Expresso Bongo Page #2

People are always waiting.

You wait for the slummers to come in,

the slummers wait

for the girls to go on stage,

the girls wait for the slummers

to go home to their wives.

Five shows a day, non-stop,

everybody's waiting.

That's life. We all have to wait together.

I love that Chinese philosophy.

Here come the raincoats.

You better flash those almond eyes.

- Hello, Johnny, glad to see you.

- Hi, Kakky, how's the film business?

Ah, I have very interesting plans

with Dietrich the girl, Gable the boy

and Brando for my heavy.

Good chemistry, huh?

Now, look, Kakky, do me a favour

and tap somebody else this week.

It sparkles! Something.

All I've gotta do, get these three

people and I am back in business!

Good, good. We'll all buy tickets.

Now, where the hell is Maisie? Maisie!

You know, I was the man who introduced

the bubble bath into show business!

- Well, the bubble's burst now, Dad.

- Tell Maisie to get the lead out.

Who first bathed a girl in ass's milk?

Answer me that.

When I made

The Private Life of Omar Khayyam.

- Does 10 shillings speak?

- Mmm, you'll be my associate producer.

- Be great, be great.

- Dietrich the girl, Gable the man and...

Good night!

So what did you do?

Decide to give them another show?

Here, carry the dinner.

- Why can't we go out sometimes?

- Maisie...

Why can't we see a bit of life?

Five shows a day, you see life, Maisie.

I'm taking you home

for a little light relief.

- Johnny Jackson, I want to dance.

- But you've been dancing all day!

- I want to go to a jazz club.

- Look, definitely no jazz.

So, why're you against jazz

all of a sudden?

- Look, Mais...

- It's ridiculous.

You're making money out of these things,

so why shouldn't we

listen to 'em, occasionally?

Maisie, why do you have to torture me?

A woman has moods.

But, Maisie doll, can't you listen to...

- Hi, Johnny, how's you, man?

- Hallelujah!

Johnny, I wanna dance!

Sure, sure. I'll go and see

if Arthur Murray's around someplace.

Cokes, Peps or coffee?

One of each. We like to mix our drinks.

The sky's the limit, doll!

Well, give me a sandwich. I'm hungry.

What, and spoil your supper? Here.

Chew on this for a while.

Here he comes. If we're lucky,

we'll be witness to an affray.

- Come on.

- And if I did?

And if things weren't bad enough,

we have to pick on amateur talent night.

Come on, let's go.

Sit down. This is my night out, remember?

Oh, come on, kid,

we've got homework to do.

Sit down.

Bad for your reputation as a manager

to be seen working.

Beast.

Oh, hello. Hiya, talent.

Beast, you shouldn't let these

spare-time geniuses use your skins.

I'm not a musician any more,

I'm a wet nurse.

One...

Two... Three...

Four... Five...

Six... Seven...

Eight!

Well, love ain't no lady

And love ain't no fool

Young love is rough and tough

And if you wanna win,

you gotta play it real cool

Yeah, love, like a fire

Cosy and bright

Warms you with flames of desire

And burns you up all day

and tears your heart out at night

Oh, when her lips look real invitin'

Brother, you're hit

Just take it slow, oh, daddio

You'll live it up and soon be dead

Love is a fever

Death in disguise

Love has no rules for fools

Who fall for all the lies

that women tell with their eyes

Ooh, ooh, yeah!

Love is a fever

Yeah, death in disguise

Love has no rules for fools

Who fall for all the lies

that women tell with their eyes

Oh, just take it slow, oh, daddio

You'll live it up and soon be dead

I'd say that child's got more

sex than age.

How would I know? I'm abnormally normal.

- Leon's Tom-Tom!

- Say again.

I've got the perfect setting

for all this teenage violence.

Here, you carry on with your dinner.

I'll be right back.

You, uh, strangle the old vocal cords

very effectively, my boy.

- Do what?

- The old tonsil caper.

Ah, that's nothing.

It's the old drums I fancy.

I got the rhythm kind of natural, like.

It comes natural.

It's that golden voice

you want to cultivate.

Any schmuck can irritate those skins.

I wanna play drums.

Well, um, perhaps

I can arrange that for you.

Now, look.

Let's discuss it over a cool Coke.

- Are you a teacher, then?

- No, professor.

- Got no money for lessons.

- Naturally. Who has?

- Two vintage Cokes, Elvis.

- I've got one, thanks.

Thank you and good night,

Johnny Jackson. P.S., sleep well.

Maisie, I want you to meet

a talent of the first order.

- Um, what's your name, kid?

- Bert Rudge.

- Bert Rudge, this is Maisie King.

- How are you? You have the dessert.

It's been yet another memorable evening!

Oh, wait a minute, doll! Wait a minute.

Here. Put your address down there.

I'll talk to you

first thing in the morning.

I gotta go to work tomorrow morning.

I work the Fun Fair,

bottom of Frith Street.

- What, with that golden talent?

- Are you sending me up?

- Who looks after you, kid?

- Me.

- No manager?

- What, for this? I do it for kicks.

Well, you're off sick tomorrow, son.

You've got a great future as a singer.

I don't want to sing,

I want to play drums.

You shall have my own personal kit.

I'll see you at your home

first thing in the morning.

Oh, and by the way,

your first lesson as a professional,

no more singing for free.

Oh, I've left my dinner behind.

You carried me away, kid! Carried me away!

And how's the most unavailable

strip in town?

Still doing her own stripping. Thank you.

Get back to your washboard, scrubber.

I'm switching you to an expresso.

- Oh, no...

- Oh, yes. Get.

You owe me money. Work for it.

Look, Maisie doll, I'm always waiting

for you while you're singing, don't I?

So, you can wait for me while I'm working.

All right, but let's go somewhere.

We're going! Home!

And your breath smells of garlic.

The pickled cucumber's leaking

all over my hand. Sorry.

My favourite perfume.

Salt beef.

Are we always going to celebrate

our lover's tiffs with delicatessen?

You know caviar gives you a rash.

Leon's sandwiches are the worst in Soho.

That fur isn't the best either.

You know, as soon as

I make my first million...

- Yes?

- I'm gonna have it cleaned for you.

All right, so, tell me.

Tell you what? We're back in camp,

far from the Indians. Relax.

I don't want to relax.

I'm still waiting to hear

what you thought of my new voice.

Mmm, I think I made the right choice.

Delicious. Still lukewarm.

- Johnny...

- You're a lucky kid!

- I'd like your opinion!

- Black Velvet without the champagne.

I want an honest opinion.

Relax.

I'll tell you. No charge.

I'm not in the mood.

- I want a frank opinion.

- So take your things off.

How can I give you an honest opinion

while you're dressed?

Maisie...

Maisie, did we walk 'round London

with you like that?

Well, there's not much point in

putting my things on at the theatre

if I've gotta to take 'em

all off again, here.

- Supposing you had an accident.

- You're the only accident I ever had.

Oh, I love your love talk.

No, I don't want a man, I want a manager.

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