- Double or nothing.

Triple or nothing. Huh?

Yeah, you feeling lucky? I am.

I feel great with those odds.

Triple or nothing sounds fantastic.

Maybe one of the best days

of my life here, Nez.

You know, until tomorrow.

What was that?

You're gonna be squashed, Jake.

Ooh.

I hate this game.

It starts out easy,

and then it just gets f***ing impossible.

I'm telling you.

Yeah, man, I must've wasted,

like, $200 in quarters

on this b*tch last summer,

just getting reamed

by these little f***ers.

You can't win.

Once they get up on you, you're f***ed.

Sounds of amateurs

who have not yet

mastered the gap method.

What the f*** is the gap method?

You're looking at it, Plum.

Like you were saying,

most people lose at this point

not because they get shot,

but because they get overrun.

But I discovered that they actually

don't shoot you from

the absolute front row.

- Sh*t, they don't?

- No.

You just gotta create

a clearing of columns.

- You see what I'm doing right there?

- Yeah.

Make your space, okay?

You just hold your ground in there.

Just gets a little hairy.

They speed up at the end. See that guy?

See how fast he's going?

All right? But you just gotta remain calm,

meet them in the middle and...

F***ing nailed that!

F***in A, man! Okay! Okay!

Gimme some dap! Gimme some dap!

- Oh, sh*t, come on.

- Oh, sh*t. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh!

It's the same shot every time!

- Same shot every time!

- All right. You know, um, Mac?

I... This is supposed to be fun,

and now I'm not having fun.

Well, it's not his fault. It's our fault.

Thank you.

- You can't teach this chemistry.

- You can't.

We've been together for three years!

I know where I'm going

with it before he even gets it to me.

Yeah, and I know where he wants it.

- That's special.

- Let me talk, man.

- That ass is golden.

- Absolutely, say no more.

Whoa. Hey. The b*tch stick?

Are you kidding me?

What, I'm just trying to make the shot.

Okay. Not with this you're not.

Okay, Brum, have your balls dropped?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

Okay, now play like you got some

f***ing semen in your sack, Brum.

Okay.

- Okay? All right.

- Okay.

- What the hell is this?

- Please.

- What are you doing?

- Putting it on.

- First time wearing cologne?

- No.

Get it on there, man.

Get it under your arms

and on your chest.

Don't just put it on your neck. Come on.

I don't know, man.

Too much of this smells like cat piss.

Yeah, no sh*t.

Trying to help you out,

and you're gonna question me?

Jesus. I'm telling you, man,

chicks dig this sh*t. All right?

Now you can come back here and

do the five-knuckle shuffle

all night if you want to.

I don't really care.

What's the five-knuckle shuffle?

- Jesus, freshman, figure it out, man.

- Oh.

Hey, good one, McReynolds.

You're so f***ing desperate, dude.

Desperate for p*ssy!

This shirt makes me f***ing sad, man.

Uh, what's up, guys? You lost?

Oh, I got the best cheese on campus.

I mean, girls, they come up to me

out of the blue and they say,

"You got the best cheese on campus."

Yeah?

Sure those pants couldn't

be a little tighter there?

Nope.

No?

What are you doing?

I'm going through your album collection.

Oh, okay, don't mind me.

Holy sh*t!

Nesie, look at what I found here.

"2nd Team All-State."

- Yeah, so?

- You're a f***ing badass!

Hey, guys! We got

a 2nd Team All-Stater among us!

F*** off with that sh*t, boy.

Golly gee, you're good. You're good.

Hey, I'm sure afraid

to hit off you, 2nd Team All-State.

Yeah, I'm scared. Ooh!

2nd Team All-State.

- Scariness.

- Wait. Oh, wait.

Did I ask you guys

to be in my room right now?

No. No. Goodbye.

Well, look at you.

Nice f***ing life

you got here, Joe College.

I mean, you got your whole room

to yourself for the weekend,

and you got your albums.

This is mine now.

Borrowing this.

Hey, wait. Hey, no.

Hey, you return that

with one scratch on it, Nez...

What? What?

What?

Just return my album, man.

What? What?

What?

Ooh.

F***, that guy's weird.

Oh, yeah, 95 on the gun, official.

Could've gone to anywhere in Texas.

I had a stack of offers

about that high, that high.

- Almost went to USC.

- Were you drafted?

Yeah, yeah.

The Blue Jays almost picked me up,

but I told them I'm going to college

for a couple of years.

- Good move.

- Yeah, yeah.

- You drafted?

- No.

McReynolds was.

Really?

Hmm.

You got some moves.

Alison, right?

Like your dress.

- Blue, like your eyes.

- ...baseball team.

- Sh*t, you like baseball, too?

- Some nice... F***.

F*** it, man.

- We suck tonight.

- Dude, this is getting ridiculous.

We suck so f***ing hard.

I'm gonna get a drink. Man's drink!

- A real drink!

- Yeah! Yeah, do that!

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