Expresso Bongo Page #10

I will, darling, if you ever get an offer.

So far you've not had

an offer of any sort.

Mumsy, that's quite unfair.

It's only my third season.

Cynthia, you have lipstick on your teeth.

It was absolutely topping, Miss Collins.

- Word of an officer and a gentleman.

- Oh, rather. Oh, goodness!

You did very well, my little robin!

It was a most moving experience!

I got a message from Miss Collins herself.

She's invited me 'round

to her dressing room for a drink.

This is better than I thought.

If she takes a fancy to you,

I may be able to book you onto

any other shows she's doing.

You've got to get into the habit

of cultivating the right people,

because every right person, you know,

makes you a little more right.

Ah, Harry, just the man

we're looking for. Look.

I want you to take a picture

of the boy with Miss Collins.

- They won't let us in.

- What do you mean they won't let you in?

You've got to be with the right people.

Now, you wait there.

- Now, may we...

- No press in here, I'm afraid.

- But...

- Not even the Financial Times.

Can't you recognise fellow artistes?

This is Bongo Herbert.

Oh, I invited Mr Herbert

to come around for a drink.

Well, in that case, do come in,

Mr Herbert. With your father.

Oh, isn't he sweet?

Isn't he pure, pure heaven?

Miss Collins, I want to tell you

what a wonderful experience it was

to witness the triumphant return

of one of the greatest.

I'm sure you've always prayed for me.

The face is familiar,

but I can't place the flattery.

- Johnny Jackson.

- Manager and friend...

I didn't know the two went together.

...to the star of the future,

Bongo Herbert.

Well, stars of present and future,

I must love you and leave you all.

Late nights are hell

for a man with a stomach condition.

Good night.

- Sleep well, darling.

- I'll let you know.

Shrine is a masterpiece.

Come to my office tomorrow.

Pleasure.

I asked you around for drinks, Bongo,

to tell you,

I think you've got an awful lot

to offer, and I hope I can help you.

Oh, goodness, Bongo, do say something.

Yes, speak to Cynthia.

She's your generation.

Something in Cockney.

Apples and pears and things.

I thought you was marvellous,

Miss Collins.

- Ah.

- Now, isn't that nice?

It was nice of you to come 'round.

So sorry to have to rush you,

but Miss Collins has to get dressed.

I've always thought you was marvellous,

Miss Collins, ever since I was a kid.

- Funnily enough, so have I.

- I happen to have a photographer.

No more photographs. We've had all the...

Just one for the kid's album.

Please, Miss Collins.

I can't think of a cuter album to be in.

Go on, get your masterpiece.

It may be royalty next.

Flash them pearlies, Bongo.

That's enough. Just one for the album.

Miss Collins, you have just brought

a moment of happiness

into the life of a deprived child.

From now on, I'm personally going to see

that he's available for any show

of yours at any time.

Bless you. Home to beddy-byes, Bongo baby.

- Good night.

- Good night, doll.

You really think

I did all right tonight, Guv?

You have done well tonight, drummer boy.

So have I.

All you need to succeed in this business

is one success after another.

Now, remember, on this battlefield,

the only mercy shown to losers

is to finish 'em off. But not to worry.

- Home, Bongo. See you in the morning.

- But I don't want to go home.

Well, what's the matter, kid?

Aren't you comfortable in Beast's flat?

Well, look now, don't let those

girls of his get you down.

Here's a bonus. Stop off

and buy yourself a sandwich.

Taxi!

This is better than

beating your brains out at Leon's.

The Caprice. And don't eat too much!

- Oh, sorry, miss.

- It's okay, I'm just leaving.

- Would you like the flowers?

- Ohh...

They're yours.

It's lovely having you back again,

Miss Collins.

I remember when you done

your first show here.

So do I.

- What's the stage doorman called?

- Arthur.

That's right, Arthur.

- Good night, Arthur.

- You remembered my name.

But of course. Good night.

Could I have your autograph,

Miss Collins, please?

Of course, thank you.

- Like the show?

- Loved it.

- Good. You, too?

- You gave a divine performance.

- Could you sign 'To Harry', please?

- Yes, I'll do that.

- Thank you.

- Bye-bye.

- Oh, Miss Collins.

- Well, hello.

The photographers have all gone.

Oh, I hate 'em.

They try make you look a proper Charlie.

You look more of a Charlie

when they leave you alone!

Well, good night again.

Uh, Miss Collins, you...

You asked me for a drink.

So I did. Well, you better

come and have one then.

What I have I got to lose? My virtue?

- Relax, let yourself go.

- Cor, what a place!

- Mix me a champagne cocktail, darling.

- Yes, of course, but I've never...

Oh, what am I saying? I'll mix it.

Maybe you'd like to wash your hands

or something.

Oh, no, thanks. I washed my hands

in the dressing room, before the show.

- I know what that is.

- Good. Then, open it.

I bet your manager gives you

lots of that to drink.

Johnny's not too bad

when you get to know him.

He gave me a quid tonight

to buy coffee and sandwiches.

I'd like to see his face now,

if he could see me.

Gave you a quid?

Oh, yes, he's all right with money.

He gives me wages every week.

And even then, he's always

slipping me half a bob for this or that.

Is he your manager or your owner?

He's my manager.

I owe everything I am to him.

All the best, then.

I can see you're

used to champagne cocktails.

Nice drink, innit?

- Very nice. Help yourself to another.

- Thanks. Don't mind if I do.

You mean this manager of yours

pays you a salary?

What do you mean? Wages, like?

What do you do here?

Drop of this, drop of that?

That's it. Not too much of that.

Well, it's not like wages exactly.

Not like I used to get

when I was working the Fun Fair.

We go halves, see.

Everything what I earn,

we share and share alike.

Very nice of Johnny, really.

- Cheerio, then.

- Cheerio.

You've made a couple of records, too,

I understand?

Goes up your nose

if you drink it too fast!

Yes, The Shrine on the Second Floor

number's my second.

How do you think it'll go?

I understand there's a market, although

personally, mothers leave me cold.

They do? Me, too. I hate mothers.

Do you know, when I was a kid in the war,

my mother used to leave me

to play on the bombsite all day,

while she went out and worked

in a munitions factory.

I suppose we all had to do our bit.

I know I did. Often.

I think I'll have another one of these.

Take it easy, now. Have you eaten tonight?

No, I haven't eaten all day.

Too sort of nervous.

I bet you never get nervous, Dixie.

I bet nothing in the whole world

ever makes you nervous.

You know, you wouldn't

think so to look at me,

but I'm really a very nervous type.

- Ohh!

- Oopsy you, I think maybe you are.

Sit down.

I never, ever thought

I'd ever have a drink with you, Dixie.

If anybody had said I would,

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