Family Weekend Page #3

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Well, do I have

to explain it to you?

It's really

not that difficult.

Thor.

Does that mean that

you don't find my work

sensual anymore?

Sensual.

Thor.

What's your work look like? I haven't

seen one of them finished in five years.

Yeah, I think I still like it.

Sensual!

Painting is a process.

You can finish a process.

It's not like

baking a pie.

Thor. Thor. Thor.

I don't cook.

So it's not a problem.

Aah! Cramp. Cramp.

Walk it off.

walk it off.

When a horned toad

gets angry,

it squirts blood

out of its eyes.

Sensual.

Charley horse balm.

Anyone got

any Tiger Balm?

Painting

is a process.

# Sensual...

Don't just pop 'em

in the oven,

and, ding, they're done.

Well, I'm done...

A horned toad

is actually a lizard.

with this whole...

Sensual.

family dinner thing

Aah!

What is wrong

with you people?!

Can we be normal

one GD day

out my entire

GD life?

Hey, what's with

all the GDs today?

It means "God damn. "

I know what it means.

I competed in the state

regionals today,

and no one showed up.

Oh, that

jump-roping thing.

Oh, wow.

Was that today?

I left GD notes around

the entire GD house.

There it is again.

That's what that little

yellow Post-it was.

You both said

you'd be there.

No, I said

I had a meeting,

that I couldn't come.

And if I said

I was gonna come,

you know I'd

be there, baby.

Okay. Mickey.

No, Mickey, don't.

No, Mickey.

Mickey, don't, please.

Mickey, no. Shh.

Mm-hmm.

January 15, 7:
32 P.M. Eastern

Standard Time.

Emily... "It's at 3:30.

You'll be there?"

Dad... "3:
30. Okay. " Mom... "Yes, yes,

I'll be there. "

Emily... "Okay, because you

missed the district finals. "

Mom... "I also missed my 20s

pregnant with you and your brother. "

Okay, that's enough.

Emily, look, I don't understand

what the big deal is,

okay, this jumping rope.

What's next, the Olympic

jumping jacks team?

Maybe you can get gold in the

freestyle dorking.

Shut up, Jacks.

It's Thor.

Shut up.

This was important

to me.

Emily, you know I don't approve

of competitive sports.

It teaches people a value system

where one person

is better than another just because

of their genetic inheritance,

because of their

physical attributes.

That's what Hitler

used to teach.

Sensual.

Are you comparing

jumping rope

to the Holocaust?

No. No, I'm just...

I don't know where you get

this competitive spirit.

It must come from

your mother's side.

I think competitive spirit

is good,

and pouring yourself

into something

that really

doesn't matter is not.

That must come

from your father's side.

I forgot the wine.

Are you saying you'd like to live in

a world without art?

Without Julian Schnabel,

Francesco Clemente,

Jean-Michel Basquiat?

Warhol, Banksy?

Well, I doubt the world

would spin off its axis.

It just might.

As today's winner,

I am now qualified

for the state championships

this Sunday.

Ooh.

And I would very

much appreciate it

if all of you came.

Nope.

I so wish I could,

but I have

a huge presentation

on Monday.

I'm sorry, baby.

I gotta finish a painting

this weekend.

It's what I imagined.

Okay, a toast

to a productive weekend.

Cheers.

Cheers. Hear, hear.

Salute.

It's not your fault.

It's a type

of sickness.

Kind of like the facial cancer

of the Tasmanian devil.

Tasmanian devil.

Emily, I... Ha.

I... I don't know

what's getting into you,

but I-I'm... I like...

The cancer

must be stopped.

Are you sure

they're even okay?

25 milligrams of Ziposal

is a nonlethal dosage.

Where'd you get Zipos...

Mom's cabinet.

Will you hand me

that tape?

No way.

When the police ask,

I never

saw anything.

Jacks...

I'm gonna need

your help on this.

I don't even know

what this is.

This is our only chance to do

something about our family.

It didn't used

to be like this.

Don't you remember?

I don't even

remember Tuesday.

You used to float

these little paper boats

with Dad in the lake.

Do you remember that?

But how does this solve

anything? I mean,

do you even have a plan?

I- I'm working on one.

Well, you might have

wanted to start with that.

I'm sorry, Em, but there's no way

I'm touching this.

What the hell?

The plan. Take a look,

and meet me downstairs.

You're such a hooker.

Is that bacon?

I made plenty.

Come sit down.

Did you look

at section 3C?

Not really.

The blue tab.

"A gripping

documentary. "

It's a once-in-a-lifetime

opportunity,

but if the subject matter

is too raw for you...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I live raw.

"Resourceful young girl

tries to save

her family from... "

No, it's a psychological

thriller.

We go inside the twisted mind

of the psychotic teen.

I don't know

if she's psychotic.

Oh, she's completely nuts.

We see her inner rage,

her sad sexual repression.

Sexual?

I'm gonna

make this film.

The world must know

what happened here.

Jacks?

My name is Thor.

And action.

You're documenting,

but I'm in charge,

or the deal is off.

Fine.

What's going on?

Em kidnapped Mom and Dad,

and I'm making

a movie of it. Yeah.

Hah!

A movie?

Yeah.

A movie! Okay.

It's not

a kidnapping.

It's a rehabilitation

Real cutting-edge,

avant-garde stuff.

Psycho daughter drugs her parents.

Godard meets Michael Moore.

Lucy, there's a really big role

in this movie for you,

but no matter what Mom or Dad say,

I'm the director.

Please.

I'm a professional.

Great.

All right, everyone,

get ready.

Okay, here we go.

Yaah!

Yeah, Dad.

That's good.

Why am I tied up?

Are we being robbed?

Is there

an intruder?

Why am I taped?

This is what happens when johns

try to skip out

without paying

for the puddin'.

Lucy, a little help, please

Sorry, pal.

No can do.

Lucinda, stop messing around.

Jackson, put down

that camera.

Thor.

If this is a joke,

I don't think

its very funny.

This is not a joke.

What's that smell?

I did this. Huh?

What?

Since you're not willing or capable of

doing it on your own,

I've made it my mission

to make this thing

you call a family actually resemble

a family again.

Lucy.

I don't under...

Is that a tofu sausage?

No, it's not.

It's pig,

and like a normal family,

we started our morning with

a well-balanced breakfast.

It comes

from a living thing.

You don't want to eat an animal

with a face, do you?

Yes, she does.

Faces, shoulders, all of that.

Dad, we're part

of the food chain,

the top part.

Is this about meat?

No, its about

being normal.

You do realize the irony

of that statement.

Extreme circumstances require

extreme measures, Mom.

Oh, you want

to see extreme?

I'll show you extreme.

Extreme

right up those stairs...

All right, All right,

al right. Calm down!

Sh*t.

I actually think there

might be some merit

to what Emily

is trying to do.

What?!

Excuse me?

All right, I know

I should be angry,

but it kind of reminds me of something

I...

might have done

when I was her age.

This is exactly

what I'm talking about.

You have no idea when

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