Evolution Page #5

somebody's house with what they own?

You wantyour shirt?

Seriously, take it.

You must be cold, right?

Areyou cold? Is that it?

Why should I get to wear the shirt

when it's your shirt?

It's amazing how manywomen

open their shirt to him.

I'm sure he'll letyou borrow the shirt

forjust today. Right, Professor?

Wegota code 12-72 in Valley Vista.

- Gotta go, babe.

- Now?

They're calling.

Wait.

Be careful.

- You'll take care ofthe check, right?

- Yeah.

I want those shirts back, Denise.

Hey, you gotta admit...

this animal attack

has an ominous feel to it.

Check it out?

- Check it out.

- All right!

We're under the microscope so let's be

systematic and subtle in what we do.

- No cowboy stuff, okay?

- Professionals.

OfficerJohnson.

- Fellas, why areyou here?

- We heard about the animal attack.

And part ofourjob

with the Health Department...

is to ascertain

ifthere's any health risk.

You know what? No. Not this time.

Forget about it.

- You touch it with your bare hands?

- That would be a serious no-no.

- You did? He touched it.

- That's not good.

- What do we do?

- I don't know.

Okay, why don'tyou guys come in

and take a look?

I'll be checking things out around here

in this vicinity.

This dog is all ass.

Ira, look at this, man.

He would have come

from in here, right?

It'sjust used for storage

and access under the house.

Looks like he crawled right through

the dirt there.

Hey, guys.

I was conducting a parameter check...

and there's something

you'd better see.

You liked that thing,

you're gonna love this.

What is it?

Great googa-mooga!

What'd I tell you?

They're crawling out.

They're trying to breathe

in our atmosphere.

Fortunately, they haven't been able

to adaptyet.

Hey, Ira, I think I know

how these things got here.

How?

Well, this entire area...

is a honeycomb ofcaves

and old mine shafts.

Ifmemory serves,

the Moenave cave system...

starts a few miles from here,

west ofthe golfcourse.

Runs into the foothills, continues to

the Kaibab plateau and into Lake Powell.

Our cave is smack dab

in the middle ofthe system.

It's all connected.

- Could you repeat that?

- I'm impressed.

Hey, beneath this calm, sexy exterior

beats the heart ofa true scientist.

Whoa, guys! That one's moving.

What the hell is it doing?

It's trying to breathe.

That's like a big loogie!

Mazeltov. It's a boy.

It's oxygen tolerant.

It's fying away.

Is that a bad thing?

Only ifyou're a human being.

You know how much I hate shopping.

We need to find you something

nice forThanksgiving.

I got enough clothes.

Tony, that color's great on you.

Whoa.

This might be the place.

Ever used one ofthese before?

Just 'cause I'm a school teacher,

don't make me a p*ssy.

Ladies, a fying extraterrestrial's

in the store. Can we focus?

I'm in here.Just a minute.

Just a second, please.

I said,just a second, b*tch!

How'd you like me to scratch

the eyes out ofyour skull?

Here, birdy-birdy-birdy.

Birdy!

All right.

IfI was a giant, nasty alien bird

in a department store, where would I be?

Lingerie.

- Notyou, the bird.

- Lingerie.

Help!

You go low. I'm going high.

Got it.

We'll never find it.

I lost him!

How doyou lose a 20-foot bird

in the mall?

Ira, I don't know.

What do we do now?

We've established that "ca-caw, ca-caw"

and "tookie-tookie" don't work.

Right. Sorry.

What doyou say, Ira?

Pack it in?

Youare

Sobeautifultome

Step back, Harry.

I'm gonna shoot him.

Stand down.

I'm gonna kill this one myself.

Give me a chance.

I'm communicating here.

Youaresobeautiful

Tome

Wayne, would you please stop,

becauseyou are embarrassing me.

Can'tyousee

You're every--

You're everything

thatIhope for

It's working.

Yeah, sing, sing.

Rub some funk on it.

Andyou're everythingIneed

Here he comes!

- Grab the girl. I'll get the bird.

- Got it!

All right! Nice shot.

I'm sorry. I swear to God

I will never shoplift again.

Good.

So what doyou want?

Light meat or dark?

You have to ask?

It's dead now.

Yeah.

Got tostart to feelin'solow

AndIdecidedquickly

Yes, Idid

To disco downandcheck out theshow

Yeah, they were dancin'andsingin'

Andmovin'to thegroovin'

Andjust whenithitme

Somebodyturnedaroundandshouted

Play thatfunkymusic, whiteboy

Play thatfunkymusic right

I'mstandingat the edge of

the Valley Vistahousingcommunity...

wherejust below me there are dozens

ofgiant, odd-looking dead creatures.

We should stress to ourviewers that

we have received no official word from--

I saw this ugly tentacle thing

come out ofthe ground.

It tried to grab my private parts.

Batted it away.

Got my hand.

An atmosphere ofanxiety and confusion

in the greater Glen Canyon area.

We stand outside

the state capitol building...

awaiting comment from the governor's

office about the nature and origin...

ofthese extraordinary creatures.

Governor Lewis, this way.

Whywas I not informed that we have

aliens crawling over my beloved state?

I've got 400 media vultures outside my

office who know more about this than I.

I ought to throw all ofyou in prison.

Not that cushy federal place

with the loosejumpsuits.

State prison, with the crotch binders!

I'm sorry, but there were security

breaches made by Dr. Kane and his team.

Wait a minute. No, no. Excuse me.

That's not exactly true,

General Woodman.

I believe the Governor's question

was directed at me, Dr. Reed.

Put a plug in it. I'm not interested

in your bureaucratic crapola.

What I reallywant to know is

how bad this thing is.

It's bad, Governor.

The new ground sensors

and the satellite thermal scans...

indicate a potential problem.

I don't know how to read this!

What problem?

Somebody, please, take this ugly bag

ofsnakes and lay them out straight.

- Allow me.

- You are--

Dr. Allison Reed.

How doyou do?

Carla, would you mind

The red markings indicate the growth

ofthe alien ecosystem.

Unless we do something immediately,

we will lose Glen Canyon in three days.

Great merciful Christ.

In a week, the rest ofArizona.

Then the entire Southwest.

In two months, the United States

officially belongs to them.

And we are extinct.

You're shittin' me!

Come on, admit it.

You're glad to see us, huh?

I, for one, am glad to seeyou.

Call the MP's. Have them arrested.

Hey, wejust blew a giant alien bird

out ofa department store.

We're covering upyour mess.

Governor, Dr. Ira Kane. I'm chairman of

the science department at the college.

My associate.

Harry Phineas Block, adjunct professor

ofgeology. Voted foryou.

Wayne Grey. Took some chemistry

in high school.

You two gentlemen are the original

discovers ofthe phenomena, correct?

Yes, they are. And they're also

responsible for the mess we're in now.

- Here we go.

- What?

They broke into the contained area

and breached our safety procedures.

Causing the dissemination ofalien

organisms outside the secured area.

- Liar, liar, pants on fire!

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