Everybody Wants Some Page #6

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complements then conflicts.

What I like to do

is a little sugar, cayenne pepper,

you add a little

whiskey, mmm, a little lime.

- Finn?

- Yeah?

Hey, yeah,

I just want a f***ing drink, man.

Pardon me for trying

to class up the joint.

Don't get low.

That's right, freshman.

Yeah, you keep up that

funky-ass spin sh*t.

I've got you figured out, son.

Yeah, that's just what I want.

You thinking you got me clocked,

then I set you up.

I'll let you know when I feel threatened.

You feeling threatened yet?

All right, smartass.

- 19-17.

- Actually, it's 17 -19.

Thank you, Nesbit! 17 -19, is that better?

Uh... No, I'm scared now, but, yeah...

Can we f***ing play now?

God damn it!

Glen, get your head

out of your f***ing ass! Let's go!

- 20-17!

- 17 -point.

I swear to f***ing God! Shut your mouth!

17 -point!

Hey, good game, man. Let's play again.

F***!

F***.

Stupid f***ing game!

- My dad was a table...

- F*** off.

Now I gotta put out that f***ing fire.

- That dude needs to relax.

- Thanks, Jake.

I told you so, man.

He broke the f***ing paddle.

Look at that sh*t.

Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake.

Here.

Uh-oh. If things calm down,

Nez, you're next, bro.

- F***!

- You're up, man.

I don't think

you could use that one, though.

He does not like losing, at all!

Lot of Twilight Zones, man.

Yeah.

Almost every single episode.

Recorded them all

over the last year or so.

Yeah, you got that one

where the lady,

she's getting the surgery

to correct how ugly she is?

- Yeah!

- So she gets surgery,

but it turns out that she's beautiful,

and everyone else is, like, hideous.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, dude.

- You know what that's called?

- No.

- "The Eye of the Beholder."

- Yeah, yeah, that one.

Yeah, Season 2, Episode 5,

if I'm not mistaken.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa there, Willoughby.

There's no way

you're gonna suck that down

in one hit, man.

Yeah. Yeah.

There's gonna be too much smoke.

You know, like, there's not even

enough room in your body

for the amount of smoke

there's gonna be.

Really?

Well, take notes, boys,

'cause I grew up on two rivers.

All right, I got f***ing swimmer's lungs.

I'm a river rat.

And don't forget, he does have

a double chamber

cooling system on that thing.

I don't care if he grew up

on 40 f***ing rivers,

it's just not happening.

Okay.

Okay. Well, get ready.

Oh!

Oh, sh*t, no, no, no. Is it?

- Oh, my God.

- Un-f***ing real, man.

- Sh*t!

- F***ing unreal.

Super-human!

Wow, man.

F***ing mahogany rush, man.

Oh, you know,

I don't wanna be presumptuous.

I know that I only

have been here for a few days,

but I'm pretty sure that

that is a new school record.

Bullshit. Bullshit. Just...

Let's break that

school record right f***ing now.

Oh, yeah? All right.

- I don't know, dude.

- Go for it, man.

God. Listen to this song.

Listen to this progression here, okay?

Listen to how it goes up.

It steps up from one moment to

another and leads you there, just...

Oh, yes. I mean, look,

you can play an E pentatonic

scale at 100 miles an hour

till somebody's ears burn off,

you can learn that, right?

But finding the tangents

within the framework,

therein lies the artistry, man.

You know, a f***ing

bunch of dudes jump around on stage,

jerking each other off,

you know, in spandex,

isn't f***ing music.

I don't know, man. I kinda like Van Halen.

Well, yeah, Plum, you do.

And you know why you do?

Because corporate America

is shoving something down your throat

and making you believe it,

because that's what

they want you to believe.

I mean, guys,

it's about finding out who you are

in the space

in-between the notes

that they're offering you.

I mean, you gotta tune in, man.

You gotta tune in.

You know,

and don't be afraid

to let the experience find you.

It's like Carl Sagan says, man,

"The beauty of a living thing

isn't about the atoms that go into it,

"it's how those atoms are put together."

I mean, language, f***ing language.

What is language?

Language is a construct, man.

You know?

And we used to be telepathic.

Humans were telepathic, man.

We could just... Right here. You know?

The f***ing Mayans knew it, man.

The Druids f***ing knew it.

And you think

the way things are going now

that we're ever gonna get that back?

- F***ing no.

- No.

Do you guys wanna try

a little telepathic sh*t?

Let's do it.

Okay, lock in. Lock in.

- You locked in? All right.

- Yeah.

- What am I thinking about?

- Baseball.

- Having a tail.

- Cereal?

F***.

Dude, I was thinking about sharks.

- F***!

- I was thinking about sharks.

Sharks have tails.

That's a good point. That's a good point.

I wish I had a tail.

F***, that'd be awesome.

- Oh, my God.

- F*** you!

I'll take one.

Sharpshooter status, right here.

Coming at you! Coming at you!

Been working out.

Hey! Man-child here

thinks he can take me.

Even though he knows

I'm the reigning knuckles champ.

Two years in a row. Undefeated.

B*tch.

Hey, have you noticed everything

around here's a competition, huh?

Even taking hits from bongs.

- Look at you, ping-pong pimp.

- Yeah!

You see that back there though?

Mac almost took my head off.

Hey, look,

if Mac wanted to

take your head off with that paddle,

he would have.

All right, man,

he just don't like losing at anything.

None of us do.

F*** yeah!

Okay, look, that's just, what,

Willoughby, borderline insane?

- About there?

- Yeah, border. Borderline.

Well, you notice

how everybody was somewhat courteous

- on the first day or so?

- Yeah.

See, now the gloves are off.

All of our true

assholish nature is emerging.

Ah. Not very healthy.

Until we get out

on the field, Jakie.

This, this, all of this,

this is why we're

one of the best teams in the nation, man.

You get a bunch

of competitors together...

- Yeah.

- ...and you're addicted to winning.

That's a championship team right there...

- Oh, I see.

- ...flicking each other's knuckles.

- All right.

- Damn!

That's all swolled up.

That's gonna be erupting

like Mount St. Helens

or some sh*t, man.

You had enough?

See, you can tell a lot

about somebody

from these stupid little competitions.

Really?

Yeah, something's

always revealed, like...

Are you a competitor? Are you a gamer?

You know, can you find a way

to overcome all obstacles

to practically will yourself to victory.

Or, are you a...

- F*** it!

- ...quitter?

I'm f***ing done, all right!

- Folded like a lawn chair.

- Yup. Yup, yup, yup.

- Good game, man.

- You can't...

No, you can't beat me twice in a row!

I know that for a f***ing fact!

And it's best two out of three, okay?

Them's the rule, Brums!

- Okay, man.

- Okay, all right!

Give me my hat, all right?

Stop laughing, Coma!

It's not f***ing funny!

Tomorrow, same time, all right?

Sure thing.

Stop laughing, Dale!

Hey, you're still the champ!

F*** off, Brum!

You'll always be the champ, Nesie.

Shut up. Let's go.

- Hey, did you guys see me win?

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