Faces Page #3

---

who doesn't say what you mean very well.

What you meant was this was a wonderful evening,

and you enjoy my house and you like me.

But like you said, you're crude.

I'm sorry.

Honey, I was only tryin' to be funny.

- I thought you said you were trying to be funny.

- Well, you go with your

You go!

If you're in such a damned hurry.

My reputation's at stake here!

Ah.

Good night.

Good night, Jeannie.

[Whispers]

I'm sorry.

I don't know how you do it.

Well, I just

I just close my eyes, and I

I see how much liquor I can swallow.

[Blows Nose]

[Sighs]

I pray that I'll die and be...

martyred by the church

for my service to humanity.

You're a lovely girl.

I'm too old to be lovely.

And I haven't got a heart of gold.

The nights are long, and Little Orphan Annie

of Hard Knocksville gets tough, you know.

I think I'd better go.

Then go ahead! Get the hell out!

Beat it, snowball!

- Right?

- Right.

You're on your own again.

[Laughing]

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

[Door Hinges Squeak]

[Woman]

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Come here.

Well, how did you find that out?

It's very important, but I don't think

there's anything you can do about it.

- Maria, I want to talk to ya.

- Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Louise, I just came home from the office.

Yes, I had a very hard day,

and something important came up. Can...

she call you back later?

Uh-huh.

- Uh-huh.

- [Chuckling]

Yeah?

Uh-huh.

[Laughing]

Uh-huh.

Louise, we'll call you back later.

Good-bye.

I'm gonna have a drink.

You kill me.

- Yeah? Why do I kill ya?

- [Laughing]

Why do I kill ya?

Why do I kill ya, huh?

Why? What do you want to drink?

Whatever it is,

I want it on the rocks, straight and dirty...

because I feel very, very bitchy tonight.

Well, I feel very, very bitchy too.

That makes two of us.

Blue Monday for me today.

All day the phone rang and rang.

"Hello, Maria?" "Good-bye, Maria."

- "Hello, darling. Good-bye, darling."

- Hello, darling. [Chuckles]

- Your sense of humor's going to

destroy our marriage someday.

- I wasn't trying to be funny.

- [Chuckles]

- Listen, Maria, go get me a cigarette, will ya?

Ooh. We're out. I'm sorry.

I smoked myself silly today.

- You're such a conformist.

- Like hell I am!

Dickie, why don't you take me

to a movie, okay?

- Why doesn't somebody fill these stupid boxes?

- You smoke too much.

There's a Bergman film

in the neighborhood.

I don't feel like

getting depressed tonight.

But you always love foreign film.

- Where the hell are the cigarettes?

- We're out!

- What are you getting so huffy about?

- There's nothing on television tonight.

If I had a cigarette, I could think.

- You're hungry.

- Right!

But you're always hungry.

That's because I always

come home at dinnertime.

Oh, I love you

when you look like that.

Look like what?

Tell me quick, and I'll write it down.

- You wanna fight, huh?

- [Giggling] Yeah, I wanna fight.

Smug. I knew it the first time

I looked at you.

- The better-than-you expression.

- That's right.

- I'm the pompous puke of all times.

- Yeah, and you smell like a brewery too.

And I smell like a brewery too.

And you'll take me

to a movie show?

I'll... take you...

any place that

your little heart desires...

if you'll just keep that lovely mouth of yours

closed for a couple of seconds.

I have a lovely dinner for you.

Come on. Take off your coat

and stay a while, bright eyes.

Well, that sounds like

some kind of a proposition.

Oh, Dickie, you're so innocent,

it's hard to get through to you sometimes.

- Oh, really?

- [Chuckles]

- No place like home.

- What?

- I said have you ever been to Rome?

- Italy?

[Chuckles]

- I love you.

- But you always love me when I bring food.

- Well, that's because I'm a glutton.

- Were you with Fred tonight?

- Yeah.

- I think he's a terrible father.

He never talks to the kids

or plays with 'em.

The kids are grown up.

Nineteen isn't grown.

I don't like Fred anymore.

- Well, why don't you like Fred anymore?

- Because...

he cheats on his wife.

[Cutlery Clinks]

- Now, who told you that?

- Louise.

Oh, Louise.

- Oh.

- Fred talks in his sleep.

He comes home at night,

and he just stares at her. Doesn't say a word.

They have a drink. Silence.

- They eat, they say nothing.

- Salt and pepper, please.

They get into bed

and they say nothing.

And I forgot,

he just barely looks at the kids...

and Louise says

that it's because of that.

Because of what?

Well, she reads,

and he just rolls over and goes to sleep...

and talks to all these different girls.

And Louise says that they have to be

in compromising positions.

[Laughing]

Good old Freddie.

[Chuckling]

He says things like

- Like "Roll over."

- [Chuckling]

"Let's try that again." Yeah.

Things like that.

Things like that, huh?

And do you know what he did with

Do you know what he did with Darlene?

Darlene? Who the hell's Darlene?

The girl in his dream.

Oh.

Well, what did he do with Darlene?

Huh?

[Chuckles]

You ain't gonna tell me?

[Chuckles]

He kiss He kisses her.

[Chuckling]

You know.

Oh.

You mean... he goes

[Chuckling]

You You mean he goes

[Wheezing Laugh]

- Bad!

- [Laughing]

- Is that what you mean?

- No.

- No.

- [Laughing]

- I Yes, but

- [Laughing]

He says for her to do it to him.

- That's funny.

- When he gets

- Well

- Well, that's what he said.

Yeah, well, you know,

Freddie's getting on in years.

And a man Freddie's age

You're Fred's age!

Yeah, but sexual nightmares

are not one of my problems.

Besides, what the hell has that got to do

with Fred being a good father?

Huh?

[Laughing]

Well, I

I'm sorry I talk too much.

Well, you know, Fred puts up

with his kids'asinine friends.

- You know that?

- I

His kids wanna drink,

he lets 'em drink.

They want to smoke,

he lets them smoke.

He Well, he sends

the sons of b*tches to college.

They each have

their own cars, you know.

And he gives them 50 bucks a week

spending money.

Can you imagine that?

And his daughter is beautiful.

His son is a big 6-foot-3 hunk of man...

and the girls think he's cute.

And he's got Simon,

a one-year-old baby.

I wish I was that kind of a father.

Well, we weren't discussing

that part of it anyway.

I'm talking about it

from a woman's point of view.

Ohh.

A woman's "taf" you point of

[Laughs]

[Laughing]

A woman's point of view. Oh, God.

I can't go to the goddamn movie

with you.

Jesus Christ Almighty.

Oh, boy.

[Chuckling]

I can I can see it all now.

[Laughing]

Boy. You know,

one of these days...

you girls are gonna go, "Charge!"

And you know somethin' funny?

We'll all surrender,

and you can have everything.

You can have the house

and the cars and the office...

and the bills

and the headaches...

and we'll sit home and laugh!

That's what we're gonna do.

All we ask for is peace.

To give us our daily beating and three

square meals a day and bread and water...

and we'll just sit staring at the sun...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes